Things you really shouldn't have said...

2008-05-07 11:36:17

#1

bennisboy: Member; +829|7117|Poundland

Ever have it where someone says something to you that really presents itself with the perfect opportunity to respond with a tastless joke that you find hilarious, only to realise you pissed off or offended the other person. Here's a couple of mine:

My GF: You know I really like you, you're amazing
Me: Meh, you're alright, I suppose.

I got a salp for that even tho I laughed when I said it!

One after a footy match, the uni night club was having a james bond theme night. So I said to the only black guy on the team; "You know you've gotta die first dont you? You are the token!" everyone burst out laughing except him.

There's another one with me n my gf, but its not really suitable for minors

2008-05-07 11:39:26

#2

NeXuS: Shock it till ya know it; +375|6813|Atlanta, Georgia

bennisboy wrote:
There's another one with me n my gf, but its not really suitable for minors

¾ of the shit on this forum isn't suitable for minors. Go ahead and say it.

2008-05-07 11:40:43

#3

Bert10099: []D [] []\/[] []D; +177|7212|United States

bennisboy wrote:
My GF: You know I really like you, you're amazing
Me: Meh, you're alright, I suppose.

Well that was stupid.

2008-05-07 11:42:20

#4

Mekstizzle: WALKER; +3,611|7092|London, England

I dunno where to start. It's almost an everyday thing, the awkward silence followed by one/few person laughing and others going "ooh" is the usual response.

Or

"Not so loud for fuck sake"

Oh yeah and I always say bone things infront of girls too, especially when they're trying to impress or something. I have a hard time complementing people.

Last edited by Mek-Stizzle (2008-05-07 11:43:27)

2008-05-07 11:47:16

#5

bennisboy: Member; +829|7117|Poundland

NeXuS4909 wrote:
bennisboy wrote:
There's another one with me n my gf, but its not really suitable for minors
¾ of the shit on this forum isn't suitable for minors. Go ahead and say it.

Nah, its about physical attributes, probs best not to share anyway

2008-05-07 11:48:55

#6

Pug: UR father's brother's nephew's former roommate; +652|7013|Texas - Bigger than France

We have some software at work that allows you to "google" the entire document collection, and it's indexed in a way that allows for easy recovery. As part of the effort, I set up a separate private "folder" for each employee, so they can store some items on the server without anyone else having access to it. During a staff meeting:

"I've set up a special area for each of you. It's only accessible by you, so it's your private area to store some of your personal information without fear of someone else viewing these files. Even if I wanted to get access to your private area, I cannot because I do not have your password. So, much like I tell my own kids, please remember your private area is for you own use, and it's not meant to be shared with others".

Everyone laughed, except the one ultrareligious one who laughed half-heartily.

2008-05-07 11:49:23

#7

SEREVENT: MASSIVE G STAR; +605|6578|Birmingham, UK

Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?

2008-05-07 11:50:03

#8

Surgeons: U shud proabbly f off u fat prik; +3,097|6961|Gogledd Cymru

SEREVENT wrote:
Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?

"I haven't got the hang of it, can you show me?"

2008-05-07 11:50:30

#9

Noobeater: Northern numpty; +194|6918|Boulder, CO

My mind just runs away at times, the latest example of this is.

ME: *says something dumb*

Girl opposite me: "Muppet!"

ME:"......Seahorse!.... WHAT THE HELL?"

I had meant to say sea cow (manatee) for some reason but my mind decided otherwise, no it was not a freudian slip either as I am pretty sure I have not been thinking of seahorses.

2008-05-07 11:51:19

#10

Pug: UR father's brother's nephew's former roommate; +652|7013|Texas - Bigger than France

SEREVENT wrote:
Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?

You mean right now? Why do you want me to masturbate for you right now?

2008-05-07 11:52:48

#11

steelie34: pub hero!; +603|6852|the land of bourbon

The Sheriff wrote:
SEREVENT wrote:
Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?
"I haven't got the hang of it, can you show me?"

always a classic

https://bf3s.com/sigs/36e1d9e36ae924048a933db90fb05bb247fe315e.png

2008-05-07 11:53:57

#12

White-Fusion: Fuck; +616|7023|Scotland

SEREVENT wrote:
Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?

Yes... Wanna see?

2008-05-07 11:55:05

#13

SEREVENT: MASSIVE G STAR; +605|6578|Birmingham, UK

White-Fusion wrote:
SEREVENT wrote:
Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?
Yes... Wanna see?

I almost said that, but all my friends were watching and i could feel myself burning up and i didn't want to take the risk of total embarrassment...

2008-05-07 11:55:21

#14

Shem: sɥǝɯ; +152|6998|London (At Heart)

SEREVENT wrote:
Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?

"Do you?"

SEREVENT wrote:
I almost said that, but all my friends were watching and i could feel myself burning up and i didn't want to take the risk of total embarrassment...

Hate to say it, but letting girls walk all over you is pretty embarassing. You're the alpha sex bizotch

Last edited by Shem (2008-05-07 11:56:23)

2008-05-07 11:55:54

#15

Poseidon: Fudgepack DeQueef; +3,253|7009|Long Island, New York

SEREVENT wrote:
Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?

Say yeah, but it'd be awesome if they could do it for you.

2008-05-07 11:57:49

#16

Shem: sɥǝɯ; +152|6998|London (At Heart)

Poseidon wrote:
SEREVENT wrote:
Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?
Say yeah, but it'd be awesome if they could do it for you.

These responses may sound a bit retarded, but as long as you dont come off creepy using them, you actually never know

2008-05-07 11:57:57

#17

djphetal: Go Ducks.; +346|6807|Oregon

bennisboy wrote:
My GF: You know I really like you, you're amazing
Me: Meh, you're alright, I suppose.

You got slapped for that?
Your girlfriend has a wonderful sense of humor...

I don't have a lot of regrets, as far as saying things goes. I think quickly enough to avoid serious misjudgments in speech.
I regret saying "Fuck You" to Parker in the Dog/Art thread a week or so ago. I really didn't mean that.
I regret telling my mom that "Mothers day should only be recognized when your mother isn't a bitch" 6 or so years ago. I still feel awful about that. I was angst-y and pissed about something stupid.
I regret telling my little brother that "I would dance if he died" about 2 days before he went to the hospital. It was a joke... he had just beaten me in football (american) video game, so I was ridiculing him. He knows I would never mean that, but I've always kinda wondered if it was a sign from something.

2008-05-07 11:59:26

#18

Poseidon: Fudgepack DeQueef; +3,253|7009|Long Island, New York

Shem wrote:
Poseidon wrote:
SEREVENT wrote:
Meh, i always freeze up infront of people i don't know well, like today for instance, i mean, what do you say when several girls come over to you and ask if you masturbate?
Say yeah, but it'd be awesome if they could do it for you.
These responses may sound a bit retarded, but as long as you dont come off creepy using them, you actually never know

Girls are mysterious creatures.

If you're in High School and you gave that response and weren't a fat nerd, chances are they probably would if they were slutty enough.

Ah, the American education system..

2008-05-07 11:59:59

#19

killer21: Because f*ck you that's why.; +400|7062|Reisterstown, MD

This thread made me laugh.

2008-05-07 12:07:44

#20

Jenspm: penis; +1,716|7203|St. Andrews / Oslo

plenty of jew jokes with jews around... (ohai Poseidon)

Indirectly insulted a girl for having a big head (we called her Arnold behind her back):

Girl: hey
Me: hi, Arnold
*oh shit*
Girl: ARNOLD?
*tries to find up excuse*
Me: sorry, was watching hey arnold yesterday, must've gotten used to hearing his name or something.. eheh.....
*oh shit*
Girl: Fuck you

Extreme lulz were had by everyone who was there

https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/26774/flickricon.png

2008-05-07 12:22:15

#21

Bradt3hleader: Care [ ] - Don't care [x]; +121|6407

I say funny things alot, and nobody laughs. Then somebody else says it a minute later and everybody is laughing and like "Ahahaha good joke".

Damn bastards, wish there weren't so many people on this earth that think there's fun in bugging or doing mean things to others.

2008-05-07 12:36:59

#22

bennisboy: Member; +829|7117|Poundland

Oh shit, I jus remembered a few racial ones. (I'm not racist btw, me n my mates jus give eachother banter about bein different colours):

My mates were at the other end of our common room in school, I bowl over and as a jokes go "Wassup niggers!" Really loud, everyone looks slightly as though they weren't sure what to do, I'm like wats goin on, then realise some black islamic dude who never ever hangs around with us n accused everyon of being racist at the slightest thing is syanding right there! Me n my mates were all waiting for him to say something, but he jus walked off glaring at me n we all burst out laughing.

Another one was when we we're all trading racial insults:
Black mate: Yeah we'll we've got something you'll never have... (I'm guessing he was about to make a big penis joke)
Me (cutting across him): Well it's definitely not a fat lip or a balck eye, so I'm goin with AIDS

We all pissed ourselves laughing except him

2008-05-07 12:38:37

#23

Poseidon: Fudgepack DeQueef; +3,253|7009|Long Island, New York

Jenspm wrote:
plenty of jew jokes with jews around... (ohai Poseidon)

Indirectly insulted a girl for having a big head (we called her Arnold behind her back):

Girl: hey
Me: hi, Arnold
*oh shit*
Girl: ARNOLD?
*tries to find up excuse*
Me: sorry, was watching hey arnold yesterday, must've gotten used to hearing his name or something.. eheh.....
*oh shit*
Girl: Fuck you

Extreme lulz were had by everyone who was there

sup

Don't worry, I probably make more jew jokes than you do anyways...

2008-05-07 12:49:02

#24

Freezer7Pro: I don't come here a lot anymore.; +1,447|6668|Winland

I will not name one thing. I say a lot of really stupid shit every day, mostly taking the role of some anti-feminist extremist, religious fundamentalist, etc. Half of the school loves it, the other half is the one I play my pranks on.

The idea of any hi-fi system is to reproduce the source material as faithfully as possible, and to deliberately add distortion to everything you hear (due to amplifier deficiencies) because it sounds 'nice' is simply not high fidelity. If that is what you want to hear then there is no problem with that, but by adding so much additional material (by way of harmonics and intermodulation) you have a tailored sound system, not a hi-fi. - Rod Elliot, ESP

2008-05-07 12:57:46

#25

bennisboy: Member; +829|7117|Poundland

Freezer7Pro wrote:
I will not name one thing. I say a lot of really stupid shit every day, mostly taking the role of some anti-feminist extremist, religious fundamentalist, etc. Half of the school loves it, the other half is the one I play my pranks on.

Why is freezer so fat?
Cos he's full of food! hur hur hur, dammit I did it again didnt i?

BF2S Forums Things you really shouldn't have said...

bennisboy wrote:

bennisboy wrote:

NeXuS4909 wrote:

bennisboy wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

The Sheriff wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

White-Fusion wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

Poseidon wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

bennisboy wrote:

Shem wrote:

Poseidon wrote:

SEREVENT wrote:

Jenspm wrote:

Freezer7Pro wrote:

Board footer