The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
"He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 inch tree."
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
"McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."
"They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth."
"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
wow.
"They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth."
"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
wow.
Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake
-- Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
win
-- Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
win
My oxen analogy in the 20,000 RPM WD HD thread was pretty bad tbh
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
20K RPM?!haffeysucks wrote:
My oxen analogy in the 20,000 RPM WD HD thread was pretty bad tbh
I wish my English teacher used these essays as the standards on which we were graded. Compared to this shit I'm a laureate.
This one?haffeysucks wrote:
no, it's not like having two oxen that can pull 1000 lbs. each. they don't combine and create more power (in this case, speed).
it's like having a single ox that can pull 2000 lbs.
ah screw it, this analogy sucks
im i the only one that finds these hilarious!
15 more years! 15 more years!
That site burns my eyes.
Some of those were fucking hilarious
No, I lol'd too.Mitch wrote:
im i the only one that finds these hilarious!
It's from a contest in the Washington Post.HurricaИe wrote:
20K RPM?!haffeysucks wrote:
My oxen analogy in the 20,000 RPM WD HD thread was pretty bad tbh
I wish my English teacher used these essays as the standards on which we were graded. Compared to this shit I'm a laureate.
Frickin awesome.
Awesome to be honest.
yeah, lolaimless wrote:
This one?haffeysucks wrote:
no, it's not like having two oxen that can pull 1000 lbs. each. they don't combine and create more power (in this case, speed).
it's like having a single ox that can pull 2000 lbs.
ah screw it, this analogy sucks
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
I’m Sheriff John Bunnell, 27 years in law enforcement has made one thing very clear, high speed pursuits are becoming faster, and more dangerous, luckily for you the police have developed a brand new bag of tricks, so buckle up, because the chase is on.
"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30."
I hope I don't write like that.
I hope I don't write like that.
epic tbh.Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like"Second Tall Man."
-- Russell Beland, Springfield
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
-- Roy Ashley, Washington
My favorite.
-- Roy Ashley, Washington
My favorite.
I didn't think that this one was bad at all, honestly.Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like"Second Tall Man."
-- Russell Beland, Springfield
This one, however, was hilarious.She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
-- Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station
i saw this once when grading a classmate's final essay in english....the essay began with
"Little things come in small packages" me and my buddies sat and laughed saying "really? no shit haha i had no idea"
"Little things come in small packages" me and my buddies sat and laughed saying "really? no shit haha i had no idea"
The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
-- Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
Bloody women
-- Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
Bloody women
The quote on the back of my school swim team sweatshirts:
"Measure yourself, not by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability".
Worst-quote-ever
"Measure yourself, not by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability".
Worst-quote-ever
Fucking Win!Cyrax-Sektor wrote:
"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30."
I hope I don't write like that.
I'm writing that one down.