SpIk3y
Minister of Silly Walks
+67|6608|New Jersey
I just love making fun of France.


"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
    Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
    General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
    Norman Schwartzkopf.

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
    Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
    Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
    Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
    Regis Philbin.

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know."
    P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
    John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona.

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam
Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
    Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
    Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
    David Letterman

War without France would be like .. uh ... World War II.

"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
    Tom Brokaw.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
    Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
    Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
    Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"   
   Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
    Dennis Miller

Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you are French.

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army
as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
    Rep. R. Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
    John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

    The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

    French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
    (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003

    The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
Funky_Finny
Banned
+456|6601|Carnoustie, Scotland
Nice, but here?

EDIT: Ta, Ebug, that's probably better.

Last edited by Funky_Finny (2008-06-18 14:01:43)

Miggle
FUCK UBISOFT
+1,411|7211|FUCK UBISOFT

inb4andoura,

And some of those are hilarious. Especially:
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
https://i.imgur.com/86fodNE.png
Mekstizzle
WALKER
+3,611|7090|London, England
America got so fucking stupid about France because they didn't help out. Seriously, who fucking cares. Do you guys even need ANYONES help. Shit. You guys act all tough, but you're fucking crybabies.
.Sup
be nice
+2,646|6922|The Twilight Zone

Mek-Stizzle wrote:

America got so fucking stupid about France because they didn't help out. Seriously, who fucking cares. Do you guys even need ANYONES help. Shit. You guys act all tough, but you're fucking crybabies.
Mek for president of Kosovo
https://www.shrani.si/f/3H/7h/45GTw71U/untitled-1.png
Mekstizzle
WALKER
+3,611|7090|London, England

.Sup wrote:

Mek-Stizzle wrote:

America got so fucking stupid about France because they didn't help out. Seriously, who fucking cares. Do you guys even need ANYONES help. Shit. You guys act all tough, but you're fucking crybabies.
Mek for president of Kosovo
You're just going to take it away like you took away my tech badge
.Sup
be nice
+2,646|6922|The Twilight Zone

Mek-Stizzle wrote:

.Sup wrote:

Mek-Stizzle wrote:

America got so fucking stupid about France because they didn't help out. Seriously, who fucking cares. Do you guys even need ANYONES help. Shit. You guys act all tough, but you're fucking crybabies.
Mek for president of Kosovo
You're just going to take it away like you took away my tech badge

.Sup wrote:

Mek for president of Kosovo
https://www.shrani.si/f/3H/7h/45GTw71U/untitled-1.png
mikkel
Member
+383|7070
Q: How many French people gave their lives for American independence, ensuring that idiots in America today can bitch and moan about them?

A: Too many.
TSI
Cholera in the time of love
+247|6450|Toronto
oh. funny.
I like pie.
Funky_Finny
Banned
+456|6601|Carnoustie, Scotland

mikkel wrote:

Q: How many French people gave their lives for American independence, ensuring that idiots in America today can bitch and moan about them?

A: Too many.
Damn.



Dark.
SamTheMan:D
Banned
+856|6443|England

france > usa*



*does not include poseidon
Funky_Finny
Banned
+456|6601|Carnoustie, Scotland

SamTheMan:D wrote:

france > usa*



*does not include poseidon
Loooool
wensleydale8
Member
+81|7238|LEEDS!!!!!, Yorkshire
Also world renowned as surrender monkey's.
Dear God please let my karma one day reach 100, whether it be tomorrow or 1000 years in the future i want it to happen.
Mint Sauce
Frighteningly average
+780|6755|eng

TSI wrote:

oh. funny.

Profile wrote:

Location:
    Ottawa/Paris
OH SHI-
#rekt
Zimmer
Un Moderador
+1,688|7225|Scotland

SpIk3y wrote:

Load of blabbedy, but funny, bullshit
You ever been to France? You ever been to Europe? Do you know what the EU is?
Mint Sauce
Frighteningly average
+780|6755|eng

Zimmer wrote:

SpIk3y wrote:

Load of blabbedy, but funny, bullshit
You ever been to France? You ever been to Europe? Do you know what the EU is?
Even if he has or hasn't, it doesn't detract from it being funny.
#rekt
nukchebi0
Пушкин, наше всё
+387|6793|New Haven, CT

mikkel wrote:

Q: How many French people gave their lives for American independence, ensuring that idiots in America today can bitch and moan about them?

A: Too many.
Q. How many French only gave their lives for American Independence because France wanted to grab valuable territory?

A. Too many.
mikkel
Member
+383|7070

nukchebi0 wrote:

mikkel wrote:

Q: How many French people gave their lives for American independence, ensuring that idiots in America today can bitch and moan about them?

A: Too many.
Q. How many French only gave their lives for American Independence because France wanted to grab valuable territory?

A. Too many.
You never get something for nothing, that's no surprise. The outcome still stands, though.
SpIk3y
Minister of Silly Walks
+67|6608|New Jersey
They're just jokes.  If I wanted to spark a serious discussion on France as a country, I would have posted this in D&ST.  This is not intended to be taken seriously at all.

That being said, the Canadian Women's Ice Hockey Team could invade and conquer France if it wanted to.
Poseidon
Fudgepack DeQueef
+3,253|7007|Long Island, New York

SamTheMan:D wrote:

france > usa*



*does not include poseidon
i knew getting GTA IV on the PS3 would have some benefits
SamTheMan:D
Banned
+856|6443|England

Poseidon wrote:

SamTheMan:D wrote:

france > usa*



*does not include poseidon
i knew getting GTA IV on the PS3 would have some benefits
^.^
TSI
Cholera in the time of love
+247|6450|Toronto

Mint Sauce wrote:

TSI wrote:

oh. funny.

Profile wrote:

Location:
    Ottawa/Paris
OH SHI-
He gets it.
I like pie.
FatherTed
xD
+3,936|6969|so randum
I love France.

If you speak a little bit of French, they love you back.
Small hourglass island
Always raining and foggy
Use an umbrella
Tehremos
Parcel of ol' Crams
+128|6877|Somersetshire

Zimmer wrote:

SpIk3y wrote:

Load of blabbedy, but funny, bullshit
You ever been to France? You ever been to Europe? Do you know what the EU is?
no, never been to France, would love to go someday, do wine tasting and such

I live in Europe, very diverse place with many fun and crazy traditions like Cheese Rolling, Morris Dancing and My local Favourite, the Hobby Horse


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheese_rolling
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morris_Dancing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minehead#M … obby_Horse


The EU, well, maybe borderline Dictatorship lol

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