This bug was huge.
It was menacing.
It obviously would have hurt me, because I could sense the hate in it's gaze.
So I took a roll of paper towels to its face.
Unfortunately for myself, I vastly overestimated the killing power of a nearly-full roll of paper towels.
Also unfortunately for myself, I underestimated this bug's fortitude.
For the next five minutes, a battle ensued.
The huge, menacing bug flew at me.
Swing!
Strike one!
Swing!
Strike two!
Swing!
POW!!!
But the bug would have none of it. Falling against the kitchen counter, it took a second for the bug to regain his bearings. Once again locating me, the bug ignored his primal desire to spend hours masochistically concussing himself against my kitchen window, and instead focused on my vulnerable forehead.
"AIM," the bug thought... a German scientist calculating his trajectory. "FIRE."
And again, like a Johan Santana changeup, his elusiveness was spellbinding.
Swing!
Strike one!
Swing!
Strike two!
Swing!
Again! Third time is the charm! Contact!
And yes! What placement! (or luck!)
*******************************************
Reeling from the blow, gathering his abdomen into his thorax, and his thorax into his head, he thanked his God for his exoskeletal chassis. His six legs filled with blood and stood his body upright. Through the blinding ultraviolet of a midsummer's day's spectral barrage, he located his assaulter.
What hate, what senseless violence. He saw it in their newspapers... on their televisions. Images of warfare... death...
I am done for, if this is what I am up against. These beings are monsters. First they imprison me inside their invisible walls, and then they strike at me with bludgeoning white cylinders which break my legs and bend my wings, but spare my soul to feel the pain for an eternity. And my family. I will never forget their faces as I flew away. I told them to follow me. The nectar was too sweet to be borne of terrestrial foliage. It was an apple from Eden, planted by these lumbering devils. But I left them to die... so maybe this is my fate. But, if this is my fate, I will not accept if without a fight!.
*******************************************
Then I turned the water on and the bug went down my garbage disposal. Then I turned the disposal on for... 2 or 3 minutes, while continually running water. And I poured some rubbing alcohol down there for good measure.
It was menacing.
It obviously would have hurt me, because I could sense the hate in it's gaze.
So I took a roll of paper towels to its face.
Unfortunately for myself, I vastly overestimated the killing power of a nearly-full roll of paper towels.
Also unfortunately for myself, I underestimated this bug's fortitude.
For the next five minutes, a battle ensued.
The huge, menacing bug flew at me.
Swing!
Strike one!
Swing!
Strike two!
Swing!
POW!!!
But the bug would have none of it. Falling against the kitchen counter, it took a second for the bug to regain his bearings. Once again locating me, the bug ignored his primal desire to spend hours masochistically concussing himself against my kitchen window, and instead focused on my vulnerable forehead.
"AIM," the bug thought... a German scientist calculating his trajectory. "FIRE."
And again, like a Johan Santana changeup, his elusiveness was spellbinding.
Swing!
Strike one!
Swing!
Strike two!
Swing!
Again! Third time is the charm! Contact!
And yes! What placement! (or luck!)
*******************************************
Reeling from the blow, gathering his abdomen into his thorax, and his thorax into his head, he thanked his God for his exoskeletal chassis. His six legs filled with blood and stood his body upright. Through the blinding ultraviolet of a midsummer's day's spectral barrage, he located his assaulter.
What hate, what senseless violence. He saw it in their newspapers... on their televisions. Images of warfare... death...
I am done for, if this is what I am up against. These beings are monsters. First they imprison me inside their invisible walls, and then they strike at me with bludgeoning white cylinders which break my legs and bend my wings, but spare my soul to feel the pain for an eternity. And my family. I will never forget their faces as I flew away. I told them to follow me. The nectar was too sweet to be borne of terrestrial foliage. It was an apple from Eden, planted by these lumbering devils. But I left them to die... so maybe this is my fate. But, if this is my fate, I will not accept if without a fight!.
*******************************************
Then I turned the water on and the bug went down my garbage disposal. Then I turned the disposal on for... 2 or 3 minutes, while continually running water. And I poured some rubbing alcohol down there for good measure.
