Yeah, hooking up with an ex when you're drunk is awful... Well, the next day.
who dumped who?Finray wrote:
Me and Jenni broke up yesterday..
Don't be childish. We broke up.Peter wrote:
who dumped who?Finray wrote:
Me and Jenni broke up yesterday..
That's not childish, don't be a dick.Finray wrote:
Don't be childish. We broke up.Peter wrote:
who dumped who?Finray wrote:
Me and Jenni broke up yesterday..
I think she broke up with him otherwise he would be in a much happier less defensive mood.
She dumped Fin.Finray wrote:
Don't be childish. We broke up.Peter wrote:
who dumped who?Finray wrote:
Me and Jenni broke up yesterday..
Blackbelts are just whitebelts who have never quit.
Spill the beans. What was said, what happened etc.Finray wrote:
Me and Jenni broke up yesterday..
if it's properly over, then the honest and painfully truthful best way is to never be friends or talk to her again
staying close to exes that were 'the real deal' or had special significance is a constant emotional pain; there will always be a string tugging, somewhere. fuck. that. you'll be better off putting a tombstone in your back garden, hosting a funeral service and convincing your head that to all greater extent the girl is dead.
staying close to exes that were 'the real deal' or had special significance is a constant emotional pain; there will always be a string tugging, somewhere. fuck. that. you'll be better off putting a tombstone in your back garden, hosting a funeral service and convincing your head that to all greater extent the girl is dead.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
This is quite accurate. No point in messing with your own brain over lost love. If you stay friends it will eventually start going towards the hate etc when you see her with someone else. At that point you realize you can't have her anymore and you start punishing yourself all over again. Forget about it now and off you go to the next pair of legs. Otherwise you'll get mad and sad over something you can't do anything about anymore. I've tried that and boy did it suck. Be cold about it and go.Uzique wrote:
if it's properly over, then the honest and painfully truthful best way is to never be friends or talk to her again
staying close to exes that were 'the real deal' or had special significance is a constant emotional pain; there will always be a string tugging, somewhere. fuck. that. you'll be better off putting a tombstone in your back garden, hosting a funeral service and convincing your head that to all greater extent the girl is dead.
Well you may recall me saying that we had a pretty srs discussion in which she said she wanted to be single, but it wasn't anything I had done, or anything was wrong with her relationship, she just felt she wanted to have the chance to go out on the town with the girlies or something, but she also said she didn't want to break up now. (When she said that). So that was.. umm Friday I think. We went to town on Sunday and everything seemed normal, and she even bought me some clothes (since she didn't get me an anniversary present). She came over after school on Monday and just seemed kinda, as if we were just friends. I had to chase her for a hug or a kiss or whatever. Seemed kinda distant. I said to her "Is there much point in going on, if you want to be single, and the only reason we're together is cause I want to still?" she said "Nah there's probably not, but I don't want to dump you" to which I replied "Well you don't want to go out with me, I don't want to go out with you if you're going to be like this and we're basically going to be friends anyway.. what's the point if our relationship can't advance or we don't even do anything [sexual-type-anything]" "Yeah". "I think you want to break up with me but you just don't have the balls... soo.. I think I should do it". "Yeah okay." "K.. well.. cya then." (She was leaving soon anyway).Zimmer wrote:
Spill the beans. What was said, what happened etc.Finray wrote:
Me and Jenni broke up yesterday..
She came over yesterday after school again and we sat and watched House, and kissed a bit and she came over today again and we kissed a bit more, and I asked her what was going on. She said we might as well just give this a shot, sort of going out, but not officially, kinda like friends with benefits.
also speak from experience, im not trying to be a meanie finray. if you know it's totally done, cauterize the wound now - don't lose anymore blood.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
Finray wrote:
Well you may recall me saying that we had a pretty srs discussion in which she said she wanted to be single, but it wasn't anything I had done, or anything was wrong with her relationship, she just felt she wanted to have the chance to go out on the town with the girlies or something, but she also said she didn't want to break up now. (When she said that). So that was.. umm Friday I think. We went to town on Sunday and everything seemed normal, and she even bought me some clothes (since she didn't get me an anniversary present). She came over after school on Monday and just seemed kinda, as if we were just friends. I had to chase her for a hug or a kiss or whatever. Seemed kinda distant. I said to her "Is there much point in going on, if you want to be single, and the only reason we're together is cause I want to still?" she said "Nah there's probably not, but I don't want to dump you" to which I replied "Well you don't want to go out with me, I don't want to go out with you if you're going to be like this and we're basically going to be friends anyway.. what's the point if our relationship can't advance or we don't even do anything [sexual-type-anything]" "Yeah". "I think you want to break up with me but you just don't have the balls... soo.. I think I should do it". "Yeah okay." "K.. well.. cya then." (She was leaving soon anyway).Zimmer wrote:
Spill the beans. What was said, what happened etc.Finray wrote:
Me and Jenni broke up yesterday..
She came over yesterday after school again and we sat and watched House, and kissed a bit and she came over today again and we kissed a bit more, and I asked her what was going on. She said we might as well just give this a shot, sort of going out, but not officially, kinda like friends with benefits.
CammRobb wrote:
Edit: Fin, sever all ties with her. Don't remain friends. That's when shit gets nasty when you both get drunk at a party or whatever. Just don't spend time with her.
Finray wrote:
As a general rule I don't accept advice from you
Ah, a fuckbuddy. That always works. Just remember to leave the feeling-o-meter on the frozen side. Otherwise hearts start to break.Finray wrote:
Well you may recall me saying that we had a pretty srs discussion in which she said she wanted to be single, but it wasn't anything I had done, or anything was wrong with her relationship, she just felt she wanted to have the chance to go out on the town with the girlies or something, but she also said she didn't want to break up now. (When she said that). So that was.. umm Friday I think. We went to town on Sunday and everything seemed normal, and she even bought me some clothes (since she didn't get me an anniversary present). She came over after school on Monday and just seemed kinda, as if we were just friends. I had to chase her for a hug or a kiss or whatever. Seemed kinda distant. I said to her "Is there much point in going on, if you want to be single, and the only reason we're together is cause I want to still?" she said "Nah there's probably not, but I don't want to dump you" to which I replied "Well you don't want to go out with me, I don't want to go out with you if you're going to be like this and we're basically going to be friends anyway.. what's the point if our relationship can't advance or we don't even do anything [sexual-type-anything]" "Yeah". "I think you want to break up with me but you just don't have the balls... soo.. I think I should do it". "Yeah okay." "K.. well.. cya then." (She was leaving soon anyway).Zimmer wrote:
Spill the beans. What was said, what happened etc.Finray wrote:
Me and Jenni broke up yesterday..
She came over yesterday after school again and we sat and watched House, and kissed a bit and she came over today again and we kissed a bit more, and I asked her what was going on. She said we might as well just give this a shot, sort of going out, but not officially, kinda like friends with benefits.
Yeah I dunno if she'd go for it though. As mentioned before she's the "honestly-could-do-without-sex-in-my-life" type. So perhaps it's just powered by the "we just broke up, so we probably shouldn't be kissing right now, forbidden fruit" feelings. I know I felt them.
it works until 3 months down the line you realize you've taken your emotions for a fucking ride and haven't really benefited at all. you can get kisses, hugs and the odd occasional lay from anyone else- it doesn't have to be someone with so much historical baggage. convenience... yeah, right.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
I think this is true only if you hold on to her right after the relationship. It's been 5 months since me and my ex broke up... I broke most contact from her in that time, only occasionally talking and all that - she was the one that made the effort to talk.Uzique wrote:
if it's properly over, then the honest and painfully truthful best way is to never be friends or talk to her again
staying close to exes that were 'the real deal' or had special significance is a constant emotional pain; there will always be a string tugging, somewhere. fuck. that. you'll be better off putting a tombstone in your back garden, hosting a funeral service and convincing your head that to all greater extent the girl is dead.
Then last Saturday we agreed to meet up, and when I did... There was no emotional tug or pain, I was happy to see her and the idea of her still made me funny inside, but I never thought of grabbing her and kissing her, of wanting her or anything else. She was a new girl to me, that I didn't have much interest in. She noticed that (after I made sarcastic jokes at how poor our relationship was) and now I believe she's severed total contact from me. I think (hope?) she realised what she had lost and it opened the wounds that she tried to close by running around several guys... I found that a bit ironic seeing as she was the one that broke up with me and was insensitive about it.
So yeah, I think it's fine after [insert X months of the time you believe you need to get over a girl], but I agree that maintaining contact right after is not a good idea.
That will most likely change; she's just not in the emotional state to care for it atm. There are few girls who maintain that idea throughout life.Finray wrote:
Yeah I dunno if she'd go for it though. As mentioned before she's the "honestly-could-do-without-sex-in-my-life" type. So perhaps it's just powered by the "we just broke up, so we probably shouldn't be kissing right now, forbidden fruit" feelings. I know I felt them.
Also, break contact with her. There is no need to be friends. Just stop it now. Seriously. Be friend 5/6/7 months down the line, but not now. Go crazy and have fun, and leave her out of your life.
Why be a fucking tool? I've got two years on you and I've been through more of this shit than you, I've giving the same advice other people are, so why be a fucking prick?Finray wrote:
Finray wrote:
As a general rule I don't accept advice from you
meet up with her 10 more times then tell me she's 'just another girl'.Zimmer wrote:
I think this is true only if you hold on to her right after the relationship. It's been 5 months since me and my ex broke up... I broke most contact from her in that time, only occasionally talking and all that - she was the one that made the effort to talk.Uzique wrote:
if it's properly over, then the honest and painfully truthful best way is to never be friends or talk to her again
staying close to exes that were 'the real deal' or had special significance is a constant emotional pain; there will always be a string tugging, somewhere. fuck. that. you'll be better off putting a tombstone in your back garden, hosting a funeral service and convincing your head that to all greater extent the girl is dead.
Then last Saturday we agreed to meet up, and when I did... There was no emotional tug or pain, I was happy to see her and the idea of her still made me funny inside, but I never thought of grabbing her and kissing her, of wanting her or anything else. She was a new girl to me, that I didn't have much interest in. She noticed that (after I made sarcastic jokes at how poor our relationship was) and now I believe she's severed total contact from me. I think (hope?) she realised what she had lost and it opened the wounds that she tried to close by running around several guys... I found that a bit ironic seeing as she was the one that broke up with me and was insensitive about it.
So yeah, I think it's fine after [insert X months of the time you believe you need to get over a girl], but I agree that maintaining contact right after is not a good idea.
i left it for months, too. then rebroke the friendship barrier, again. i live with my ex, dunno if you remember.
it doesn't stay that way for either person and it becomes messy again very quickly. i still get my ex coming into my room whenever she's unhappy with her current life so she can hang out and get a hug from me. yeah, i'll give it cause i don't like to see her unhappy. but, benefit? easy friendship? hell fucking no. it's an emotional headfuck. avoid if you can.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
Finray your relationship sounds exactly like mine but in terms of progress your like 2 months behind. Everything you have said about the break up has happened to me. Similar reasons etc. Do what the other guys are saying. Little contact as possible. When we talk I'm nice to her, but I try not to initiate conversation (she does owe me money though so I'm quick to remind her about that shit).
Yeah, by then you're probably right, but I doubt that will happen to me. We lead two completely different lives.Uzique wrote:
meet up with her 10 more times then tell me she's 'just another girl'.
Lol how much we talking?JakAttaK wrote:
Finray your relationship sounds exactly like mine but in terms of progress your like 2 months behind. Everything you have said about the break up has happened to me. Similar reasons etc. Do what the other guys are saying. Little contact as possible. When we talk I'm nice to her, but I try not to initiate conversation (she does owe me money though so I'm quick to remind her about that shit).
im guessing finray is more like me than you in terms of situation...Zimmer wrote:
Yeah, by then you're probably right, but I doubt that will happen to me. We lead two completely different lives.Uzique wrote:
meet up with her 10 more times then tell me she's 'just another girl'.
i.e. more likely to see her around than not
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/