Freke1 wrote:
killer21 wrote:
...If a someone happens to take a vegetable to the head by accident, don't scream out, "BOOM, headshot". etc.
One square of paper, even four thick with not contain my chowder. I have to use a unfolded newspaper and stand well back.jord wrote:
Ironing-Get your mum to do it
Failing that, wash your clothes and when you take them out lay them perfectly straight on the radiator. Or buy polyester t shirts like Football shirts, as they can't and don't need to be ironed
Wanking-
Pull off 4 segments of toilet roll and fold them over so it is 4 times thicker. Put this to penis on ejaculation to save yourself having to have a wash, I also keep one close by for dabs on pre cum.
speak for yourself yoTopHat01 wrote:
Freke1 wrote:
killer21 wrote:
...If a someone happens to take a vegetable to the head by accident, don't scream out, "BOOM, headshot". etc.
Of course not, thats so last year.killer21 wrote:
...If a someone happens to take a vegetable to the head by accident, don't scream out, "BOOM, headshot". etc.
A simple "Pwned." would be best in that situation.
Mash Potato
You may find yaself mashing them rather than roasting the lil bastards. Well if you do fear not, this will cream your way into her y-fronts. You know when you add the milk, microwave it first, it keeps the mash hot. Also chuck a small amount of grated cheese in, she won't notice it. You could also add 2 crushed paracetomol, so when you stick ya hands down her pants and she gives it, 'uh uh foo foo got headache' you can reply, 'ha ha ya lying cow I fed you to pills and you don't even know about it'
You may find yaself mashing them rather than roasting the lil bastards. Well if you do fear not, this will cream your way into her y-fronts. You know when you add the milk, microwave it first, it keeps the mash hot. Also chuck a small amount of grated cheese in, she won't notice it. You could also add 2 crushed paracetomol, so when you stick ya hands down her pants and she gives it, 'uh uh foo foo got headache' you can reply, 'ha ha ya lying cow I fed you to pills and you don't even know about it'
I must say that I have never had this problem ever before. What cheap clothes are you buying 27!1927 wrote:
Washing your clothes
Wash them all on 60 and they won't run. I have never ever managed to make my clothes run in 17 years of doing my own stuff.
If I did this though, all my clothes would shrink, as my mum used to always wash my stuff on a higher temperature and I would be talking with a squeeky voice all the time!
Read again Dude, Im fine with my washing mate, my gf makes all her whites go grey, mine never run.theDude5B wrote:
I must say that I have never had this problem ever before. What cheap clothes are you buying 27!1927 wrote:
Washing your clothes
Wash them all on 60 and they won't run. I have never ever managed to make my clothes run in 17 years of doing my own stuff.
If I did this though, all my clothes would shrink, as my mum used to always wash my stuff on a higher temperature and I would be talking with a squeeky voice all the time!
Im buying quality clothes I'll have you know, all my thongs are from M&S but my bra's are Primark due to the damage caused during the heat of the moment.
Ha ha ha ha... subtle!1927 wrote:
Mash Potato
You may find yaself mashing them rather than roasting the lil bastards. Well if you do fear not, this will cream your way into her y-fronts. You know when you add the milk, microwave it first, it keeps the mash hot. Also chuck a small amount of grated cheese in, she won't notice it. You could also add 2 crushed paracetomol, so when you stick ya hands down her pants and she gives it, 'uh uh foo foo got headache' you can reply, 'ha ha ya lying cow I fed you to pills and you don't even know about it'
It's like a hybrid between Ramsay's Kitchen and a Date-Rape Infomercial.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
Take the food out of it it still works:Uzique wrote:
Ha ha ha ha... subtle!1927 wrote:
Mash Potato
You may find yaself mashing them rather than roasting the lil bastards. Well if you do fear not, this will cream your way into her y-fronts. You know when you add the milk, microwave it first, it keeps the mash hot. Also chuck a small amount of grated cheese in, she won't notice it. You could also add 2 crushed paracetomol, so when you stick ya hands down her pants and she gives it, 'uh uh foo foo got headache' you can reply, 'ha ha ya lying cow I fed you to pills and you don't even know about it'
It's like a hybrid between Ramsay's Kitchen and a Date-Rape Infomercial.
27: Hi love, want some headache tablets?
Mrs 27: No thanks big balls I don't even have a headache???
27: Great - Bedroom, clothes off NOW!!
That Ramsay's been putting it about a bit recently the twat, comes across all family man, getting baby animals to feed up and kill, having his kids and Wife on camera while all along he was off fucking some other woman. Lost all respect for him.
1. Dont go crazy on the axe for gods sake.
2. Be a gent and dress smartly.
3. Comment her but not too much. They love it.
4. Dont be too "agressive" with her. Play it friend at start, then get closer.
5. First dates. I dont see why people get all crazy about it. Try: "x day im going to the cinema/party/whatever with my mates, come with a friend of yours if you fancy". It doesnt have to be an 1-on-1 date, and having a friend with you will always break the awkwardness. Be nice, make not too offensive jokes of her, and you'll get along.
6. Learn POOL, because pool=testosterone. Chicks dig it and its a good way to impress them. And you can always teach her and get "closer".
2. Be a gent and dress smartly.
3. Comment her but not too much. They love it.
4. Dont be too "agressive" with her. Play it friend at start, then get closer.
5. First dates. I dont see why people get all crazy about it. Try: "x day im going to the cinema/party/whatever with my mates, come with a friend of yours if you fancy". It doesnt have to be an 1-on-1 date, and having a friend with you will always break the awkwardness. Be nice, make not too offensive jokes of her, and you'll get along.
6. Learn POOL, because pool=testosterone. Chicks dig it and its a good way to impress them. And you can always teach her and get "closer".
that had me lolling for hours1927 wrote:
'ha ha ya lying cow I fed you to pills and you don't even know about it'
Most of the time the less you think about things the smoother you flow.
Hey, it's Riot-Eater! Having nice riots over there?Metal-Eater-GR wrote:
1. Dont go crazy on the axe for gods sake.
2. Be a gent and dress smartly.
3. Comment her but not too much. They love it.
4. Dont be too "agressive" with her. Play it friend at start, then get closer.
5. First dates. I dont see why people get all crazy about it. Try: "x day im going to the cinema/party/whatever with my mates, come with a friend of yours if you fancy". It doesnt have to be an 1-on-1 date, and having a friend with you will always break the awkwardness. Be nice, make not too offensive jokes of her, and you'll get along.
6. Learn POOL, because pool=testosterone. Chicks dig it and its a good way to impress them. And you can always teach her and get "closer".that had me lolling for hours1927 wrote:
'ha ha ya lying cow I fed you to pills and you don't even know about it'
Im envious of the agro they are getting. Why don't it ever kick off in Cardiff unless it's football related. We did have riots but that was 25 years ago approx now. All the Euro capitols get it except for the Welsh one.Ultrafunkula wrote:
Hey, it's Riot-Eater! Having nice riots over there?Metal-Eater-GR wrote:
1. Dont go crazy on the axe for gods sake.
2. Be a gent and dress smartly.
3. Comment her but not too much. They love it.
4. Dont be too "agressive" with her. Play it friend at start, then get closer.
5. First dates. I dont see why people get all crazy about it. Try: "x day im going to the cinema/party/whatever with my mates, come with a friend of yours if you fancy". It doesnt have to be an 1-on-1 date, and having a friend with you will always break the awkwardness. Be nice, make not too offensive jokes of her, and you'll get along.
6. Learn POOL, because pool=testosterone. Chicks dig it and its a good way to impress them. And you can always teach her and get "closer".that had me lolling for hours1927 wrote:
'ha ha ya lying cow I fed you to pills and you don't even know about it'
Hire Tom Jones to pull a show and aggravate ppl?1927 wrote:
Im envious of the agro they are getting. Why don't it ever kick off in Cardiff unless it's football related. We did have riots but that was 25 years ago approx now. All the Euro capitols get it except for the Welsh one.
dam i thought this was about the Dude.
want ladyfriends? be this guy
want ladyfriends? be this guy
ƒ³
1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.
2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. On your anniversary give the girl ring box with tiffany on the side, however inside just put a 99p ring from walmart with the price left on. This will tell her not to judge a book by its cover.
4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.
5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.
6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.
8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.
10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.
2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. On your anniversary give the girl ring box with tiffany on the side, however inside just put a 99p ring from walmart with the price left on. This will tell her not to judge a book by its cover.
4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.
5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.
6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.
8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.
10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.
good ways way to get a nut nickAce.O.Lamb wrote:
1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.
2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. On your anniversary give the girl ring box with tiffany on the side, however inside just put a 99p ring from walmart with the price left on. This will tell her not to judge a book by its cover.
4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.
5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.
6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.
8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.
10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.
Am i the only who finds that not funny?Ace.O.Lamb wrote:
1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.
2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. On your anniversary give the girl ring box with tiffany on the side, however inside just put a 99p ring from walmart with the price left on. This will tell her not to judge a book by its cover.
4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.
5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.
6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.
8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.
10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.
No not the only one.aerodynamic wrote:
Am i the only who finds that not funny?Ace.O.Lamb wrote:
1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.
2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. On your anniversary give the girl ring box with tiffany on the side, however inside just put a 99p ring from walmart with the price left on. This will tell her not to judge a book by its cover.
4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.
5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.
6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.
8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.
10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.
Dear God please let my karma one day reach 100, whether it be tomorrow or 1000 years in the future i want it to happen.
Tip if you call your GF shit faced Drunk at 4:00 in morning, make sure she's really cool first.. I win..
Never do a threesome. Eventually she's going to ask for the next one to have a different girl to guy ratio.
if youre at a girls apartment and you have to crap in the middle of the night, make sure that the water level goes down before attempting to flush again, if an overflow happens, say nothing but clean and disinfect that shit as fast as you can - true story
wear clean underwear
notice a small thing about her from time to time such as a new shirt or she cut her hair
dont be boring, meaning dont be too agreeable, show some balls and disagree, dont let her get her way a lot of the time, girls like a challenge and a guy who can take control
girls like guys with skills, almost any skill (gaming rarely counts)
dont pay for everything always, every now and then is fine
buying her something cheap every now and then still means a lot
if her shit stinks up the place say nothing, if she farts in your presence laugh loudly
wear clean underwear
notice a small thing about her from time to time such as a new shirt or she cut her hair
dont be boring, meaning dont be too agreeable, show some balls and disagree, dont let her get her way a lot of the time, girls like a challenge and a guy who can take control
girls like guys with skills, almost any skill (gaming rarely counts)
dont pay for everything always, every now and then is fine
buying her something cheap every now and then still means a lot
if her shit stinks up the place say nothing, if she farts in your presence laugh loudly
only show your junk on the 1st date if she pays, no cash up front - keep the panther caged
Speeding tips.. I have never gotten a speeding ticket on a high way just by following these tips..
1. Never speed in the fast lane for a few reasons. One of which the fast lane gets cluttered up with people doing the speed limit and not passing so they can silently judge the people in the slow lane, and cops who sit in the middle are usually only pointing the guns at the fast lane and not really paying attention to the inside lanes..
2. Always use a lead car, a lead car is a fellow speeder who will hopefully be in the fast lane.. Keep your line of sight on them and try to stay far enough behind so you can see where they go but don't lose them. These will be the first car that the cop tags, but you don't want to be to close because you're the trail car and the one behind. So if you're too close the cop is more then likely going to pull you over if you're the easier target.
3. Be mind full of cars in front of you, it's human nature to do a break check if you see a cop no matter how fast you're going. So if you see break lights in front it's a good indication it's the 5-0
4. Look for gaps in tree's and be care full of exits and entries on the road.. Cops don't have to many places to hide on major highways around here so they sit where they can..
Hope this helps some of you from getting ticket and remember only drive fast on safe roads...
1. Never speed in the fast lane for a few reasons. One of which the fast lane gets cluttered up with people doing the speed limit and not passing so they can silently judge the people in the slow lane, and cops who sit in the middle are usually only pointing the guns at the fast lane and not really paying attention to the inside lanes..
2. Always use a lead car, a lead car is a fellow speeder who will hopefully be in the fast lane.. Keep your line of sight on them and try to stay far enough behind so you can see where they go but don't lose them. These will be the first car that the cop tags, but you don't want to be to close because you're the trail car and the one behind. So if you're too close the cop is more then likely going to pull you over if you're the easier target.
3. Be mind full of cars in front of you, it's human nature to do a break check if you see a cop no matter how fast you're going. So if you see break lights in front it's a good indication it's the 5-0
4. Look for gaps in tree's and be care full of exits and entries on the road.. Cops don't have to many places to hide on major highways around here so they sit where they can..
Hope this helps some of you from getting ticket and remember only drive fast on safe roads...
You forgot a huge one; if you see a person going the opposite direction on the highway flashing their headlights, this usually means that they are warning you of a cop ahead.cpt.fass1 wrote:
Speeding tips.. I have never gotten a speeding ticket on a high way just by following these tips..
1. Never speed in the fast lane for a few reasons. One of which the fast lane gets cluttered up with people doing the speed limit and not passing so they can silently judge the people in the slow lane, and cops who sit in the middle are usually only pointing the guns at the fast lane and not really paying attention to the inside lanes..
2. Always use a lead car, a lead car is a fellow speeder who will hopefully be in the fast lane.. Keep your line of sight on them and try to stay far enough behind so you can see where they go but don't lose them. These will be the first car that the cop tags, but you don't want to be to close because you're the trail car and the one behind. So if you're too close the cop is more then likely going to pull you over if you're the easier target.
3. Be mind full of cars in front of you, it's human nature to do a break check if you see a cop no matter how fast you're going. So if you see break lights in front it's a good indication it's the 5-0
4. Look for gaps in tree's and be care full of exits and entries on the road.. Cops don't have to many places to hide on major highways around here so they sit where they can..
Hope this helps some of you from getting ticket and remember only drive fast on safe roads...