Glad that lil Irish thing didnt win, his/her time will come in a few years, give him a chance to get a proper name which we can spell by then. Owen will do the same job Son, you don't have to try and be big and clever and spell it weird, just like Shania said to me 'That don't impress me much'.
Gutted JLS didnt win because they will sell records, there is a market out there for a new 'Damage/Boys 2 men', however:
Alexanderererer deserved to win as she was the best singer. Hope she stops fucking bawling though, its so off putting when your trying to crack one off and she starts crying all over Beyonce, if I had known she was going to spoil my wank I wouldn't of fucking voted, I want my money back now. I don't mind a girl crying when I'm doing her (infact, it be nice if they didnt for once) but crying and kissing Beyonce's ass verbally just don't do it for me when I'm sat with my shorts round my ankles, tongue hanging out.
Cheryl and Alex almost made me sick, how come they are best buddies all of a sudden declaring their love for each other, well if you say it you must mean it so how about showing us girls? Bet by this time next week Chezza would of taken Burkey out of her contacts list and all she will get for xmas is a Lynx Deodrant gift set which the Coles/Tweedies pick up in the Texaco 24 Hour on the way over to Burkies on Boxing Day.
The best singers went out a while ago Laura and Ruth (ola). My Mrs is so jealous of Ruth as I reckon she sexy, I try I explaining I wouldnt put my cock in it as her teeth put me off, bit like Simons (Mrs fancies him like mad, Yeah its v odd I know), but when a woman is singing her guts out for you theres nuffin better. Watch the bitch sing Purple Rain to see what I mean.
Im glad that Diane fucked off the other week, her and her fucking left hand and bare feet, she can't fucking dance either. Neither can I but thats why I didnt audtition in the first place. Jeremy Beadle must be sat at home jealous as fuck when Di brings out her left hand and starts twisting it. I would however rattle it something silly and tickle her bare feet as I make her cum, her voice would never be the same again and would drop a bit deeper. Oh hang on, she is old enough for this isn't she? I'd suck the shit off her toes though, I bet she's a squirter too?
Ruth should of won as she can be a Diva. Laura shouldn't of gone, fantastic tits on it. Thinking about it JLS are fucking gay as fuck man, silly haircuts, putting their arms around each other as they sing some sad soft shite, too much hairgel etc, greasey bastards the lot of em.
Well done Alex but JLS are going to out sell you as the market is full of women singers at the moment, your just going to get swallowed up love and disappear. A bit like Leon last year, and your never as good a Leona (dont really wanna bone'r), as she fucking ugly, fair enough she can sing, but even I can dance better than that.
So fuck all on now for another 8 months, Kick Dannii off she's a shit judge, the Louis-Simon bitch thing is getting a bit tedious now, get me on there. You won't see me standing up clapping my fucking hands like a special kid when the ice'y van turns up, Im sat down having my usual Sat night wank with my Strongbow on the table, fuck ya glass of water (bet its Vodka in Louis's) 'You remoind me of a hic, hic, remoind me of aaaaa, hic, feck orf ya shite, hic Ronaaaaaan Keating'.
Hallafuckingluyah - What a load of fooking shite that is. Make a song with one fucking word in all the way through so they silly cunts cant get the words wrong. Thank fuck this aint Britian got talent, the rest of the world would be laughing even fucking more.
* sorry for bad gramma and spelling but I have no heating in work and my hands dont warm up till 1/2pm, I havent got an excuse for the afternoon session when I still can't fucking spell but dont have 'blue hand syndrome'.