HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA1927 wrote:
A mans wife lies in a coma and has done for 8 months now with not much sign of life really. One day as normal the nurses were giving her a bed bath, they wipe her all over with the sponge keeping her clean. One of the nurses was new on ward that day without thinking she puts the sponge between the comatosed womans legs and gives it a rub. beeep, beeep...teddy..jimmy wrote:
"I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring..."
ahahahahahahaha
'Fuck me, you see that? Do it again'. So she did beeep, beeep. The senior nurse sent the fresh junior nurse out to get the doctor. 'Come quick' she tells him 'you gotta see this'.
They showed the doctor what had happened and he ran straight to the phone to ring the husband and tell him how his wife had given a reaction for the first time in ages.
he rushed to the hospital and the awaiting doctor took him straight into the room. The doc asked him not to build his hopes up but maybe he could stimulate his wife as the nurses had and she may offer some kind of reaction again.
The staff pulled the curtains to offer some privacy, gave the husband a bowl of warm soapy water and a sponge and sent him on his way.
In he goes, rolls his sleeves up and starts talking to the wife about what he and the kids had done in the last day, this was usual practice for the man. he's wiping away with the sponge and the machine is beeping like mad. The door knocks and the man says come in. Its the doc.
he suggests putting the sponge away and the man to rub his wife's fanny with his hands and maybe insert a finger or two - 'see what happens'. Hubby agree's and the doc leaves the room.
Again the doc knocks and enters and his wife's reactions have been going non stop, she's fucking loving it and even her eyes have been twitching. The Doc suggests oral sex and even though the Hubby is reluctant at first he agrees to it as its for 'her' benifit and may just be the thing to bring her out of her sad state.
The doc leaves and the man gets to work, After a few minutes the alarm starts sounding and his wife has flat lined. 'beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep'. The man is just getting off the bed when the doors crash open and the medics rush in with de-fib's etc.
'What the fucks happened?' cries the doctor 'what did you do to her?' he adds.
'I dunno' says the husband 'but I think she choked'.
cool story
The true ones are always the best. They bring a tear to my eye. I offer Shrek as one example of this.Red Forman wrote:
cool story
looks like the cop was wrong I'm not the only one
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
Morning
thats in the county of Swansea, they need all the eggs they can get to feed their kids.Red Forman wrote:
http://static.bf2s.com/files/user/51167/egg%20smash.jpg
shut up my godebug9 wrote:
Morning
Ann-Mari is hot. Put in a good word for me...teddy..jimmy wrote:
tis I...just come across the website textfromlastnight....fucking hilarious
I need around tree fiddy.
...OH MY GOD I HAVE MISSED THIS BAND
HOW DID WE EVER DRIFT APART, DEAREST?
it should be a sin to neglect a band like that for so many years.
HOW DID WE EVER DRIFT APART, DEAREST?
it should be a sin to neglect a band like that for so many years.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
word. you are an infidel also.m3thod wrote:
Allah hu Akbar and death to all infidels.
interpol interpol interpol interpol interpol
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
Not really a fan of Interpol.
HEALTH HEALTH HEALTH HEALTH HEALTH
interpol are one of the most important american bands in the last 10 years, in my opinion. give them time and a chance. as soon as you get into their sound you'll find all of their songs so hooky and perfect.
basically reinvented the new york post-punk scene.
that and their bassist comes from an old-school skramz band called hot cross... they're a musical mashpot of talent.
basically reinvented the new york post-punk scene.
that and their bassist comes from an old-school skramz band called hot cross... they're a musical mashpot of talent.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
agreed...interpol are awesome
Random question:
Is it possible to smoke a spliff out of your arse? I was thinking about this and I figured if you stuck it in far enough and farted the vacuum would suck the smoke in and give a massive high.
Thoughts?
Random question:
Is it possible to smoke a spliff out of your arse? I was thinking about this and I figured if you stuck it in far enough and farted the vacuum would suck the smoke in and give a massive high.
Thoughts?
yeahRed Forman wrote:
word. you are an infidel also.m3thod wrote:
Allah hu Akbar and death to all infidels.
That's absolute genius, you should try it, really..teddy..jimmy wrote:
agreed...interpol are awesome
Random question:
Is it possible to smoke a spliff out of your arse? I was thinking about this and I figured if you stuck it in far enough and farted the vacuum would suck the smoke in and give a massive high.
Thoughts?
teddy... you're wasted.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
yeahMekstizzle wrote:
yeahRed Forman wrote:
word. you are an infidel also.m3thod wrote:
Allah hu Akbar and death to all infidels.
fu marine, fu
No need to call me god.Red Forman wrote:
shut up my godebug9 wrote:
Morning
fish market
Baba Booey
You'd have to fart and then stick it in really quick so that the smoke travels in along with the atmosphere attempting to create an equilibrium within your colon and outside..teddy..jimmy wrote:
agreed...interpol are awesome
Random question:
Is it possible to smoke a spliff out of your arse? I was thinking about this and I figured if you stuck it in far enough and farted the vacuum would suck the smoke in and give a massive high.
Thoughts?
Otherwise the smoke would just travel out as you farted, and you know how with spliffs you have to keep on relighting it now and then so it wouldn't be as effective, teddy.