Help me dress like a woman

2010-07-15 03:50:31

#1

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Not any ol woman but Petula Clarke.

On 24th July I have agreed to be Petula Clarke in our Cricket Clubs 'Stars in their eyes' night.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I keep agreeing to these things.

1. Getting waxed.
2. Being a naked waiter
3. Dressing up as a bird and belting out 'Downtown'.

Where the fuck am I going to get a frock from?

Easy I suppose, female mates/charity shops. It has to be hideous, like what they wore in the 60's.

Where the fuck am I going to get white knee length boots, size 10.

I suppose I could try rubbishtranvestites.com or something, but serious for a second. None of my female mates will have size 10 feet, if they were to have size 10's they aint being a friend of mine, the freaks.

I have had a look at pictures of Petula, but most are black and white.

I reckon I need:

White knee length boots, a frock and a Blonde wig.

Im not shaving my legs for this, I never drink down the club due to it not being close to my house, but fuck Im gonna have to get pissed to do this. I cant sing and cant dance. I reckon I should though go and serenade my mates as I sing the song though, leave the stage and go and sit on their laps and sing to them.

Any other help please? Any of you dressed as a woman before? Any of you havent?

2010-07-15 03:53:42

#2

Metal-Eater-GR: I can haz titanium paancakez?; +490|6666

lmao, record a video if you do it

2010-07-15 03:53:46

#3

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

2010-07-15 03:54:47

#4

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Metal-Eater-GR wrote:
lmao, record a video if you do it

I wouldnt worry about that

2010-07-15 03:57:08

#5

Metal-Eater-GR: I can haz titanium paancakez?; +490|6666

OT, yes I've dressed like a woman before, at a fancy dress party. White dress, blonde wig, make up, lipstick etc, it was lulz

2010-07-15 04:02:37

#6

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Make up?? fuck.

2010-07-15 04:04:27

#7

Metal-Eater-GR: I can haz titanium paancakez?; +490|6666

yeah, you have to do it properly man. You should wear make up

2010-07-15 04:05:55

#8

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Lippy and eye shadow?

2010-07-15 04:15:26

#9

Metal-Eater-GR: I can haz titanium paancakez?; +490|6666

Oh yes. I would post a pic of me so you could see what Im talking about but I would get trolled for months

2010-07-15 04:50:56

#10

Eifa: Never regret anything that ever made you smile.; +923|6265|00770

Oh god. I think im gonna have to get back to this thread when i get home so i wont have to use my phone.
On another note, for some funny reason im not even surprised

No, I don't need an attitude adjustment. You just need to fuck off.

2010-07-15 04:54:00

#11

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Im suprised you havent reminded me what night I agreed to this, it might of been when you were singing. Nothing suprises me, what a fool I am though. I usually sing this with Molls at home on singstar, she's already turned me down for a duet

2010-07-15 04:59:56

#12

ghettoperson: Member; +1,943|7042

Am I the only one who's never heard of Petula Clarke?

2010-07-15 05:17:06

#13

Sisco: grandmaster league revivalist; +493|6737

ghettoperson wrote:
Am I the only one who's never heard of Petula Clarke?

No.

https://www.abload.de/img/bf3-bf2ssig0250wvn.jpg

2010-07-15 05:18:23

#14

loubot: O' HAL naw!; +470|6971|Columbus, OH

love to help you but eh, yah........

2010-07-15 05:31:01

#15

Eifa: Never regret anything that ever made you smile.; +923|6265|00770

1927 wrote:
Im suprised you havent reminded me what night I agreed to this, it might of been when you were singing. Nothing suprises me, what a fool I am though. I usually sing this with Molls at home on singstar, she's already turned me down for a duet

You mean the night when i was alone at the karaoke bar?
What a awesome nigt that was :3

No, I don't need an attitude adjustment. You just need to fuck off.

2010-07-15 05:36:04

#16

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Eifa wrote:
1927 wrote:
Im suprised you havent reminded me what night I agreed to this, it might of been when you were singing. Nothing suprises me, what a fool I am though. I usually sing this with Molls at home on singstar, she's already turned me down for a duet
You mean the night when i was alone at the karaoke bar?
What a awesome nigt that was :3

Yeah Im sure it was then, I must of been pissed to agree and I was that night as I was dj'ing down the club. I fell asleep on the bog, woke up and fell over as my elbows had deadened my legs

2010-07-15 05:52:20

#17

Ty: Mass Media Casualty; +2,398|7168|Noizyland

Just go up to the biggest, tougest, meanest looking guy and say "I want you to make a woman out of me" in your best slutty voice.

It won't help you be Petula Clarke but he may hit you hard enough that you'll think you are... or it'll just knock you out, in which case make sure you do this before your Cricket Club's thing. Being knocked unconcious is a fairly valid excuse.

[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon

2010-07-15 05:54:03

#18

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

hahaha yeah thats one way of wriggling out of it. I got a feeling they gonna say 'he enjoying it a bit too much' when I get dressed up.

2010-07-15 06:10:52

#19

Dilbert_X: The X stands for; +1,820|6499|eXtreme to the maX

Just shave your legs and find a brightly coloured PVC mackintosh (the coat, not the computer), add a wig and you're done.

Fuck Israel

2010-07-15 06:16:17

#20

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Dilbert_X wrote:
Just shave your legs and find a brightly coloured PVC mackintosh (the coat, not the computer), add a wig and you're done.

I need help with doing a song and dance dressed as Petula Clark.

This wasnt 'Help Dilbert crack one off'

I have mentioned above I aint shaving my legs and wont be. I'd rather wear a mini skirt and boots than a Mac. I do like the PVC idea though, easily cleaned then eh? Will deffo need a wig, need one anyway even when I aint kareoking

2010-07-15 07:01:22

#21

Metal-Eater-GR: I can haz titanium paancakez?; +490|6666

No-no don't shave your legs... hairy legs with a skirt add to the hilarious factor
Tbh yeah you should expect people laughing and giving you shit about it, but you're doing it for the lulz so why should you care?

2010-07-15 07:12:30

#22

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

I dont care how I look just how I sound.

2010-07-15 07:14:33

#23

bugz: Fission Mailed; +3,311|6705

Know anybody with a machine that will autotune your voice? You could be a Petula Clarke T-Pain.

Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/ebug122

2010-07-15 08:50:13

#24

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|7067|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

ebug9 wrote:
Know anybody with a machine that will autotune your voice? You could be a Petula Clarke T-Pain.

Fucking love the sound of that Buggy m8. I cant see it happening though.

BF2S Forums Help me dress like a woman

Metal-Eater-GR wrote:

ghettoperson wrote:

1927 wrote:

Eifa wrote:

1927 wrote:

Dilbert_X wrote:

ebug9 wrote:

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