To ssn m8 lls
o
♥
Nah just kidding, Simon Levanthal doesn't do it for me anymore, gotta wait til Jim White is on lls!!
Getting confused lol, adam levanthal, simon whatever the fuck his name is.
wot
♥
idkmybffjill
wot
♥
whoa, £30m bid from Liverpoo for Andy Carroll rejected?
♥
How much do Newcastle think they can get for him?
He's good but not worth £30m lol
He's good but not worth £30m lol
i know yeah, that's brave rejecting such a big bid
♥
Daniel (dogshit lol) Sturridge apparently going Bolton on loan, Torres is definitely going Chelsea then.
Huh? Trade deadline or something going on today?
Yes, sober up you dirty bastard! (How was the stag do btw)
transfer noob
this guy
this guy
♥
Uno secundo. Lemme copypaste what I just typed.Sturgeon wrote:
Yes, sober up you dirty bastard! (How was the stag do btw)
crazy foreigners
♥
Ultra's big night(s) out
Ok long story long.
Day 1.
I'm counting IBM Blades on a quiet friday morning with my co-worker. He suddenly gets a call from our buddies working across the street that a cup of coffee would be nice. Ok, sure why not. I'm wondering a bit when my buddy moves his lappy away from the floor where we were checking the inventory and unplugs it. Meh, prolly nothing. So the guys are there. Let's go in and have a cup. One minute later the coffee place door opens and the rest of the guys storm in. Ohhhh boi... Here we go. Me gets blindfolded and put in a cab. A few mins later we stop and I get to stand outside for a couple minutes until they bring me inside. I'm starting to know where we are and what's gonna happen. I get moved to a locker room.
After a couple minutes of listening to more "scary shit" from my buddies I get the scarf off my eyes. Guys are grinning at me like there's not going to be another opportunity like that again. I knew it! Goalie gear in front of me. I'm so gonna get bruises... Guys help me with the armor and the pads and then we wait some more. After I see no jersey in the bag I get tossed a goddamn rivalteam jersey at me. Noooo fucking way am I wearing that. I was wrong. Yes fucking way I was. It was a fan jersey from the nineties sized L or something. 3 guys barely got it pulled on me. I looked like a huge sausage stuffed in mini hotdog clothing. I couldn't bend my arms properly form my elbows even.
There I am sitting with that Alain Roy's (Patrick Roy's younger brother) ugly jersey of the rival team on me waiting for something to happen when the goalie coach of the team I work for on my spare time walks in. The first thing he says is good job guys, you managed to put the pads on the wrong legs. Off I go to the ice to get damaged. The other goalie of the team comes up to me and laughs pretty good at me for the jersey. I then get to stop pucks for 10 minutes shot by pro athletes. It felt like an hour. I got two nice bruises on my arms which still hurt and some memory of the coach yelling me constantly to get my ass more down since I was almost standing fully up between the pipes. The coach told them to go easy on me (which was a damn good thing!) but he himself takes one shot on which I had to use my Matrix skills pretty much on since the puck was coming muy fast right at my head. I'm gonna have a field day pestering him after the season on the cruise. Or then it's just the other way round. But goddammit it was fun! Too bad the pads were on the wrong legs so I couldn't drop down without the pads rolling around my legs.
Pt.2
We leave the hockey arena and go to the centre of the town for a few beers. After a couple ones and reading some trivial pursuit questions we leave. I get given 20EUR and told to go to a food hall in Helsinki. I had to buy a pear, a yellow turnip, a beetroot and some salad I don't remember. I hop on the tram and get to the place in few mins. I find all the stuff from the 3 first counters which was pretty nice since I forgot to go through the ingredients in my head at one point and almost traded something to a carrot. I even got the salad for free after I told the girl behind the counter why I am buying the stuff in the first place. I get out and hop on the next tram and go to a restaurant where my bestman works at. Some of the guys were already waiting there and we get some more beers. The rest of the guys come after a moment and the next event starts. The whole group get's to prepare a meal from start to finnish with a top notch chef watching over us and giving instructions as we prepare "my last communion" as the printed menu put it. The meal was pure awesome with a big big tenderloin steak and whatnot. Ofcourse I got to serve the plates for the guys and didn't drop a thing. Yay. We then left for a sauna on the top floor of a hotel nearby. After some sauna and more beer we left for a bar. After the third tray of shots/drinks I blacked out for a few hours. Apparently we got tossed out after I emptied the contents of my belly on the floor. Ups... I come to when me and a couple other guys are walking in the middle of Helsinki and I'm starting to get pissed off since I don't have my own jacket on and the one I had on belonged to my friend. And it was as good as having a tshirt on. I was so drunk the guard at McD's even didn't let me in when we wen't to get something to eat. After I almost go get a cab without having my wallet on me the guys decide it's best to go to the hotel. I pass out and wake up at probably 10 am just to notice they're not done with me yet.
Day 2.
I feel like shit. I get a few forkfulls of bacon and a couple small sausages and some scrambled eggs in me. I go back to the room to sleep it off. I got to sleep for 15min and it starts again. The guys had bought me jeans, a jacket and a shirt and a hat from the ugly-bin. They were all laughing in tears watching me stuff the jacket inside the jeans and leaving the fly open for extra lulz. We go outside and I get a pair of ski's given to me. Oh fun. We get a cab to a karaoke bar. The guys make me ski for a hundred meters or so on the sandy sidewalk and then they let me in. Ofcourse since I had a pair of ski's with me I had to sing a song made by the former olympic winning skijumper Matti Nykanen. Some 60+ woman decides to sing a song for me since apparently I was so cute. Hrrrr... I even get a kiss on the cheek. I didn't get a number but she told to come to the bar and find her if my marriage didn't work out. Out we go again and to a nearby restaurant to eat a bit. After that we go back out and the guys make me ski a very steep hill down they spot near a sport field. I'm gonna upload that video at some point when I get it. I got 2-3 meters forward and fall over. I roll down the hill like a ragdoll in Flatout 2. The other ski was left behind in the middle of the hill. We go to another pub and sit there for a while. The guys are starting to split one by one since their own wives were starting to call and demand they get home. 4 of us stayed there and I was starting to check at the clock and asking when we're leaving for the hockey game. They said we didn't have any tickets. Buuulllshiiiit. Ofcourse you have tickets, don't lie. They said ok let's go then. Got a cab to the arena and I walz right in with the ugly clothes on me and surprise. We don't have any tickets. Hmm... Have no fear! I'll go talk a few for us. I go bang the office door and the girls come open and at first they look at me like who the fuck are you until they recognize me and start to laugh. I got plenty of that during the day for some weird reason. I get 4 tickets in exchange for zipping up the fly. Off we go and watch the game which ends in the penalties for the home team. We go back to the hotel and make one more effort on going out but decide to call it a night after the first drink at 9 pm or something like that. I even remembered to go get my expensive jacket back from the bar I made a mess in. Luckily the bouncer was a different guy than the one last night so I took the jacket and left very fast. I didn't get any sleep during that night. It was like Dr. Gonzo in Fear and loathing in Las Vegas. I had the fear. Big time.
Yesterday.
At noon yesterday I hopped in a cab and left home. My hands started to go completely numb at one point and when I tried to tell the driver where to turn I almost freaked out since my face went also numb. My hands cramped so bad I couldn't write anything but a few circles on the receipt. The driver was kind enough to carry the bags to my door. I had to ring our neighbours doorbell and ask him to open the door for me with our spare key since I had no clue in which vomit smelling bag my keys were in. Poor guy was prolly a bit freaked out himself. I prolly got a one hour nap during yesterday. I tried to go to sleep at midnight but failed. As the soon to be wife didn't get any sleep either due to my roll on the sheets 500 race I went to the couch. I watched Goodfellas and finally got some sleep at 6am. I still feel horrible. I didn't go to work today since I was in no shape to drive due to no sleep and vomiting half a dozen times.
But ha! I didn't shit/piss myself.
Ok long story long.
Day 1.
I'm counting IBM Blades on a quiet friday morning with my co-worker. He suddenly gets a call from our buddies working across the street that a cup of coffee would be nice. Ok, sure why not. I'm wondering a bit when my buddy moves his lappy away from the floor where we were checking the inventory and unplugs it. Meh, prolly nothing. So the guys are there. Let's go in and have a cup. One minute later the coffee place door opens and the rest of the guys storm in. Ohhhh boi... Here we go. Me gets blindfolded and put in a cab. A few mins later we stop and I get to stand outside for a couple minutes until they bring me inside. I'm starting to know where we are and what's gonna happen. I get moved to a locker room.
After a couple minutes of listening to more "scary shit" from my buddies I get the scarf off my eyes. Guys are grinning at me like there's not going to be another opportunity like that again. I knew it! Goalie gear in front of me. I'm so gonna get bruises... Guys help me with the armor and the pads and then we wait some more. After I see no jersey in the bag I get tossed a goddamn rivalteam jersey at me. Noooo fucking way am I wearing that. I was wrong. Yes fucking way I was. It was a fan jersey from the nineties sized L or something. 3 guys barely got it pulled on me. I looked like a huge sausage stuffed in mini hotdog clothing. I couldn't bend my arms properly form my elbows even.
There I am sitting with that Alain Roy's (Patrick Roy's younger brother) ugly jersey of the rival team on me waiting for something to happen when the goalie coach of the team I work for on my spare time walks in. The first thing he says is good job guys, you managed to put the pads on the wrong legs. Off I go to the ice to get damaged. The other goalie of the team comes up to me and laughs pretty good at me for the jersey. I then get to stop pucks for 10 minutes shot by pro athletes. It felt like an hour. I got two nice bruises on my arms which still hurt and some memory of the coach yelling me constantly to get my ass more down since I was almost standing fully up between the pipes. The coach told them to go easy on me (which was a damn good thing!) but he himself takes one shot on which I had to use my Matrix skills pretty much on since the puck was coming muy fast right at my head. I'm gonna have a field day pestering him after the season on the cruise. Or then it's just the other way round. But goddammit it was fun! Too bad the pads were on the wrong legs so I couldn't drop down without the pads rolling around my legs.
Pt.2
We leave the hockey arena and go to the centre of the town for a few beers. After a couple ones and reading some trivial pursuit questions we leave. I get given 20EUR and told to go to a food hall in Helsinki. I had to buy a pear, a yellow turnip, a beetroot and some salad I don't remember. I hop on the tram and get to the place in few mins. I find all the stuff from the 3 first counters which was pretty nice since I forgot to go through the ingredients in my head at one point and almost traded something to a carrot. I even got the salad for free after I told the girl behind the counter why I am buying the stuff in the first place. I get out and hop on the next tram and go to a restaurant where my bestman works at. Some of the guys were already waiting there and we get some more beers. The rest of the guys come after a moment and the next event starts. The whole group get's to prepare a meal from start to finnish with a top notch chef watching over us and giving instructions as we prepare "my last communion" as the printed menu put it. The meal was pure awesome with a big big tenderloin steak and whatnot. Ofcourse I got to serve the plates for the guys and didn't drop a thing. Yay. We then left for a sauna on the top floor of a hotel nearby. After some sauna and more beer we left for a bar. After the third tray of shots/drinks I blacked out for a few hours. Apparently we got tossed out after I emptied the contents of my belly on the floor. Ups... I come to when me and a couple other guys are walking in the middle of Helsinki and I'm starting to get pissed off since I don't have my own jacket on and the one I had on belonged to my friend. And it was as good as having a tshirt on. I was so drunk the guard at McD's even didn't let me in when we wen't to get something to eat. After I almost go get a cab without having my wallet on me the guys decide it's best to go to the hotel. I pass out and wake up at probably 10 am just to notice they're not done with me yet.
Day 2.
I feel like shit. I get a few forkfulls of bacon and a couple small sausages and some scrambled eggs in me. I go back to the room to sleep it off. I got to sleep for 15min and it starts again. The guys had bought me jeans, a jacket and a shirt and a hat from the ugly-bin. They were all laughing in tears watching me stuff the jacket inside the jeans and leaving the fly open for extra lulz. We go outside and I get a pair of ski's given to me. Oh fun. We get a cab to a karaoke bar. The guys make me ski for a hundred meters or so on the sandy sidewalk and then they let me in. Ofcourse since I had a pair of ski's with me I had to sing a song made by the former olympic winning skijumper Matti Nykanen. Some 60+ woman decides to sing a song for me since apparently I was so cute. Hrrrr... I even get a kiss on the cheek. I didn't get a number but she told to come to the bar and find her if my marriage didn't work out. Out we go again and to a nearby restaurant to eat a bit. After that we go back out and the guys make me ski a very steep hill down they spot near a sport field. I'm gonna upload that video at some point when I get it. I got 2-3 meters forward and fall over. I roll down the hill like a ragdoll in Flatout 2. The other ski was left behind in the middle of the hill. We go to another pub and sit there for a while. The guys are starting to split one by one since their own wives were starting to call and demand they get home. 4 of us stayed there and I was starting to check at the clock and asking when we're leaving for the hockey game. They said we didn't have any tickets. Buuulllshiiiit. Ofcourse you have tickets, don't lie. They said ok let's go then. Got a cab to the arena and I walz right in with the ugly clothes on me and surprise. We don't have any tickets. Hmm... Have no fear! I'll go talk a few for us. I go bang the office door and the girls come open and at first they look at me like who the fuck are you until they recognize me and start to laugh. I got plenty of that during the day for some weird reason. I get 4 tickets in exchange for zipping up the fly. Off we go and watch the game which ends in the penalties for the home team. We go back to the hotel and make one more effort on going out but decide to call it a night after the first drink at 9 pm or something like that. I even remembered to go get my expensive jacket back from the bar I made a mess in. Luckily the bouncer was a different guy than the one last night so I took the jacket and left very fast. I didn't get any sleep during that night. It was like Dr. Gonzo in Fear and loathing in Las Vegas. I had the fear. Big time.
Yesterday.
At noon yesterday I hopped in a cab and left home. My hands started to go completely numb at one point and when I tried to tell the driver where to turn I almost freaked out since my face went also numb. My hands cramped so bad I couldn't write anything but a few circles on the receipt. The driver was kind enough to carry the bags to my door. I had to ring our neighbours doorbell and ask him to open the door for me with our spare key since I had no clue in which vomit smelling bag my keys were in. Poor guy was prolly a bit freaked out himself. I prolly got a one hour nap during yesterday. I tried to go to sleep at midnight but failed. As the soon to be wife didn't get any sleep either due to my roll on the sheets 500 race I went to the couch. I watched Goodfellas and finally got some sleep at 6am. I still feel horrible. I didn't go to work today since I was in no shape to drive due to no sleep and vomiting half a dozen times.
But ha! I didn't shit/piss myself.
Teal dear.
My state was founded by Batman. Your opinion is invalid.
lol sounds fun
All that without shitting or pissing yourself. Bravo
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Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me
Skills Funky - Please give the karma to ya mates, ok you might not of shit yaself but you did throw chunks.
How convenient, that's what I should be doing right now Class, damn it.FloppY_ wrote:
ZzZz...
Imma boredDesertFox- wrote:
How convenient, that's what I should be doing right now Class, damn it.FloppY_ wrote:
ZzZz...
Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me