dik
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getting code 43 errors from a new graphics card
#fwp
#fwp
I am having trouble sleeping but my doctors don't trust me with sleep medication.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin
^-you're welcome & that will be a $20 co-pay. I'll be billing your insurance for the consultation.
^-you're welcome & that will be a $20 co-pay. I'll be billing your insurance for the consultation.
I stood in line for four hours. They better give me a Wal-Mart gift card, or something. - Rodney Booker, Job Fair attendee.
I'm writing a short erotica story and plan on submitting it to Literotica. I can't talk or get advice about it with anyone I know because I am embarrassed of my sexual fetishes.
You can tell us. Post a draft and we'll review.Macbeth wrote:
I'm writing a short erotica story and plan on submitting it to Literotica. I can't talk or get advice about it with anyone I know because I am embarrassed of my sexual fetishes.
My writing really sucks but it is an erotic story and not a work of art so yeah. I'll post the introduction paragraph and the first sentence of the second paragraph but after that I can't post anything except for maybe a short excerpt later on. The second paragraph will give away some of the plot of which I am embarrassed of so yeah I know my writing sucks and this is a rough draft so suck it
When not with friends or at work, Crissy would spend her time day dreaming about freshman year at UCLA. It took a tap on the shoulder to finally get the attention of the poolside 18 year old. Her mother, visibly shaken, told her daughter the sad news. Crissy’s grandfather had died. Crissy was never close with him, and only pretended to be upset so to not upset her mother more. Crissy’s mother then explained that the funeral and burial will happen in China. Since Crissy was not a hundred percent ethnic Chinese, and looked pretty much Filipino, her Chinese side of the family didn’t care much for her. Knowing this, Crissy’s mother decided it would be best to not take Crissy with her on her weeklong funeral trip to China. The young woman was outwardly saddened by this decision but secretly delighted.
After her mother retreated into their South California home, Crissy began to make plans for her weeklong vacation from her mother
Yes and I notice a bunch of the errors. "would spend" should be "spent" etc.
you used the word "Crissy" way too many times.Macbeth wrote:
My writing really sucks but it is an erotic story and not a work of art so yeah. I'll post the introduction paragraph and the first sentence of the second paragraph but after that I can't post anything except for maybe a short excerpt later on. The second paragraph will give away some of the plot of which I am embarrassed of so yeah I know my writing sucks and this is a rough draft so suck itWhen not with friends or at work, Crissy would spend her time day dreaming about freshman year at UCLA. It took a tap on the shoulder to finally get the attention of the poolside 18 year old. Her mother, visibly shaken, told her daughter the sad news. Crissy’s grandfather had died. Crissy was never close with him, and only pretended to be upset so to not upset her mother more. Crissy’s mother then explained that the funeral and burial will happen in China. Since Crissy was not a hundred percent ethnic Chinese, and looked pretty much Filipino, her Chinese side of the family didn’t care much for her. Knowing this, Crissy’s mother decided it would be best to not take Crissy with her on her weeklong funeral trip to China. The young woman was outwardly saddened by this decision but secretly delighted.
After her mother retreated into their South California home, Crissy began to make plans for her weeklong vacation from her mother
for a fatty you're a serious intellectual lightweight.
Yeah I know. I'm guessing I could cut down on the amount of Crissy in the first paragraph if I give her mother a name. I really don't care to name her though since her only part in the story is leaving for China for a week.
In the subsequent 6 paragraphs there are much much less 'Crissy and Crissy's' since the pace gets faster and there are named character.
In the subsequent 6 paragraphs there are much much less 'Crissy and Crissy's' since the pace gets faster and there are named character.
Not enough adjectives.
They're*Macbeth wrote:
In the subsequent 6 paragraphs there are much much less 'Crissy and Crissy's' since the pace gets faster and there are named character.
Shit Macbeth, get it together son.
there are more characters*
I keep getting errors when I try to edit post.
I keep getting errors when I try to edit post.
there are more named characters**
needs more bondage
and deeperMacbeth wrote:
the pace gets faster
crissy is a terrible name
I've found the mother of all siterips of my all-time favourite pornstar, on an obscure backwater of an obscure porn forum.
There's so much material I may have to hire a minion to download it all.
There's so much material I may have to hire a minion to download it all.
Fuck Israel
- globefish23
- sophisticated slacker
- +334|6610|Graz, Austria
Link or it doesn't exist.Dilbert_X wrote:
I've found the mother of all siterips of my all-time favourite pornstar, on an obscure backwater of an obscure porn forum.
There's so much material I may have to hire a minion to download it all.
Just as soon as I've downloaded it all.
I'm not having it spammed everywhere and closed.
I'm not having it spammed everywhere and closed.
Fuck Israel
Found an umbrella in my trunk. It is 90 degrees and sunny.
- globefish23
- sophisticated slacker
- +334|6610|Graz, Austria
And where's the problem?Macbeth wrote:
Found an umbrella in my trunk. It is 90 degrees and sunny.
That umbrella will provide a good amount of shade and also protect you from a small amount of UV rays.
Plus, for the tiny chance that it's starting to rain, or you get attacked by a dog/snake/madman, you are better equipped than with your bare hands.
Snoop Dogg being a Ravens fan is a huge surprise to me
