BF2S Forums First World Problems

You don't like eugenics, we get that, but everyone practices it.

I mean, why aren't people with downs syndrome or dwarfism just as dateable as everyone else?

No I think people with weird para-erotic relationships with cats are in a clear majority now and perfectly healthy.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2025-07-23 19:33:11)

I am literally walking around drunk in a casino. I am trying to find the exit. I cannot find the exit. Just endless slot. machines and store n

Tried trail running for the first time to see if I wanna do a race late October. Got stuck in a downpour/thunderstorm.

OK, one the one hand I admire your, uh, stickatitness.

Cats aren't really capricious, they're completely predictable if you understand their psychology.

How often is the litter tray changed? Should be daily at least, poops scooped out more often.

If the cat is 'extremely vocal' there's a good chance its asking for something which you're not providing.
Studies have been done and cats experiment and tailor their meow until they get the result they want.
Some cats are chatty, if they're yowling at you its because they think you're dumb or not listening.

What does the cat actually want? Food or interaction?

Mostly cats want about 10 minutes of robust playtime morning and night until they're murdered out, if they don't get it they'll bug you all day.
They might check up on you now and then but otherwise they won't care.

Otherwise they want food and that can be caused by a bad food schedule.
2-3 meals a day should be enough for the cat to be sated and sleep it off. More frequent smaller meals and they'll be permanently hungry and nagging for more food. Also no constant treats.

The best outcome is for the cat to have ~2 solid meals on a consistent schedule, and be in the situation where they have dry food available but don't scoff the lot as soon as its put down, then they're relaxed and not stressed that they don't know if they'll ever be fed again.
We achieved this with last cat, not really sure how. My sister has the current cat on five meals/day so the cycle perpetuates, still working on that.
UK cat could and did feed himself on rabbits and squirrels so was completely relaxed.

Allowing the cat bedroom door access is a bad halfway house which is not good for you or the cat. We've never had this, they've always been a few doors away, largely because we didn't want animal parts strewn all over the house, or the occasional live rabbit running around.
Access on-demand just makes them more demanding.
Either let them sleep on the bed or keep them well away.

The cat should be perfectly happy. I've set up a time-lapse camera to check on the cat, to see which of several sleeping places she prefers, she sleeps solidly through the night. With the last cat if I got up early and surprised him he was completely out for the count.
eg


Cats are crepuscular after all. A nightlight is helpful if there's no ambient light, cats can't in fact see in the dark and they can get upset if left in pitch black.

When you get up for breakfast they will be ready and dart through the door howling with an offended look, doesn't mean they're starving or they've been up all night pining, this is an act to remind you who is in charge.

If all else fails you can fly Jackson Galaxy in to deal with your cat, although its invariably about educating the owner, not the cat.
https://www.jacksongalaxy.com/

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2025-07-29 04:11:32)

^ LMAO

Currently training The Cat to manage my work inbox.



I mean, all she does is randomly smack the delete key but thats fine.

Some cats like to be involved in what you're doing, your apartment is their universe and you're the only being they interact with and are dependent on.
You can't really fault them for that.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2025-07-29 04:53:35)

Yes perfectly reasonable, the cat can adapt no problem and be perfectly happy, just needs to be done in the right way.

In relation to schedule, cats like a schedule, but for certain things they will push the envelope - so what is now 4am probably started a lot later and has steadily been pushed back.

From what I've seen cats don't really have a memory past a few weeks on exact timings, they will relearn, it can take a week or two.

We are currently going through the process of cutting down to one breakfast, when the cat was smaller two morning meals made sense, now it doesn't as she can eat the lot in one go.

Keeping them off the table is a trickier one, probably need to shoo them off for a good few months, maybe longer, and there will be lapses.
All our cats have grudgingly learned "hop it" is quickly followed by being lifted down, so its not worth their effort.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2025-07-29 07:25:24)

A girl owning a cat is a definite red line. I would be hesitant to date a girl with a dog even.

Owning a small dog or cat is halfway towards parenthood. Dating a proto single mom. Did you really pioneer being a passport bro just to be a step dad for something that isn't even your species?

Last edited by SuperJail Warden (2025-07-29 08:31:53)

Dilbert_X wrote:

Also cats don't understand chastisement unless its instant and tied to what they're doing.
So you can clap your hands, click your fingers, yell if necessary (they will learn "No" but compliance is variable) beyond a few seconds and they've forgotten why its happening - Then its all over and they want to be your friend again.

this is encouraging to hear because frankly i think ive scared the living bejeezus out of this cat while living here — and i don’t want that actually. true, i’ve never grown up with pets (my father kept 6 rhodesian ridgebacks in a kennel), but it gives me no joy at all to upset my fiancée (whom obviously i adore) and scare her mogg. i don’t want to be that person. in fact, during the daytime, when she’s at the office, i make effort to stroke the cat and be kind.

BUT i just won’t accept subsisting on 4 hours sleep a night. if it were our first born son (and the heir of my gloucestershire country pile), of course i would accept the howling and yammering. but a fucking capricious black cat annoys me … i want to be kind but i’ve literally paid about £400k into this 2 bedroom apartment. and im starting to question my value-added benefit.

Last edited by uziq (2025-07-29 23:26:23)

I've only ever like done cat. Cat people have a reputation for a reason.

OK so:

You need to change the morning routine so you can sleep. No question about that.
So what does the cat want first thing? Food or attention or both?
Its instinctive for them to get up early for hunting prey which also gets up early but they can adapt.
Pandering to them too much reinforces their behaviour, its better to ignore them while you put the kettle on at least.
Can your partner get up and sit with them on the sofa instead of the bed? Then the bedroom is not the end-game.
Then we're onto different zones - the food zone, the play zone, the quiet zone etc. Once they've twigged the cat will lead you into the zone depending on what they want.

Shut the cat two doors away, get up at progressively later times over a period of weeks and 9 times out of 10 they will adapt.
They might not be happy about it, you might have trouble putting them to bed which you'll have to navigate but thats too bad.
Exhausting them with a bit of playtime before bed, I have to drop some 'escape snacks' in the cats food bowl to make it out of the door but she's getting better.
Most likely they'll be fine overnight, wake up 5 mins before you do and then put on an outraged act. You can set up cameras if you want to.
A small number will sit by the door or a feeder for hours but I think its pretty rare. The cat isn't bugging you all night so I think the risk is low.
If you start to see behavioural issues, day long sulks, destructiveness, peeing in your shoes etc then you'll need to rethink.

If the cat doesn't want to be outdoors then no need to push it. Cats generally have a territory which they expand incrementally if they choose. They are not happy to be thrown into completely alien territory unlike dogs, this is stressful for them. If they're not even interested in the balcony then they have enough territory.
Add being attacked by a dog, bolting into traffic, picking up a disease or parasite - ticks, fleas worms, there's no real reason to inflict the outdoors on an indoor cat. Unless you think you might need to do a road trip or evacuate for some reason - eg Godzilla attack - and they need the training  there's no real point. Just have a carrier, or two.

Cats have a complete range of personalities, some are bombastic, some won't say boo to a goose, its not uncommon for them to be fixated on a mother-cat figure.
They can become long-term scared of an individual or person-type, the last cat did not like men at all and took years to recover. Its unlikely one or two incidents, as long as there's no physical violence, would have an impact.
Perversely cats tend to put the most effort into the people who like them least, they need to be on OK terms with everyone in the household. So my father yells at the cat and she always chooses his lap.

There's plenty on the internet
https://www.preventivevet.com/cats/stop … he-morning
https://caticles.com/cat-routines/
https://www.petplace.com/article/cats/p … t-schedule

It usually boils down to
Nice food
Playtime
Consistency - schedule and your behaviour

Probably the hard part is going to be the cat is not going to enjoy change and your partner won't want to see the cat slightly upset.
Probably it will all work out fine.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2025-07-30 03:41:22)

Two extremes