EE Chats: New Testaments

2015-08-21 11:04:11

#176

Pocshy2.0: Member; +23|3763

So in an hour I'm off to a small town in Southern Ontario to visit my old Portuguese grandma who wants to have us for a BBQ. The problem is she only BBQs fish (see reference to Portuguese citizenship), and I really want a steak. Which in itself is not a big deal; she'll make it. But it will be dry and overcooked. Dryer than a nun's vagina. And I'm sure as fuck not man enough to hold the BBQ tongs. I have no laid enough brick or immigrated to enough countries to be man enough to wield the tongs of power.

So, knowing this, my question is the following: what's the easiest way to dispose of an overcooked rubber ass steak without offending an elderly Portuguese woman?

Last edited by Pocshy2.0 (2015-08-21 11:07:30)

2015-08-21 11:16:53

#177

DrunkFace: Germans did 911; +427|7073|Disaster Free Zone

eat the fish

2015-08-21 11:24:46

#178

DesertFox-: The very model of a modern major general; +796|7077|United States of America

DrunkFace wrote:
eat the fish

2015-08-21 11:24:52

#179

Pocshy2.0: Member; +23|3763

DrunkFace wrote:
eat the fish

Compelling argument. I see your point, and the general thrust of your logic. If I give up on my own desires, I will be fulfilled by meeting the desires of others. Inspiring. Brevity really made this hit hard. I'll be in my lounge chair ruminating on this deep and insightful post if you need me.

2015-08-21 11:33:25

#180

DrunkFace: Germans did 911; +427|7073|Disaster Free Zone

I'm sorry, you want a steak but are too embarrassed or incompetent to cook yourself although you 'know' that it wont be cooked how you want it by someone else and will be forced to throw it away.

So option A. waste money and time getting a steak, waste your grandmothers time cooking said steak and then go hungry.
or B. Eat the fucking fish.

2015-08-21 11:44:49

#181

Pocshy2.0: Member; +23|3763

DrunkFace wrote:
I'm sorry, you want a steak but are too embarrassed or incompetent to cook yourself although you 'know' that it wont be cooked how you want it by someone else and will be forced to throw it away.

So option A. waste money and time getting a steak, waste your grandmothers time cooking said steak and then go hungry.
or B. Eat the fucking fish.

I pride myself on the degree of my incompetence. But we'll leave that. I was really more-so hoping for some social situation guru to come along with the elusive C.) option to potentially 1.) get me the tongs 2.) alter the steak quality 3.) transcend hunger altogether. Sub options of 1.) include 1a.) slight of hand 1b.) smooth talking 1c.) feigned illness requiring immediate medium-rare steak. 2.) offers up such potential as 2a.) buy thick steaks to influence doneness or maybe 2b.) attempt to alter the temperature of the BBQ. 3.) is a slightly more difficult proposition potentially necessitating conversion to Buddhism.

Also, take it easy man, you fucking got too involved too quickly.

Last edited by Pocshy2.0 (2015-08-21 11:45:49)

2015-08-21 13:10:01

#182

Jay: Bork! Bork! Bork!; +2,006|5750|London, England

Pocshy2.0 wrote:
DrunkFace wrote:
I'm sorry, you want a steak but are too embarrassed or incompetent to cook yourself although you 'know' that it wont be cooked how you want it by someone else and will be forced to throw it away.

So option A. waste money and time getting a steak, waste your grandmothers time cooking said steak and then go hungry.
or B. Eat the fucking fish.
I pride myself on the degree of my incompetence. But we'll leave that. I was really more-so hoping for some social situation guru to come along with the elusive C.) option to potentially 1.) get me the tongs 2.) alter the steak quality 3.) transcend hunger altogether. Sub options of 1.) include 1a.) slight of hand 1b.) smooth talking 1c.) feigned illness requiring immediate medium-rare steak. 2.) offers up such potential as 2a.) buy thick steaks to influence doneness or maybe 2b.) attempt to alter the temperature of the BBQ. 3.) is a slightly more difficult proposition potentially necessitating conversion to Buddhism.

Also, take it easy man, you fucking got too involved too quickly.

Bring beef jerky instead. Then it will already be dried out, but tasty.

"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat

2015-08-21 14:18:52

#183

mtb0minime: minimember; +2,418|7047

America gets a lot of shit for the whole inches, feet, miles kinds of measurements, and rightfully so. But what the fuck is the point of stones? Why can't it just all be pounds? None of this 14 stone 5 pound bullshit. Fuck you Inglind.

2015-08-21 16:11:45

#184

DesertFox-: The very model of a modern major general; +796|7077|United States of America

As a guy who weighs 10 stone, I have no issue with it.

2015-08-21 22:53:44

#185

Surfdaddy: Post limited. Contact Admin to Be Promoted.; +2|3627

Fish is delicious. Be nice to your gma

2015-08-23 12:04:13

#186

pirana6: Go Cougs!; +697|6683|Washington St.

Guys, jordy nelson tore his acl

pirana6 wrote:
that's why you don't have a fantasy draft until after the last preseason game

2015-08-23 12:08:05

#187

RTHKI: mmmf mmmf mmmf; +1,745|7129|Cinncinatti

who

2015-08-23 12:17:37

#188

pirana6: Go Cougs!; +697|6683|Washington St.

sports

2015-08-23 13:08:32

#189

DrunkFace: Germans did 911; +427|7073|Disaster Free Zone

what

2015-08-23 19:35:24

#190

SuperJail Warden: Gone Forever; +657|4112

Did anyone watch the new walking dead spinoff? I never liked the original one but gave this one a chance.

This one is stupid too. I will give it a few more episodes though. Stupid series otherwise.

2015-08-23 20:09:29

#191

War Man: Australians are hermaphrodites.; +564|7106|Purplicious Wisconsin

If you guys were to write a scholarship thank you letter to the donor(s), what exactly would you write in it? Because I am not good at this.

The irony of guns, is that they can save lives.

2015-08-23 21:46:53

#192

RTHKI: mmmf mmmf mmmf; +1,745|7129|Cinncinatti

2015-08-23 23:42:53

#193

Adams_BJ: Russian warship, go fuck yourself; +2,055|7015|Little Bentcock

War Man wrote:
If you guys were to write a scholarship thank you letter to the donor(s), what exactly would you write in it? Because I am not good at this.

SHould ask you teachers and maybe your career advisers.

2015-08-24 00:06:13

#194

globefish23: sophisticated slacker; +334|6716|Graz, Austria

coke wrote:
War Man wrote:
coke wrote:
Cancel the new films warman has spoken.
Nah I'll accept it as it isn't a deal breaker for me, just saying I like the old helmets better.
The whole point is the setting is 30 years after Return of the Jedi, so stuff has you know changed.

2015-08-24 00:09:10

#195

globefish23: sophisticated slacker; +334|6716|Graz, Austria

SuperJail Warden wrote:
At least you watch sports. I can't stand any non-combat sports. So whenever people start talking about football or baseball or something I just stay quiet and politely listen while telling myself "at least I know who the U.N. Secretary is. That's useful. I'm useful".

Kurt Waldheim, best UNSG!
I still know him from the picture in the (federal school) classrooms, when he was president.

2015-08-24 07:16:29

#196

Pocshy2.0: Member; +23|3763

What a turn that BBQ took. Tuna steaks. The ultimate compromise. What an exciting life I lead.

2015-08-24 08:01:10

#197

SuperJail Warden: Gone Forever; +657|4112

Slow the fuck down, Pocshy. You aren't going to make it to 30 if you keep up this crazy lifestyle.

2015-08-24 08:49:02

#198

Pocshy2.0: Member; +23|3763

I know man. I started breathing heavy, got the weird smirk of relief that wouldn't leave my face, and felt the levity of endorphins washing away my worries. If someone doesn't sit me down soon I'll be riding a Harley by next week.

2015-08-24 10:17:01

#199

KEN-JENNINGS: I am all that is MOD!; +2,990|7024|949

Pocshy2.0 wrote:
What a turn that BBQ took. Tuna steaks. The ultimate compromise. What an exciting life I lead.

hope it was just slightly seared. Cooked tuna is bad tuna

2015-08-24 10:33:06

#200

Pocshy2.0: Member; +23|3763

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:
Pocshy2.0 wrote:
What a turn that BBQ took. Tuna steaks. The ultimate compromise. What an exciting life I lead.
hope it was just slightly seared. Cooked tuna is bad tuna

Thankfully she admitted she didn't know how to make a tuna steak, so she let me take charge...for the most part. For a brief second while she got the salad I got to hold the tongs. Happiness has a new face.

Last edited by Pocshy2.0 (2015-08-24 10:33:18)

BF2S Forums EE Chats: New Testaments

DrunkFace wrote:

DrunkFace wrote:

DrunkFace wrote:

Pocshy2.0 wrote:

DrunkFace wrote:

pirana6 wrote:

War Man wrote:

coke wrote:

War Man wrote:

coke wrote:

SuperJail Warden wrote:

Pocshy2.0 wrote:

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:

Pocshy2.0 wrote:

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