Helen Clark (Auckland Airport, 11/5/06): “Man, these stockings are making my testicles so itchy.”
The Dalai Lama (Geneva Airport VIP Bar, 14/7/06): “Baby, I guarantee I that I can make you reach nirvana…
twice.”
Naomi Robson-Tarantino (West Papua Air-strip, 14/9/06): “What the f*** do you mean we have to have
“journalist” visas, you c***-stain f***-knuckle c**t? We work for ‘Today F***ing Tonight’! This is about
WeeWee or whatever the f*** his name is, not me!”
George W. Bush (Andrews Air-Force Base, 6/6/06): “Hey, Cheney, what’s up? Don’t shoot! Haha, just joking.
Say Dick, you know what’s a funny word? Cockpit. Haha, cockpit. Remind me to tell Condi. Don’t you go
having a heart attack. Cockpit, haha. Gold.”
Mel Gibson (LAX, 3/4/06): “Enough is enough! I want the motherf***ing Jews off the motherf***ing plane!”
(Canberra, 18/3/06):
Peter Costello: “But I’ve made plans. You said I could have the aisle seat. We had a deal!”
John Howard: “What deal?”
Kim Beazley (Perth—QANTAS check-in desk, 18/9/06): “Write this down. I want seats on the plane to be bigger.
I’m a big man. Australians are big people. It goes against Australian Values to have small seats on planes.”
Steve Vizard (Tullamarine, 4/7/06): “Keep this on the down low, and don’t ask me how I know this, but I’d sell
your Telstra shares before you get on that plane. SELL SELL SELL!”
Pope Benedict XVI (Rome Airport, 15/9/06): “Okay, so, a Muslim walks into bar...”
Archbishop Arinze: “Your Holiness, you’ve told me this one before.”
Pope Benedict XVI: “No! I swear! It’s a new one!”
(LAX 1/5/06)
‘Screech’ from ‘Saved by the Bell’: “Hey, I think someone just recognised me!”
‘Horshach’ from ‘Welcome Back, Kotter’: “No, I think he recognised me.”
Passer-by: “Excuse me, buddy, I think you sat in gum.”
Screech: “Thanks, you want an autograph?”
Passer-by: “Absolutely not.”
Horshach: “What about me, you want an autograph from me?”
Passer-by: “No. And stop touching my son.”
The Dalai Lama (Geneva Airport VIP Bar, 14/7/06): “Baby, I guarantee I that I can make you reach nirvana…
twice.”
Naomi Robson-Tarantino (West Papua Air-strip, 14/9/06): “What the f*** do you mean we have to have
“journalist” visas, you c***-stain f***-knuckle c**t? We work for ‘Today F***ing Tonight’! This is about
WeeWee or whatever the f*** his name is, not me!”
George W. Bush (Andrews Air-Force Base, 6/6/06): “Hey, Cheney, what’s up? Don’t shoot! Haha, just joking.
Say Dick, you know what’s a funny word? Cockpit. Haha, cockpit. Remind me to tell Condi. Don’t you go
having a heart attack. Cockpit, haha. Gold.”
Mel Gibson (LAX, 3/4/06): “Enough is enough! I want the motherf***ing Jews off the motherf***ing plane!”
(Canberra, 18/3/06):
Peter Costello: “But I’ve made plans. You said I could have the aisle seat. We had a deal!”
John Howard: “What deal?”
Kim Beazley (Perth—QANTAS check-in desk, 18/9/06): “Write this down. I want seats on the plane to be bigger.
I’m a big man. Australians are big people. It goes against Australian Values to have small seats on planes.”
Steve Vizard (Tullamarine, 4/7/06): “Keep this on the down low, and don’t ask me how I know this, but I’d sell
your Telstra shares before you get on that plane. SELL SELL SELL!”
Pope Benedict XVI (Rome Airport, 15/9/06): “Okay, so, a Muslim walks into bar...”
Archbishop Arinze: “Your Holiness, you’ve told me this one before.”
Pope Benedict XVI: “No! I swear! It’s a new one!”
(LAX 1/5/06)
‘Screech’ from ‘Saved by the Bell’: “Hey, I think someone just recognised me!”
‘Horshach’ from ‘Welcome Back, Kotter’: “No, I think he recognised me.”
Passer-by: “Excuse me, buddy, I think you sat in gum.”
Screech: “Thanks, you want an autograph?”
Passer-by: “Absolutely not.”
Horshach: “What about me, you want an autograph from me?”
Passer-by: “No. And stop touching my son.”
