jamesb
Joined BF2s in November 2005
+133|7180|Doncaster, England
I thought it was funny, just sharing.

One Man Writes:
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I've never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
russ)=spetsnaz
Banned
+131|6911|the guy in the hind on gator
lol
UnknownRanger
Squirrels, natures little speedbump.
+610|6801|Cali

russ)=spetsnaz wrote:

lol
OmniDeath
~
+726|7100

been posted before, still funny though.
RoosterCantrell
Goodbye :)
+399|6936|Somewhere else

Thats...fucking....awesome!
FlamingPhenix
I'm in ya base, drinking ya booze
+44|7012|Behind you, with a knife
teh win
r'Eeee
That's how I roll, BITCH!
+311|6904

Nice Nice!
Simon
basically
+838|7114|UK
funny but old
Naughty_Om
Im Ron Burgundy?
+355|7089|USA
This is older than jesus riding a dinosaur



ahem...

i said THIS IS OLDER than jesus riding a dinosaur..



*waits for the pic
avman633
Member
+116|6820
lol that was the funniest story i have ever read
Bell
Frosties > Cornflakes
+362|7005|UK

lmao, I so have to remember this, nice on Mr Bell!

Martyn
OmniDeath
~
+726|7100

Naughty_Om wrote:

This is older than jesus riding a dinosaur



ahem...

i said THIS IS OLDER than jesus riding a dinosaur..



*waits for the pic
https://www.evangelicalright.com/JesusDino.jpg
Naughty_Om
Im Ron Burgundy?
+355|7089|USA

Omnideath wrote:

Naughty_Om wrote:

This is older than jesus riding a dinosaur



ahem...

i said THIS IS OLDER than jesus riding a dinosaur..



*waits for the pic
http://www.evangelicalright.com/JesusDino.jpg
Success!
LT.Victim
Member
+1,175|7018|British Columbia, Canada
An Oldie.. but still Hilarious

Last edited by LT.Victim (2007-04-08 16:38:32)

commandochristian
Honda - The Power of Dreams
+293|6868|Michigan, USA

I haven't heard this one before, and it definitely made me LOL!!! +1 for the good story, even if you aren't the original OP.
FeedUsYourFetus
Member
+89|6908

jamesb wrote:

"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
To answer this question.....NO!!!!  No, no, no.  Give me BJs, or give me death.

KiL
Hurricane
Banned
+1,153|7086|Washington, DC

Omnideath wrote:

Naughty_Om wrote:

This is older than jesus riding a dinosaur



ahem...

i said THIS IS OLDER than jesus riding a dinosaur..



*waits for the pic
http://www.evangelicalright.com/JesusDino.jpg
Let us not forget the supreme leader's stern words of caution regarding images in topics...
bob_6012
Resident M-14 fanatic
+59|7111|Lancaster Ohio, USA
Friggin hilarious.

Last edited by bob_6012 (2007-04-08 21:43:17)

{M5}Sniper3
Typical white person.
+389|7216|San Antonio, Texas
Fucking hilarious!!!
R3v4n
We shall beat to quarters!
+433|6942|Melbourne

Old but still good!
~ Do you not know that in the service … one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?
~FuzZz~
.yag era uoy fi siht deaR
+422|6778|Orrstrayleea
Hahahahaha, not bad hahaha
nukchebi0
Пушкин, наше всё
+387|6780|New Haven, CT
Brilliant, whoever wrote it.
Raphi
Banned
+354|6714|Basel, Switzerland

UnknownRanger wrote:

russ)=spetsnaz wrote:

lol
trex1210
I am Canadian
+72|6714|B.C. Canada
WHOEVER WROTE THAT IS MY FUCKING IDOL!!!! holy shit im so going to do that to my girlfriend. ahahha nice one!!!
RavyGravy
Son.
+617|6861|NSW, Australia

trex1210 wrote:

WHOEVER WROTE THAT IS MY FUCKING IDOL!!!! holy shit im so going to do that to my girlfriend. ahahha nice one!!!
watch how fast she dumps you

Board footer

Privacy Policy - © 2025 Jeff Minard