New thing I'm going to try here. Let's see how it goes. Maybe a once a week thing if it goes well.
One thing I have discovered in my life is that there really...are no coincidences. Normally you would think that if one person screwed something up and then someone else did the same, that would be a coincidence. But when 273 people screw up the same thing....it no longer is a coincidence and is a plague of stupidity.
Maybe I didn't get the memo that said taking a three-day weekend will cause you to forget every password and login you've ever had, as well as forgetting how to turn a computer on, because I was able to turn mine on fine this morning and I remembered all my shit. The people that call me however....must have been smoking some of that memory erasing dope over the weekend because no one can remember a goddamned thing. I'm frankly surprised they remembered how to get to work at all.
Example:
User: Hi, I can remember my login password.
Me: What is your username please?
User: Ahh...uhh.....j-s-m....no wait...i don't remember.
Me: It's your first initial and last name.
Me: Whats your first and last name?
User:Joe Smith.
Me: Then your username is Jsmith.
User: Ohh. Is that my password too?
Me: No. I've just reset your password to "spring"
User: Is that spelled like the season or the object?
Me: What?
User: Spring?
Me: There is only one spelling of it. S-P-R-I-N-G
User: Yeah, thats what I thought. Is this my password for the **** system?
Me: What does that system do?
User: Tracks heart medications and rotation times for patients in the ICU.
Me:.............................*cough*.......................
User:Hello?
Me: I'm here, I'm just..........yeah, I, uhh....hang on.
Me: This is your username, this is your password, have a nice day, please write these down somewhere.
User: Ok. Thanks. I usually don't forget these type of things I'm just kind of....
Me: *click*
But the thing is, it's not one user that does this.....its ALL of them. Anytime they have more than two consecutive days off they get retarded. I'm convinced I could go to this place and stand outside pointing into the sky on a rainy day and watch everyone else start doing the same. Hopefully with a little luck, a few of them would drown.
----
But on a larger scale, this phenomenon is actually quite common, people doing stupid things in mass because of a common event. One needs look no further than FADS. Look at the skater fad for instance. I'd say 80% of the kids I see in my apartment complex dress like "skaters", the other 20% are black and just dress like any other black kid does. Out of that 80%, maybe 10% actually skate. So the other 70% don't actually skate and don't actually DO anything, they just like to dress like bums and endorse products they don't use so that they can "fit in" with a "non-conformist" click. I don't actually fly a plane, but I think flight suits look cool, so therefore I will now where a flight suit to work everyday. Yeah, pretty tarded thing to do.
----
Yesterday I was driving down I-635 here in Dallas and there was a massive traffic jam. It literally took me 3 hours to drive 5 miles. At one point I noticed a broken down truck on the shoulder and a biker had pulled over to help the guy. Within 30 minutes, 4 more bikers had pulled over to the shoulder, not to help, but to "check out" each others bikes. This in itself caused more of a jam because every other biker on the road starts trying to walk his bike in between the cars to get to the shoulder so that he "can do" whatever it is that all the other bikers are "doing". Never mind the fact that they were mostly the "wanna-be" bikers in their mid-40's going through a midlife crisis and trying to grab hold of the last fleeting remnants of their youth. The tale-tale sign of this was that two of the bikers had blue-tooths and one of the bikers was wearing black loafers.
----
I have a new favorite thing to do. Last Saturday the finance, myself and another couple we know went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. All was well until we got the waitress from hell. It started off bad when the first thing out of her mouth was "WHOA YOU IS LIKE TALL MR.!", followed by my flashing thoughts of choking and stabbing her at the same time. Then she noticed a cat scratch on my hand and went into a 10 minute, one sided conversation about her cat Mr. Mestophofleas. While I sat there hungry, I thought that maybe laughing at her stupid jokes would appease her and make her go get my food, so I inserted the fakest sounding laugh I could muster, which in turn forced her to laugh and then the guy at the table behind us turned around and started laughing too, then his whole table started laughing. At first I wanted to suicide bomb all of them straight into a closed casket ceremony, but then it dawned on me. People really are as manipulable in real life as they are online. I tested this before I left the restaurant. I stood outside the door where the waiting line was and randomly started to laugh while looking at one guy. That guy immediately started laughing, then his wife, then his kid, then the random girl next to him, pretty soon the entire line was laughing......for nothing. So far 100% success rate. Next target, Starbucks. Then Wal-Mart.
Today's lesson: The majority of people in the world are stupid, simple minded and easily manipulated.
One thing I have discovered in my life is that there really...are no coincidences. Normally you would think that if one person screwed something up and then someone else did the same, that would be a coincidence. But when 273 people screw up the same thing....it no longer is a coincidence and is a plague of stupidity.
Maybe I didn't get the memo that said taking a three-day weekend will cause you to forget every password and login you've ever had, as well as forgetting how to turn a computer on, because I was able to turn mine on fine this morning and I remembered all my shit. The people that call me however....must have been smoking some of that memory erasing dope over the weekend because no one can remember a goddamned thing. I'm frankly surprised they remembered how to get to work at all.
Example:
User: Hi, I can remember my login password.
Me: What is your username please?
User: Ahh...uhh.....j-s-m....no wait...i don't remember.
Me: It's your first initial and last name.
Me: Whats your first and last name?
User:Joe Smith.
Me: Then your username is Jsmith.
User: Ohh. Is that my password too?
Me: No. I've just reset your password to "spring"
User: Is that spelled like the season or the object?
Me: What?
User: Spring?
Me: There is only one spelling of it. S-P-R-I-N-G
User: Yeah, thats what I thought. Is this my password for the **** system?
Me: What does that system do?
User: Tracks heart medications and rotation times for patients in the ICU.
Me:.............................*cough*.......................
User:Hello?
Me: I'm here, I'm just..........yeah, I, uhh....hang on.
Me: This is your username, this is your password, have a nice day, please write these down somewhere.
User: Ok. Thanks. I usually don't forget these type of things I'm just kind of....
Me: *click*
But the thing is, it's not one user that does this.....its ALL of them. Anytime they have more than two consecutive days off they get retarded. I'm convinced I could go to this place and stand outside pointing into the sky on a rainy day and watch everyone else start doing the same. Hopefully with a little luck, a few of them would drown.
----
But on a larger scale, this phenomenon is actually quite common, people doing stupid things in mass because of a common event. One needs look no further than FADS. Look at the skater fad for instance. I'd say 80% of the kids I see in my apartment complex dress like "skaters", the other 20% are black and just dress like any other black kid does. Out of that 80%, maybe 10% actually skate. So the other 70% don't actually skate and don't actually DO anything, they just like to dress like bums and endorse products they don't use so that they can "fit in" with a "non-conformist" click. I don't actually fly a plane, but I think flight suits look cool, so therefore I will now where a flight suit to work everyday. Yeah, pretty tarded thing to do.
----
Yesterday I was driving down I-635 here in Dallas and there was a massive traffic jam. It literally took me 3 hours to drive 5 miles. At one point I noticed a broken down truck on the shoulder and a biker had pulled over to help the guy. Within 30 minutes, 4 more bikers had pulled over to the shoulder, not to help, but to "check out" each others bikes. This in itself caused more of a jam because every other biker on the road starts trying to walk his bike in between the cars to get to the shoulder so that he "can do" whatever it is that all the other bikers are "doing". Never mind the fact that they were mostly the "wanna-be" bikers in their mid-40's going through a midlife crisis and trying to grab hold of the last fleeting remnants of their youth. The tale-tale sign of this was that two of the bikers had blue-tooths and one of the bikers was wearing black loafers.
----
I have a new favorite thing to do. Last Saturday the finance, myself and another couple we know went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. All was well until we got the waitress from hell. It started off bad when the first thing out of her mouth was "WHOA YOU IS LIKE TALL MR.!", followed by my flashing thoughts of choking and stabbing her at the same time. Then she noticed a cat scratch on my hand and went into a 10 minute, one sided conversation about her cat Mr. Mestophofleas. While I sat there hungry, I thought that maybe laughing at her stupid jokes would appease her and make her go get my food, so I inserted the fakest sounding laugh I could muster, which in turn forced her to laugh and then the guy at the table behind us turned around and started laughing too, then his whole table started laughing. At first I wanted to suicide bomb all of them straight into a closed casket ceremony, but then it dawned on me. People really are as manipulable in real life as they are online. I tested this before I left the restaurant. I stood outside the door where the waiting line was and randomly started to laugh while looking at one guy. That guy immediately started laughing, then his wife, then his kid, then the random girl next to him, pretty soon the entire line was laughing......for nothing. So far 100% success rate. Next target, Starbucks. Then Wal-Mart.
Today's lesson: The majority of people in the world are stupid, simple minded and easily manipulated.
