I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up --
3 of them.
I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it... it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a
deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined.
The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
out of the big gash in my head.
At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head -- almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse -- ; strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
pics or it didn't happen
pwnt. srsly.
Source pl0x?
Source pl0x?
SEREMAKER wrote:
pics or it didn't happen
Amazing.
loldeers
SEREMAKER wrote:
pics or it didn't happen
you were a bad idea.
thats gay, farmers in Maine can get special hunting licenses to clear the land of deer stealing feed... stupid farmer
Got it from another forum with also had no source.Airwolf wrote:
pwnt. srsly.
Source pl0x?
I think that may be this guy
Who would ever think, especially growing up near deer, that a deer wouldn't act this way.
I kinda thought it was common knowledge to anyone that live near deer, that they are incredibly energetic and and will fight agressively to any threat.
I kinda thought it was common knowledge to anyone that live near deer, that they are incredibly energetic and and will fight agressively to any threat.
That deer fights like a girl.TheEternalPessimist wrote:
I think that may be this guy
That was you who did it. You just quoted it to make it look like someone else did it.
Right.
Right.
Eh... no, I found it on another board.
I just find it amazing that the guy filming didn't stop to give the deer some help.KEN-JENNINGS wrote:
That deer fights like a girl.
He was too busy laughing his ass off.
Seriously, tie the other end of the rope to something next time! That woulda got the bugger. Boing boing SNAP.
Seriously, tie the other end of the rope to something next time! That woulda got the bugger. Boing boing SNAP.
The Deers side of the story...
I had this idea that I was going to rope a human, put it in a cave, feed it up on cattle feed for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a human. I figured that, since they occasionally showed-up at the cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up while looking stupidly at you as if they never seen a killer deer before while bringing my cow friends some fresh feed), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it while it holds this little bag and ties a rope around itself, loop the other end over my head and "Surprise" drag it off to the cave.
I picked out a likely looking one, didn't look too bright, you know the one with the "human in headlights" look. I stepped out from the end of the feeder, and put my head in the loop of the rope real fast. The human just stood there and stared at me.
He wrapped the rope around his waist and I pulled on the loop so I would have a good hold. The human still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it... it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a human may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That human EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a human is a LOT LESS stronger than a rabbit or a cat. A rabbit or a cat would fight back with some dignity. A human, no effort at all.
That thing just layed there and took it. There was no fight in it and certainly no sport in it at all. So, I jerked it off it's feet and started dragging it across the ground to see if it would at least put up a little bit of a fight - It didn't. It occurred to me that having a human on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined.
A brief minute later, it was tired so I decided to drag it over some nearby rocks. It took me a few minutes to realize it was blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in it's head.
At that point, I had lost my taste for human meat - all so fatty too. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its waist, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that human. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in it's head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the humans momentum by banging it's head against various large rocks as I dragged it across the ground. I could still think clearly enough, despite the tears in my eyes, to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the human to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between it's truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could give it's rope back.
Did you know that humans cry and whimper when you bite them? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a human could do that, so I was very surprised when I leaned forward to lose the rope and the thing started cowarding under the truck - It was sad I tell you, sad.
The proper thing to do when a human cries is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried snorting and shaking while biting it instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the human was crying and whimpering louder for a couple of minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a human (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.
While I kept it busy by tearing the bejesus out of it's right arm, I reached up with my hoof and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in human behavior for the day. Humans will cry out at you with loud whining noises. They will kick their feet and strike out about knee level, and their boots and spurs are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an human -- like a cornered rabbit -- ; strikes at you with their feet and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the human, despite the crying. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can finish them off.
This was not a rabbit. This was a human, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
I fell to the ground laughing my ass off.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a human that cries at you is that there is a good chance that it will kick you in the knees. Humans may not be so different from rabbits after all, besides being less as strong and 3 times less evil, because the second I fell to the ground laughing, it kicked me right in the ass so hard it made me want to kill and eat it all over again.
Now, when a human kicks at you it does not immediately stop crying. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is lay there crying like a little girl and covering it's head.
I finally managed to lose the rope from around me and hoofed it to death to stop the noise.
The only upside is that they do taste great with cow feed and spring water.
I had this idea that I was going to rope a human, put it in a cave, feed it up on cattle feed for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a human. I figured that, since they occasionally showed-up at the cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up while looking stupidly at you as if they never seen a killer deer before while bringing my cow friends some fresh feed), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it while it holds this little bag and ties a rope around itself, loop the other end over my head and "Surprise" drag it off to the cave.
I picked out a likely looking one, didn't look too bright, you know the one with the "human in headlights" look. I stepped out from the end of the feeder, and put my head in the loop of the rope real fast. The human just stood there and stared at me.
He wrapped the rope around his waist and I pulled on the loop so I would have a good hold. The human still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it... it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a human may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That human EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a human is a LOT LESS stronger than a rabbit or a cat. A rabbit or a cat would fight back with some dignity. A human, no effort at all.
That thing just layed there and took it. There was no fight in it and certainly no sport in it at all. So, I jerked it off it's feet and started dragging it across the ground to see if it would at least put up a little bit of a fight - It didn't. It occurred to me that having a human on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined.
A brief minute later, it was tired so I decided to drag it over some nearby rocks. It took me a few minutes to realize it was blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in it's head.
At that point, I had lost my taste for human meat - all so fatty too. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its waist, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that human. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in it's head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the humans momentum by banging it's head against various large rocks as I dragged it across the ground. I could still think clearly enough, despite the tears in my eyes, to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the human to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between it's truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could give it's rope back.
Did you know that humans cry and whimper when you bite them? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a human could do that, so I was very surprised when I leaned forward to lose the rope and the thing started cowarding under the truck - It was sad I tell you, sad.
The proper thing to do when a human cries is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried snorting and shaking while biting it instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the human was crying and whimpering louder for a couple of minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a human (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.
While I kept it busy by tearing the bejesus out of it's right arm, I reached up with my hoof and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in human behavior for the day. Humans will cry out at you with loud whining noises. They will kick their feet and strike out about knee level, and their boots and spurs are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an human -- like a cornered rabbit -- ; strikes at you with their feet and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the human, despite the crying. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can finish them off.
This was not a rabbit. This was a human, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
I fell to the ground laughing my ass off.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a human that cries at you is that there is a good chance that it will kick you in the knees. Humans may not be so different from rabbits after all, besides being less as strong and 3 times less evil, because the second I fell to the ground laughing, it kicked me right in the ass so hard it made me want to kill and eat it all over again.
Now, when a human kicks at you it does not immediately stop crying. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is lay there crying like a little girl and covering it's head.
I finally managed to lose the rope from around me and hoofed it to death to stop the noise.
The only upside is that they do taste great with cow feed and spring water.
Lol hilarious.AAFCptKabbom wrote:
The Deers side of the story...
I had this idea that I was going to rope a human, put it in a cave, feed it up on cattle feed for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a human. I figured that, since they occasionally showed-up at the cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up while looking stupidly at you as if they never seen a killer deer before while bringing my cow friends some fresh feed), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it while it holds this little bag and ties a rope around itself, loop the other end over my head and "Surprise" drag it off to the cave.
I picked out a likely looking one, didn't look too bright, you know the one with the "human in headlights" look. I stepped out from the end of the feeder, and put my head in the loop of the rope real fast. The human just stood there and stared at me.
He wrapped the rope around his waist and I pulled on the loop so I would have a good hold. The human still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it... it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a human may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That human EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a human is a LOT LESS stronger than a rabbit or a cat. A rabbit or a cat would fight back with some dignity. A human, no effort at all.
That thing just layed there and took it. There was no fight in it and certainly no sport in it at all. So, I jerked it off it's feet and started dragging it across the ground to see if it would at least put up a little bit of a fight - It didn't. It occurred to me that having a human on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined.
A brief minute later, it was tired so I decided to drag it over some nearby rocks. It took me a few minutes to realize it was blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in it's head.
At that point, I had lost my taste for human meat - all so fatty too. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its waist, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that human. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in it's head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the humans momentum by banging it's head against various large rocks as I dragged it across the ground. I could still think clearly enough, despite the tears in my eyes, to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the human to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between it's truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could give it's rope back.
Did you know that humans cry and whimper when you bite them? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a human could do that, so I was very surprised when I leaned forward to lose the rope and the thing started cowarding under the truck - It was sad I tell you, sad.
The proper thing to do when a human cries is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried snorting and shaking while biting it instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the human was crying and whimpering louder for a couple of minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a human (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.
While I kept it busy by tearing the bejesus out of it's right arm, I reached up with my hoof and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in human behavior for the day. Humans will cry out at you with loud whining noises. They will kick their feet and strike out about knee level, and their boots and spurs are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an human -- like a cornered rabbit -- ; strikes at you with their feet and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the human, despite the crying. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can finish them off.
This was not a rabbit. This was a human, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
I fell to the ground laughing my ass off.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a human that cries at you is that there is a good chance that it will kick you in the knees. Humans may not be so different from rabbits after all, besides being less as strong and 3 times less evil, because the second I fell to the ground laughing, it kicked me right in the ass so hard it made me want to kill and eat it all over again.
Now, when a human kicks at you it does not immediately stop crying. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is lay there crying like a little girl and covering it's head.
I finally managed to lose the rope from around me and hoofed it to death to stop the noise.
The only upside is that they do taste great with cow feed and spring water.
Different story if the human had a gun, though.
'My last lesson abouthumans was that humans have big tubes that make really loud noises and little invisible things come at light speed and fuck you up.'