BF2S Forums A Critique of Marriage

If you are 16 then, to be blunt, you need to STFU.

I don't mean that to be cruel or harsh but it is meant to be poignant.  Anyone over the age of 25 will tell you that there is a HUGE difference in your attitudes and understanding of yourself, women, and life between 16 and mid to late 20s.  Let me sum up:

16-22:  Don't care... need pussy bad!
22-25:  Partying gets stale, tired of making excuses to bolt on the chick you just woke up next to.
25-30:  Start caring more about what you don't see in a woman until you actually spend serious time with her (wow, she's got brains and 36 DDs!)
30+:  You find that having a woman who's strong, intelligent, and kind-hearted, means infinitely more than banging Angelina Jolie clones.

All I can say is that until you meet someone who really rings your bell, and at 16 the only thing ringing your bell is hormones, you won't have a clear view of the subject.  I'd go so far as to guess that if someone was to show you your post in 15 years you'd feel pretty stupid and respond with something along the lines of "I was young, dumb, and full of......".


Honestly,  It's one thing to think something is wrong, and you are free to think that, but until you have lived and understand the subject... your statements read as very ignorant.

Last edited by ReTox (2008-04-10 17:14:04)

FallenMorgan wrote:

then poof it's over and then the rest of your lives are gust a schlog.

dude, you better figure something out, cause if you are this whiny already, the real world is going to beat the life out of you.

ReTox wrote:

FallenMorgan wrote:

Ever hear me mention that I've never had a girlfriend, nor have I had the urge to bang this goth chick that goes to the same independent study thing as me?  Well, not the last part...you get my point...I'm more mature than that.

Ok, you've never had a girlfriend but you're sure marriage is bad???

Marriage is not about being locked into something, it isn't about having a woman to do what you want.  It's about sharing life with your best friend... and your spouse should be your best friend.  It's about realizing that she isn't someone you think you can live with but more the woman you can't live without.  Until you feel that even once I can't see how you can comment on it good or bad.

I mean would you think someone who never ate pizza has the right to say pizza sucks?  That's just crazy talk.


Edit -

Oh, and banging has nothing to do with maturity, that is a "many thousands of years" genetic thing you can't run from.  We all bang and we all want to bang, just as you get older the banging becomes more about the "Person" than the person's looks.

Tom Leykis has the same views as me, and he's not 16, he just doesn't bend over for society.  By the way why can't two people who love eachother just live together and whatnot?  Why do they need a fancy little marriage license and a big freaking ceremony and bullshit?

FallenMorgan wrote:

Tom Leykis has the same views as me, and he's not 16, he just doesn't bend over for society.  By the way why can't two people who love eachother just live together and whatnot?  Why do they need a fancy little marriage license and a big freaking ceremony and bullshit?

My brother got married by a judge in a courthouse.  You don't need a huge ceremony.  Some people like the celebration of a wedding.  But the legal protections given to families are one of the main reasons that marriage is a good thing.  Read about them--they are a good thing.


Here:

Tax Benefits

• Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities.
• Creating a "family partnership" under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members.

Estate Planning Benefits

• Inheriting a share of your spouse's estate.
• Receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and gift taxes for all property you give or leave to your spouse.
• Creating life estate trusts that are restricted to married couples, including QTIP trusts, QDOT trusts, and marital deduction trusts.
• Obtaining priority if a conservator needs to be appointed for your spouse -- that is, someone to make financial and/or medical decisions on your spouse’s behalf.

Government Benefits

• Receiving Social Security, Medicare, and disability benefits for spouses.
• Receiving veterans' and military benefits for spouses, such as those for education, medical care, or special loans.
• Receiving public assistance benefits.

Employment Benefits

• Obtaining insurance benefits through a spouse's employer.
• Taking family leave to care for your spouse during an illness.
• Receiving wages, workers' compensation, and retirement plan benefits for a deceased spouse.
• Taking bereavement leave if your spouse or one of your spouse’s close relatives dies.

Medical Benefits

• Visiting your spouse in a hospital intensive care unit or during restricted visiting hours in other parts of a medical facility.
• Making medical decisions for your spouse if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to express wishes for treatment.

Death Benefits

• Consenting to after-death examinations and procedures.
• Making burial or other final arrangements.

Family Benefits

• Filing for stepparent or joint adoption.
• Applying for joint foster care rights.
• Receiving equitable division of property if you divorce.
• Receiving spousal or child support, child custody, and visitation if you divorce.

Housing Benefits

• Living in neighborhoods zoned for "families only."
• Automatically renewing leases signed by your spouse.

Consumer Benefits

• Receiving family rates for health, homeowners', auto, and other types of insurance.
• Receiving tuition discounts and permission to use school facilities.
• Other consumer discounts and incentives offered only to married couples or families.

Other Legal Benefits and Protections

• Suing a third person for wrongful death of your spouse and loss of consortium (loss of intimacy).
• Suing a third person for offenses that interfere with the success of your marriage, such as alienation of affection and criminal conversation (these laws are available in only a few states).
• Claiming the marital communications privilege, which means a court can’t force you to disclose the contents of confidential communications between you and your spouse during your marriage.
• Receiving crime victims' recovery benefits if your spouse is the victim of a crime.
• Obtaining immigration and residency benefits for noncitizen spouse.
• Visiting rights in jails and other places where visitors are restricted to immediate family.

Last edited by SenorToenails (2008-04-10 17:33:42)

FallenMorgan wrote:

Tom Leykis has the same views as me, and he's not 16, he just doesn't bend over for society.

really, is that what you call it?

"Leykis has been married and divorced four times. On December 22, 1993, while married to Susan, who first met Leykis at a Los Angeles Kings game, he was charged with "felony assault and battery and threatening to commit a crime"; a police officer found bruises and scratches on the woman. In March 1994, Leykis was sentenced to a year of probation and a domestic violence class."

it seems like the law calls it something else entirely......


anyway, keep rebelling kid. please always keep in mind; just because you are different, it doesnt make you useful.

FallenMorgan wrote:

Why would there be a sense of security for children in married families?  Married people break up as much as non-married people.

Right now the norm is for people to be married when they have children.  If you have children when you aren't married, you are making that child the odd one out.  That is the simple answer. 

FallenMorgan wrote:

Tom Leykis has the same views as me, and he's not 16, he just doesn't bend over for society.  By the way why can't two people who love eachother just live together and whatnot?  Why do they need a fancy little marriage license and a big freaking ceremony and bullshit?

A marriage shows commitment and willingness to endure the hard times and relish the good ones.  If they don't have the added pressure of being married, some people find it easy to just bail out early without giving it more effort.  When you get older you will realize that the best things in life aren't always easy or fun.  I have been married for 13 years.  I would say for certain that I am happier and more fullfilled now than I have ever been in my life.  There were times during those 13 years that I would have loved to just hit the door running and never look back, but being married changes how you look at the commitment.  Besides when you are with that special someone finally, and they tell you they want to get married, what are you going to say?  No?

Like many have said, you are young and there are a lot things to figure out.  You may not want to listen to a bunch of old idiots trying tell you how to live your life.  Just remember we were all your age once.  We thought we had it figured out as well.  Don't take all this as though we are telling you how live your life or how to look at things even. 

Just keep an open mind.

FallenMorgan wrote:

Having a child while unmarried just means you aren't spreading 'em for society.  Also, the problem with marriage is that all personal property is consolidated legally, and thus, when you get divorced, there's a likelyhood of YOUR stuff being taken.

Also, the reason many of you who are married say you're happier married, society brainwashes kids to the simple thing:

Marriage = good

Why do none of you have an open mind?  Maybe the fabric of society is messed up.  People need to challenge social norms.  If we're all the same, then the world would be screwed up.  It's stupid for everyone to get married and have kids.  You don't NEED that.

it's worked perfectly well up until now, why change?

Sorry to say kid you are the one brain washed, you form your own opinions and anyone who argues  with you is wrong. You need to to go out and experience life for you self not sit on the internet all day.

FallenMorgan wrote:

Having a child while unmarried just means you aren't spreading 'em for society.  Also, the problem with marriage is that all personal property is consolidated legally, and thus, when you get divorced, there's a likelyhood of YOUR stuff being taken.

Also, the reason many of you who are married say you're happier married, society brainwashes kids to the simple thing:

Marriage = good

Why do none of you have an open mind?  Maybe the fabric of society is messed up.  People need to challenge social norms.  If we're all the same, then the world would be screwed up.  It's stupid for everyone to get married and have kids.  You don't NEED that.

What do you mean spreading 'em for society?  Are you implying that I have compromised something by getting married?  If you go into a relationship trying to keep your stuff as your stuff, and that you want to keep the option to bail as open as possible you will have a hard time getting past your first big fight.  The marriage is a voluntary commitment that attempts to make you work things out.  The "in sickness and in health" kind of sums it up for me.

Yes I do NEED that, I need my family, they have made me a better person.  I believe they need me.  It works out very well for us.

Last edited by LividBovine (2008-04-10 18:00:34)

FallenMorgan wrote:

S.Lythberg wrote:

FallenMorgan wrote:

Having a child while unmarried just means you aren't spreading 'em for society.  Also, the problem with marriage is that all personal property is consolidated legally, and thus, when you get divorced, there's a likelyhood of YOUR stuff being taken.

Also, the reason many of you who are married say you're happier married, society brainwashes kids to the simple thing:

Marriage = good

Why do none of you have an open mind?  Maybe the fabric of society is messed up.  People need to challenge social norms.  If we're all the same, then the world would be screwed up.  It's stupid for everyone to get married and have kids.  You don't NEED that.

it's worked perfectly well up until now, why change?

The reason why was because societies usually try to impose their beliefs on their own people, thus, other paths are shunned while others are accepted.

then what do you suggest?

free for all orgy time?

In our society, we use marriage to express our commitment to the happiness and well being of another human being and any children that may come from the union.

Methinks you're just unlucky with the ladies

edit: @ Turq:  It's not the institution of marriage that's the issue, but rather the mindset of the people who enter into them that makes them fail.  Many people fail to understand the responsibility involved, and many people aren't all that good at managing responsibility.

Last edited by S.Lythberg (2008-04-10 18:02:36)

FallenMorgan wrote:

ReTox wrote:

If you are 16 then, to be blunt, you need to STFU.

I don't mean that to be cruel or harsh but it is meant to be poignant.  Anyone over the age of 25 will tell you that there is a HUGE difference in your attitudes and understanding of yourself, women, and life between 16 and mid to late 20s.  Let me sum up:

16-22:  Don't care... need pussy bad!
22-25:  Partying gets stale, tired of making excuses to bolt on the chick you just woke up next to.
25-30:  Start caring more about what you don't see in a woman until you actually spend serious time with her (wow, she's got brains and 36 DDs!)
30+:  You find that having a woman who's strong, intelligent, and kind-hearted, means infinitely more than banging Angelina Jolie clones.

All I can say is that until you meet someone who really rings your bell, and at 16 the only thing ringing your bell is hormones, you won't have a clear view of the subject.  I'd go so far as to guess that if someone was to show you your post in 15 years you'd feel pretty stupid and respond with something along the lines of "I was young, dumb, and full of......".

Ever hear me mention that I've never had a girlfriend, nor have I had the urge to bang this goth chick that goes to the same independent study thing as me?  Well, not the last part...you get my point...I'm more mature than that.

Does not matter how "mature" you are.  As you age, your hormone balances change.  Your brain chemistry changes.  The way you think actually changes.  The young never believe it will happen.  People approaching middle age try to deny it is happening.  But it is.

Just wait until you actually get passed on the road and think "Damn kids.  And he needs to turn his stereo down too."  Scared me when I heard myself say that almost as bad as the first time I got "Sir"ed by a skateboarder on a sidewalk.

Yes, it will happen to you all.  If you don't agree with me, then my guess you are too young to know.  Other old farts in here?  You know what I am talking about.

SenorToenails wrote:

FallenMorgan wrote:

Having a child while unmarried just means you aren't spreading 'em for society.  Also, the problem with marriage is that all personal property is consolidated legally, and thus, when you get divorced, there's a likelyhood of YOUR stuff being taken.

Don't want your shit taken in divorce?  Get a prenup.

What if she doesn't want a prenup for whiney little reasons?