DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+796|7119|United States of America
This is a few years old by now but it's about time I break it out. DO NOT LET CHILDREN WHO BELIEVE IN SANTA READ THIS!!





CHRISTMAS ACCORDING TO ENGINEERS!

There are approximately 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total or 378,000,000 (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For the purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses Space Probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and the conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10x the normal amount, the job can't be done with the eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons moving at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spaceship reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the pair behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 mps in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 G's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crumbling his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas!

Last edited by DesertFox423 (2006-12-04 13:58:41)

commissargizz
Member
+123|6898| Heaven
Damn and I thought he existed.... next you're going to tell me the tooth fairy doesn't exist either.
heggs
Spamalamadingdong
+581|6822|New York
that got passed around the engineering school at suny bing a couple of years back. funny stuff. although, non engineers don't seem to laugh as hard.
Remember Me As A Time Of Day
wah1188
You orrible caaaaaaan't
+321|6894|UK
Thanks for ruining my Christmas you douche :p, haha nice I like this very much. +1
BolvisOculus
Spagett!
+167|7053|Manitowoc, WI
I think you did a calculation wrong.  Wouldn't you divide the total number of Christian children by 3.5 to find out how many houses he has to visit instead of multiplying it?
heggs
Spamalamadingdong
+581|6822|New York
actually, the math doesn't work out in any way in the first paragraph, unless i'm missing something.


2 billion * .15 = 300 000 000 christian children.
300 000 000 / 3.5 children per household = 85 714 285 homes.

so he's not that far off, just did the math a little wrong. but when working with numbers of this magnitude, the end result isn't going to change all that much. santa and his reindeer aren't going to survive the trip.

Last edited by heggs (2006-12-04 13:48:42)

Remember Me As A Time Of Day
Varegg
Support fanatic :-)
+2,206|7244|Nårvei

Omg - he killed christmas !

YOU BASTARD !!!!!

Edit: Your hole thesis is based on the use of conventional reindeer's, we all know Santa uses super reindeer's, watch yourself boy cause Rudolph is pretty pissed right now and will deliver your gift personally this year and he`ll only use 0,5/1000th of a second dumping his load down your chimny !

Last edited by Varegg (2006-12-04 13:54:12)

Wait behind the line ..............................................................
DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+796|7119|United States of America

BolvisOculus wrote:

I think you did a calculation wrong.  Wouldn't you divide the total number of Christian children by 3.5 to find out how many houses he has to visit instead of multiplying it?
You do divide it. 378,000,000/3.5= 108,000,000
heggs
Spamalamadingdong
+581|6822|New York
the original calculation is off by a factor of 3 though. (it was recorded that way, anyway)
Remember Me As A Time Of Day
BolvisOculus
Spagett!
+167|7053|Manitowoc, WI

DesertFox423 wrote:

BolvisOculus wrote:

I think you did a calculation wrong.  Wouldn't you divide the total number of Christian children by 3.5 to find out how many houses he has to visit instead of multiplying it?
You do divide it. 378,000,000/3.5= 108,000,000
Oh, it's 378 million.  He has it as 378 thousand.
heggs
Spamalamadingdong
+581|6822|New York
to get 378 000 000, you need around 18.5 percent.
Remember Me As A Time Of Day
-Gunsmoke-
Member
+165|7069|South Jersey
https://www.futurama-madhouse.com.ar/claw/santa_grave.jpg

im pretty sure the original used to be 1836-2000...

Last edited by -Gunsmoke- (2006-12-04 13:57:11)

dundee_hitman_2005
Member
+8|7104|Scotland
You forgot the 1000s of elfs that help him
Darky
Hi..
+71|6996|Here.
I lol'd.
R3v4n
We shall beat to quarters!
+433|6921|Melbourne

Darky wrote:

I lol'd.
me to...


thats Quite funny
~ Do you not know that in the service … one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?

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