Man Law proposals...vote your conscience, lads.
1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"....period.
2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
4. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
6. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
8. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.
9. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
10. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothin'.
11. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
12. It is permissible to consume a fruity, chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach...
and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...
and it's free.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
15. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
16. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"
17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain un-cool.
18. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"....period.
2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
4. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
6. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
8. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.
9. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
10. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothin'.
11. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
12. It is permissible to consume a fruity, chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach...
and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...
and it's free.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
15. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
16. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"
17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain un-cool.
18. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.