I haven't really come across a topic that is for jokes only. Maybe I'm missing it, but I searched the Junk Drawer subforum and the entire site, but nothing comes up.
This is just a place for you to post jokes you found, jokes you made up, or jokes that are really funny.
I'll start.
One day there were three boys walking down the street, and suddenly they heard cries for help. When the boys got to the noise they saw George W. Bush in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning.
Dubya asked the boys how he could ever repay him. The first boy said, "I want a boat."
The second boy said, "I want a truck."
And the third boy said, "I want three tombstones with our names all on them."
Dubya asked, "Why is that, son?"
The little boy said, "Because when my Dad finds out that we saved you, he is going to kill us all!"
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To put out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
This is just a place for you to post jokes you found, jokes you made up, or jokes that are really funny.
I'll start.
One day there were three boys walking down the street, and suddenly they heard cries for help. When the boys got to the noise they saw George W. Bush in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning.
Dubya asked the boys how he could ever repay him. The first boy said, "I want a boat."
The second boy said, "I want a truck."
And the third boy said, "I want three tombstones with our names all on them."
Dubya asked, "Why is that, son?"
The little boy said, "Because when my Dad finds out that we saved you, he is going to kill us all!"
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To put out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.