Have you heard of Rodney the Rooster? Kinda funny so I'll share it with you.
There once was a farmer, his name was Jones, farmer Jones. He was a chicken farmer somewhere in the midwest. One day, as farmer Jones was inspecting his chickens he started to notice that the egg production was starting to wane. Damn rooster, farmer Jones thought, got to get me a new rooster.
The next day, bright and early, farmer Jones jumped into his pickup truck and headed towards town. He pulled up the the local farmer supply shop and wandered in. "Shop keep", farmer Jones yelled, "I need me a new rooster, a good rooster, in fact the best rooster you got". The shop keep looked at him, for a moment, and then said, "come with me, I'll so you what we got". The shop keep brought him to the back of the store and showed farmer Jones and bunch of different roosters. Framer Jones looked them over, one by one, farmer Jones was not happy with any of them. "None of these will do!!! " farmer Jones yelled, " I need a GOOD rooster, a real producer!!!". The shop keep said, "ok" " I do have one special rooster but I have to warn you...". Framer Jones interrupted the shop keep, "Show him to me!!!". Startled, the shop keep agreed.
The shop keep dug into his pocket and pulled out a ring of keys. "follow me" said the shop keep. The shop keep went back into the store room and unlocked a bolted door. Down a flight of stairs to another bolted door. Thru that door, down a long dark hall they came upon another bolted door. "He's behind this door" mumbled the shop keep. Farmer Jones started to drool with anticipation. "Hurry up!!!!" said farmer Jones. The shop keep unlocked the last door and they both entered a room. On a large wooden table, sat a cage with a rooster in it. "Thats him", "that's Rodney" said the shop keep. Farmer Jones couldn't believe it, "never have I seen such a beautiful rooster, I'LL take him!!!". The shop keep tried to warn farmer Jones again but farmer Jone wouldn't hear of it.
Farmer Jones left with Rodney, cage and all, on his front seat. "thanks" said Rodney. Framer Jones' jaw dropped. "WTF", said farmer Jones, "ya, I can talk, didn't that moron shop keep tell you". Farmer Jones stared at Rodney, almost serving off the road. "Umm....No". "well I can, so are you taking me to chickens?"
"umm yes, yes I am" said farmer Jones. For the rest of the trip, all was silent.
When they arrived at the farm, farmer Jones took Rodney to the chicken coupe and said, "this is your new home, don't disappoint me". Said farmer Jones. "I wont " said Rodney as he entered the coupe.
The next day, and the day after and many days after that framer Jones couldn't believe his eyes. The egg production was unreal, it seemed every day more and more eggs where being laid. Farmer Jones was happy, very happy.
Then something terrible happen. Several months later, a pig gave birth to piglets, and the had feathers instead of skin. Farmer Jones was furious "RODNEY" he screamed WTF did you do???? "Sorry, wont happen again" said Rodney. "better not" as farmer Jones stomped away angerly." you'll wear yourself out" yelled farmer Jones.
After several months all was forgotten until one day. Kittens were born with feathers, puppies were born with feathers and even a calf was born with feathers. Farmer Jones exploded in anger. " listen you little prick, stop fucking all the animals, your gonna wear yourself out !!!!
"Sorry man, I slipped up, I promise, I'll stick to chickens, I swear" said Rodney.
Several months went by and all seemed well, Rodney was working hard the the eggs were plentiful.
After returning from town one eventful day, farmer Jones noticed some vultures circling. To his horror his ultimate horror, the vultures were circling Rodney as he layed lifeless in the middle of a field.
"OMG OMG OMG" yelled farmer Jones, as he ran out to Rodney's lifeless body. This is all my fault, I worked him to hard, OMG he wore himself out, thought farmer Jones. Farmer Jones knelt down, tears streaming from his eyes, " I'm so sorry Rodney". Sudden, Rodney slowly opened a eye and glared at farmer Jones. "Fuck off " whispered Rodney "didn't you see that they were about to land " said Rodney.
There once was a farmer, his name was Jones, farmer Jones. He was a chicken farmer somewhere in the midwest. One day, as farmer Jones was inspecting his chickens he started to notice that the egg production was starting to wane. Damn rooster, farmer Jones thought, got to get me a new rooster.
The next day, bright and early, farmer Jones jumped into his pickup truck and headed towards town. He pulled up the the local farmer supply shop and wandered in. "Shop keep", farmer Jones yelled, "I need me a new rooster, a good rooster, in fact the best rooster you got". The shop keep looked at him, for a moment, and then said, "come with me, I'll so you what we got". The shop keep brought him to the back of the store and showed farmer Jones and bunch of different roosters. Framer Jones looked them over, one by one, farmer Jones was not happy with any of them. "None of these will do!!! " farmer Jones yelled, " I need a GOOD rooster, a real producer!!!". The shop keep said, "ok" " I do have one special rooster but I have to warn you...". Framer Jones interrupted the shop keep, "Show him to me!!!". Startled, the shop keep agreed.
The shop keep dug into his pocket and pulled out a ring of keys. "follow me" said the shop keep. The shop keep went back into the store room and unlocked a bolted door. Down a flight of stairs to another bolted door. Thru that door, down a long dark hall they came upon another bolted door. "He's behind this door" mumbled the shop keep. Farmer Jones started to drool with anticipation. "Hurry up!!!!" said farmer Jones. The shop keep unlocked the last door and they both entered a room. On a large wooden table, sat a cage with a rooster in it. "Thats him", "that's Rodney" said the shop keep. Farmer Jones couldn't believe it, "never have I seen such a beautiful rooster, I'LL take him!!!". The shop keep tried to warn farmer Jones again but farmer Jone wouldn't hear of it.
Farmer Jones left with Rodney, cage and all, on his front seat. "thanks" said Rodney. Framer Jones' jaw dropped. "WTF", said farmer Jones, "ya, I can talk, didn't that moron shop keep tell you". Farmer Jones stared at Rodney, almost serving off the road. "Umm....No". "well I can, so are you taking me to chickens?"
"umm yes, yes I am" said farmer Jones. For the rest of the trip, all was silent.
When they arrived at the farm, farmer Jones took Rodney to the chicken coupe and said, "this is your new home, don't disappoint me". Said farmer Jones. "I wont " said Rodney as he entered the coupe.
The next day, and the day after and many days after that framer Jones couldn't believe his eyes. The egg production was unreal, it seemed every day more and more eggs where being laid. Farmer Jones was happy, very happy.
Then something terrible happen. Several months later, a pig gave birth to piglets, and the had feathers instead of skin. Farmer Jones was furious "RODNEY" he screamed WTF did you do???? "Sorry, wont happen again" said Rodney. "better not" as farmer Jones stomped away angerly." you'll wear yourself out" yelled farmer Jones.
After several months all was forgotten until one day. Kittens were born with feathers, puppies were born with feathers and even a calf was born with feathers. Farmer Jones exploded in anger. " listen you little prick, stop fucking all the animals, your gonna wear yourself out !!!!
"Sorry man, I slipped up, I promise, I'll stick to chickens, I swear" said Rodney.
Several months went by and all seemed well, Rodney was working hard the the eggs were plentiful.
After returning from town one eventful day, farmer Jones noticed some vultures circling. To his horror his ultimate horror, the vultures were circling Rodney as he layed lifeless in the middle of a field.
"OMG OMG OMG" yelled farmer Jones, as he ran out to Rodney's lifeless body. This is all my fault, I worked him to hard, OMG he wore himself out, thought farmer Jones. Farmer Jones knelt down, tears streaming from his eyes, " I'm so sorry Rodney". Sudden, Rodney slowly opened a eye and glared at farmer Jones. "Fuck off " whispered Rodney "didn't you see that they were about to land " said Rodney.