New Zealand Help

2007-01-25 15:06:50

#1

usmarine2007: Banned; +374|6813|Columbus, Ohio

I have been in meetings with two people from New Zealand (Christchurch) all day and will continue till next Tuesday. They are very nice people and like to make teaching their product fun and interesting. Now, the main guy is a blast and a few of us go back and forth with stupid quick insults, kind of like what we do on here.

So, any of you from that area know any good comebacks or sayings I could use to fuck with them a bit? Nothing too bad, this is business, but something fun.

P.S.

I just got done with three days of meetings with some Canadians from Waterloo, now I am spending four days with people from New Zealand. My language sounds so fucked up at times now my friends ask me WTF I am saying.

2007-01-25 15:35:25

#2

TeamZephyr: Maintaining My Rage Since 1975; +124|6976|Hillside, Melbourne, Australia

Nothing much really, you might have to rely on your own comic genius.

If you want to be really harsh New Zealanders are known here in Australia to be sheep shaggers and we've come up with a million jokes about it. You can also ask them contiously to say "six", but thats about it

2007-01-25 15:37:43

#3

evilcartman99: The Octagon; +18|6859|da ville, va

Call 'em sheep rapers.

2007-01-25 15:48:45

#4

{uscm}Jyden: You likey leaky?; +433|7125|In You Endo- Stoke

Hmm can't think of many.

Ask if they have australian origins or of they are,that normally winds kiwi's up,or even ask if there from south africa.

But most insults for kiwi's are sheep related.

2007-01-25 15:56:08

#5

usmarine2007: Banned; +374|6813|Columbus, Ohio

lol...I have heard the sheep stuff, but I don't want to use that TBH.

2007-01-25 16:00:52

#6

Superior Mind: (not macbeth); +1,755|7139

Bring a kiwi to a meeting (the fruit) and cut it and stab it furiously.

x

2007-01-25 16:02:57

#7

usmarine2007: Banned; +374|6813|Columbus, Ohio

Superior Mind wrote:
Bring a kiwi to a meeting (the fruit) and cut it and stab it furiously.

rofl

2007-01-25 17:25:34

#8

MrE`158: Member; +103|7070

Bring a kiwi:

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h95/MrE158/kiwi.jpg

to the meeting, and stab it furiously.

2007-01-25 17:54:38

#9

TuataraDude: Member; +115|6969|Aotearoa

If you are in Christchurch, many people outside Canterbury (the province) call them one-eyed (Due to their fanatical devotion to any sports team). They hate Aucklanders, so you could always say something like Christchurch not being as interesting as Auckland. Also, as Christchurch is in a slight bowl, they get a lot of smog in the winter. You might get an opportunity to riff on that.

Just remember though, fanny in NZ means something different to fanny in America (in America is is your bottom, in NZ it is a womens private parts). As does the word Bum and Fag (although that last one is starting to mean a gay man as well as a smoke).

2007-01-25 17:59:22

#10

usmarine2007: Banned; +374|6813|Columbus, Ohio

TuataraDude wrote:
If you are in Christchurch, many people outside Canterbury (the province) call them one-eyed (Due to their fanatical devotion to any sports team). They hate Aucklanders, so you could always say something like Christchurch not being as interesting as Auckland. Also, as Christchurch is in a slight bowl, they get a lot of smog in the winter. You might get an opportunity to riff on that.

Just remember though, fanny in NZ means something different to fanny in America (in America is is your bottom, in NZ it is a womens private parts). As does the word Bum and Fag (although that last one is starting to mean a gay man as well as a smoke).

Thank you sir.

2007-01-25 19:57:57

#11

Ty: Mass Media Casualty; +2,398|7221|Noizyland

There arn't too many NZ specific insults, save Sheep-Shagger, which was originally used by New Zealanders to Australians as Australia used to be more famous for it's Sheep than us - now of course the tides have turned.

MrE`158 wrote:
Bring a kiwi to the meeting, and stab it furiously.

That's actually illegal and you'll be arrested and fined if you do.

Umm, what else... there's strong rivalry between the North and South Islands, mostly between south of Canterbury and Auckland - no-one likes Auckland.

If you want to perfect the NZ accent, there are abou three types. To do the Northland accent, relax your cheeks and speak like you've got no control of the muscles around your face. "Yill start tuh soand loike thus." God I hate the Northland NZ accent - it's where the famed "Fush und Chups" comes from.
Southland Kiwi accent is harder, it's almost scottish, there's a distinctive rolling of 'R's. Listen to Sir Anthony Hopkins in "The World's Fastest Indian" to get it right.
Most of the rest of us, (me,) have an even more dificult accent to track down. I can't really give any pointers, but try listening to Sam Neill, (Jurassic park - Alan Grant, as well as some other things, of the top of my head he was also the doctor who ended up going crazy and evil in "Event Horizon".) Unfortunatly the Northland accent is spreading.

Finally, know your Rugby. Even people who hate Rubgy in New Zealand really like it. Keep telling them that the All Blacks have no chance of winning the World Cup this year 'cause the Aussies are just looking too good. Check out my thread on the Haka too if you want.

Good luck.

[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon

2007-01-25 19:59:47

#12

Fancy_Pollux: Connoisseur of Fine Wine; +1,306|7092

All I can say is don't drink the water. (Montezuma's revenge)

2007-01-25 20:03:31

#13

RavyGravy: Son.; +617|6852|NSW, Australia

you could give him a wallabies(ozzie football team) shirt or something.

or better yet set a kiwi shirt on fire.

Last edited by <<<FTDM>>>Gen.Raven (2007-01-25 20:08:18)

2007-01-25 20:22:16

#14

BVC: Member; +325|7142

I live in Christchurch, but without knowing a bit about them theres only so much I can help you with. Do you know what part of Christchurch they come from? What schools they went to?

St. Bedes, St. Andrews and Christs College are known as "soggy biscuit" schools. Christs College students are called "syrups", something to do with syrup up the chuff.

Manchester Street is where female hookers work, Latimer square is where the trannies and underagers go but they aren't there all the time.

Tim Barnett is a local openly gay MP.

Hagley park is a place where some local gays go to fuck each other and suck dick at night. The toilets in north hagley park to be precise.

The whole "car scene" is quite popular here due to there being LOTS of flat, straight roads. Most people in that scene drive rice rockets, but theres also a bit of the Fords vs Holdens rivarly that Australia has. Brand loyalty, people get really fired up about it!

You could ask them what part of the North Island or Australia they're from. Actually confusion with Australia is a good one.

Meth is known locally as P.

Sheep jokes might work...but we've heard them all before. The wider Canterbury area is mostly plains, with a few hills here and there, mountains to the west. Its all farming country. Canterbury Draught is the regional beer.

You're not in Chrstchurch at the mo I take it?

If military matters come up ask them about our air force; we're still using Hueys and don't even have fighter jets anymore.

Last edited by Pubic (2007-01-25 20:30:49)

2007-01-26 07:51:59

#15

usmarine2007: Banned; +374|6813|Columbus, Ohio

TuataraDude wrote:
They hate Aucklanders, so you could always say something like Christchurch not being as interesting as Auckland.

I was told to call them a Jafa or something like that.

2007-01-26 08:41:42

#16

aardfrith: Δ > x > ¥; +145|7239

Ty wrote:
There arn't too many NZ specific insults, save Sheep-Shagger, which was originally used by New Zealanders to Australians as Australia used to be more famous for it's Sheep than us - now of course the tides have turned.

It's not NZ specific anymore. I wouldn't know whether it originated there or not but certainly in the UK (according to the OED) its first recorded use was in 1958, of the Welsh. Now it equally applies to Aussies, Kiwis, people from Cumbria, basically anywhere where there's more sheep than women.

Jaffas? Those are seedless oranges.

Mention any sporting achievement and then say "Oh, wait, that was the Aussies wasn't it?"

2007-01-26 09:21:10

#17

MrE`158: Member; +103|7070

Ty wrote:
MrE`158 wrote:
Bring a kiwi to the meeting, and stab it furiously.
That's actually illegal and you'll be arrested and fined if you do.

Yes, figured, I was more making the point that when referring to a New Zealander as a kiwi, it's from the bird, not the fruit.

On the rugby part: You could point out that the All Blacks seem to be unbeatable until the world cup comes around, and then they collapse into a "lets hope we make the semi-finals" kind of team.

(Though, given how they're playing right now, it'd have to be a pretty spectacular collapse.)

2007-01-26 15:04:36

#18

TuataraDude: Member; +115|6969|Aotearoa

usmarine2007 wrote:
TuataraDude wrote:
They hate Aucklanders, so you could always say something like Christchurch not being as interesting as Auckland.
I was told to call them a Jafa or something like that.

That would be right. Jafa = Just Another F*****G Aucklander.

Hope you enjoyed the garden city man. I love that place.

2007-01-26 15:05:29

#19

usmarine2007: Banned; +374|6813|Columbus, Ohio

TuataraDude wrote:
usmarine2007 wrote:
TuataraDude wrote:
They hate Aucklanders, so you could always say something like Christchurch not being as interesting as Auckland.
I was told to call them a Jafa or something like that.
That would be right. Jafa = Just Another F*****G Aucklander.

Hope you enjoyed the garden city man. I love that place.

I wasn't there dude....they were here.

2007-01-26 15:21:06

#20

TuataraDude: Member; +115|6969|Aotearoa

usmarine2007 wrote:
TuataraDude wrote:
usmarine2007 wrote:

I was told to call them a Jafa or something like that.
That would be right. Jafa = Just Another F*****G Aucklander.

Hope you enjoyed the garden city man. I love that place.
I wasn't there dude....they were here.

Sorry, my bad.

2007-01-26 15:23:00

#21

usmarine2007: Banned; +374|6813|Columbus, Ohio

TuataraDude wrote:
Sorry, my bad.

It's cool. If I was there I would be drinking beers with TY maybe.

2007-01-29 03:14:15

#22

BVC: Member; +325|7142

^ Almost got a bite You're doing well! A good Australian you would make

aardfrith wrote:
Now it equally applies to Aussies, Kiwis, people from Cumbria, basically anywhere where there's more sheep than women.

I was curious enough to look it up:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheep

wikipedia on Sheep wrote:
Global Sheep and Lamb stocks
in 2005
(million head)
People's Republic of China 170.9
Australia 102.7
European Union (15 nation) 99.3
Soviet Union 65.3
India 62.5
Iran 54.0
Sudan 49.0
New Zealand 39.9
United Kingdom 35.3
South Africa 25.3

Christ China has a lot of sheep!! And Australia too, more than I thought (their hidden shame) Looks like Iran is quite a sheep-loving country too...and Sudan...you learn something new every day

Last edited by Pubic (2007-01-29 03:20:45)

2007-01-29 03:59:12

#23

cospengle: Member; +140|6933|Armidale, NSW, Australia

Don't mention the cricket

2007-01-29 21:39:54

#24

BVC: Member; +325|7142

Maybe if we import some recycled drinking water, the extra "vitamins" in the water will give our cricketers a much-needed boost

2007-01-29 21:50:17

#25

Cheez: Herman is a warmaphrodite; +1,027|6885|King Of The Islands

Pubic wrote:
Maybe if we import some recycled drinking water, the extra "vitamins" in the water will give our cricketers a much-needed boost

You mean you want to drink our nation's piss? What else would 'recycled drinking water' be.

My state was founded by Batman. Your opinion is invalid.

BF2S Forums New Zealand Help

Superior Mind wrote:

TuataraDude wrote:

MrE`158 wrote:

TuataraDude wrote:

Ty wrote:

Ty wrote:

MrE`158 wrote:

usmarine2007 wrote:

TuataraDude wrote:

TuataraDude wrote:

usmarine2007 wrote:

TuataraDude wrote:

usmarine2007 wrote:

TuataraDude wrote:

usmarine2007 wrote:

TuataraDude wrote:

aardfrith wrote:

wikipedia on Sheep wrote:

Pubic wrote:

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