This is what happens when you're bored and are learning Photoshop - coupled with the fact that my ISP is fucked up again today.
Reality shows are the most false thing on TV. So scripted, so much bullshit, and like a virus they're spreading. Can we stop them? iI fucking hope so.
BUT if we cannot, if broadcasters want to continue to plague our prime time viewing hours with them, then here are some shows I'd like to see.
In this delightful romp, ten easy women will be told that they have a chance to marry a successful rap star. In a course of nine grueling weeks, (plus the two hour intro and finally,) all but one of the women will be chosen by Chamillionare to continue to the next week while the woman who was missed out will be taken behind the garden shed and shot. Finally there will be two left.
However there is a catch! When it boils down to the last two women the truth will be told! How will the final two react when they find out that their partner to-be is not a successful rap star but a hack riding the mainstream popular Hip-Hop wave with one successful single who will be forgotten in a matter of weeks.
Ooh.
Re-named from "Who wants to marry Chamillionaire?" because people who could answer in the affirmative to that question were few and far between. The producers found that having the "Millionaire" separate and distinctive attracted more of the brainless prostitutes that go in for these sorts of things.
Sensing boredom with the reality dating shows, but realising that people seem to like the romantic endings, the producers of "The Bachelor" decided to formulate a plan to speed up the process. Instead of the weeks upon weeks of 'dates' and 'activities' the contestants will simply duke it out with two five-shooters - ten women, two groups. You may have noticed that there is a difference with this Roulette competition in that instead of one bullet in the gun, there is one bullet missing from the gun. Again this was in the effort of speeding up the process. After a quick round of gun smoking fun, two are left. Finally the last two contestants choke each other to death to win the grand prize. If one is left alive they get to marry the useless fuckhead playboy. If they both die, then the Bachelor must shoot himself in the face, usually to much applause.
Have you ever noticed how the 'Survivor' series now just have the contestants going to a new tropical island each time? After Africa and the Aussie outback were over there were no more survivable yet harsh environments for the contestants to go.
Now, in throwing caution to the winds, the next 'Survivor' will take place in the harshest environment on the planet. Watch as the contestants are initially thrown off the ship into the freezing water and laugh as they try to get ashore before the Leopard Seals and Orcas mass. Chortle with glee as they make crude bivouacs out of their cloathing and most likely freeze to death. Ponder as to which tribe will resort to killing the other tribe for sustinance first.
As a twist this season, the tribe member voted off at tribal counsil will not simply leave the show, they will leave the tribe and have to survive on the ice with no outside help until the series is over. Or until they're dead.
Shocking moment of the season: 'Survivor' host Jeff Probst is clubbed to death by an illegal Japanese hunting crew who mistook him for a baby seal - at least that was the hunters' story anyway.
Yeah man. This season of reality show bullshit will be the best ever. I may be able to think of some more later.
Reality shows are the most false thing on TV. So scripted, so much bullshit, and like a virus they're spreading. Can we stop them? iI fucking hope so.
BUT if we cannot, if broadcasters want to continue to plague our prime time viewing hours with them, then here are some shows I'd like to see.
In this delightful romp, ten easy women will be told that they have a chance to marry a successful rap star. In a course of nine grueling weeks, (plus the two hour intro and finally,) all but one of the women will be chosen by Chamillionare to continue to the next week while the woman who was missed out will be taken behind the garden shed and shot. Finally there will be two left.
However there is a catch! When it boils down to the last two women the truth will be told! How will the final two react when they find out that their partner to-be is not a successful rap star but a hack riding the mainstream popular Hip-Hop wave with one successful single who will be forgotten in a matter of weeks.
Ooh.
Re-named from "Who wants to marry Chamillionaire?" because people who could answer in the affirmative to that question were few and far between. The producers found that having the "Millionaire" separate and distinctive attracted more of the brainless prostitutes that go in for these sorts of things.
Sensing boredom with the reality dating shows, but realising that people seem to like the romantic endings, the producers of "The Bachelor" decided to formulate a plan to speed up the process. Instead of the weeks upon weeks of 'dates' and 'activities' the contestants will simply duke it out with two five-shooters - ten women, two groups. You may have noticed that there is a difference with this Roulette competition in that instead of one bullet in the gun, there is one bullet missing from the gun. Again this was in the effort of speeding up the process. After a quick round of gun smoking fun, two are left. Finally the last two contestants choke each other to death to win the grand prize. If one is left alive they get to marry the useless fuckhead playboy. If they both die, then the Bachelor must shoot himself in the face, usually to much applause.
Have you ever noticed how the 'Survivor' series now just have the contestants going to a new tropical island each time? After Africa and the Aussie outback were over there were no more survivable yet harsh environments for the contestants to go.
Now, in throwing caution to the winds, the next 'Survivor' will take place in the harshest environment on the planet. Watch as the contestants are initially thrown off the ship into the freezing water and laugh as they try to get ashore before the Leopard Seals and Orcas mass. Chortle with glee as they make crude bivouacs out of their cloathing and most likely freeze to death. Ponder as to which tribe will resort to killing the other tribe for sustinance first.
As a twist this season, the tribe member voted off at tribal counsil will not simply leave the show, they will leave the tribe and have to survive on the ice with no outside help until the series is over. Or until they're dead.
Shocking moment of the season: 'Survivor' host Jeff Probst is clubbed to death by an illegal Japanese hunting crew who mistook him for a baby seal - at least that was the hunters' story anyway.
Yeah man. This season of reality show bullshit will be the best ever. I may be able to think of some more later.
[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon