Petitions to the Prime Minister

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2007-02-05 02:17:13

Penetrator: Certified Twat; +296|6955|Bournemouth, South England

In the day and age of electronic freedom speech and expression, it is possible to start national petitions in a futile attempt to get Mr Blair to listen, and even change something. Now there are several thousand active petitions, but most of them either bore the crap out of me, or are against my political views.

However, I have found some that are of interest:

1. Stand on his head & juggle ice cream

2. Replace the National Anthem with Gold, by Spandau Ballet

3. cease the persecution of smokers and allow indoor smoking areas in private establishments.

4. Resign, dissolve parliament, call election.

5. enter Ultimate Frisbee in to the 2012 olympics

6. recognise Jedi Knights as a religion on par with Christianity, Islam and other beliefs.

7. Recognize Borat As The Leader Of Kazakhstan

8. to allow the sale of elephants in pet shops in the UK

9. Stop all wifes from nagging us men

These are all actual petitions that people have submitted to Parliament!

And can be found/signed at http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/

2007-02-05 02:26:10

Cheez: Herman is a warmaphrodite; +1,027|6885|King Of The Islands

Penetrator_01 wrote:
6. recognise Jedi Knights as a religion on par with Christianity, Islam and other beliefs.

Australia almost did that one (or did we?).

Please do not enter Jedi for Religion on your census. The public doing so in such a volume will cause Jedi to become an official religion of Australia, and we don't want that. *

Oh, they were asking for it.

_{* Something like that.}

My state was founded by Batman. Your opinion is invalid.

2007-02-05 02:27:57

Penetrator: Certified Twat; +296|6955|Bournemouth, South England

Cheez wrote:
Penetrator_01 wrote:
6. recognise Jedi Knights as a religion on par with Christianity, Islam and other beliefs.
Australia almost did that one (or did we?).

Please do not enter Jedi for Religion on your census. The public doing so in such a volume will cause Jedi to become an official religion of Australia, and we don't want that. *
Oh, they were asking for it.

_{* Something like that.}

Yeah, we had that over here couple of years back, needed over 10,000 nominations, got way more than that, Govt overtuned it, saying it was bollocks.

2007-02-05 02:40:23

The Magic Mullet: Member; +240|6871

I'd like him to allow lottery grants to be spent on building a big pair of scissors to cut Wales off from the rest of the UK.

Also, when Australians visit England they should be made to wear prison outfits with black arrows on them, to signify the fact that they all descend from convicts (Aboriginals aside) and also make the british public aware that they are returning to the scene of the crime.

2007-02-05 03:41:02

crimson_grunt: Shitty Disposition (apparently); +214|7101|Teesside, UK

Penetrator_01 wrote:
3. cease the persecution of smokers and allow indoor smoking areas in private establishments.

As long as there's a rule saying employers can not make non-smokers clean it. Once i had to clean a smokers room and its was the most disgusting thing ever I had trouble breathing for the rest of the day.

2007-02-05 04:12:45

Penetrator: Certified Twat; +296|6955|Bournemouth, South England

Only put point 3 in there because it seems very dramatic! I my self smoke, but fully understand that non smokers have a right to not be in contact with smoke, or smoking areas. Where I work there is no indoor smoking, which I think is understandable. However, I do fell tat a sheltered smoking area should be provided for larger companies, such as the one I work for.

As for non smokers cleaning the smoking area, I think thats out of order. Should get small children to do it, at least it will discourage them from taking up smoking.

2007-02-05 04:18:20

Vilham: Say wat!?; +580|7213|UK

I agree other than the smoking. It damages other peoples health. You wanna kill yourself.. fine. Dont force it on other people by smoking indoors.

2007-02-05 04:19:45

crimson_grunt: Shitty Disposition (apparently); +214|7101|Teesside, UK

Penetrator_01 wrote:
As for non smokers cleaning the smoking area, I think thats out of order. Should get small children to do it, at least it will discourage them from taking up smoking.

Lol very cruel. To qualify the kids should at least be on route to an ASBO

2007-02-05 04:22:34

The Magic Mullet: Member; +240|6871

I would like to see him fund a project to build a huge circus cannon, then put all of the PC Brigade, Health & Safety Officials, people who read Heat Magazine and people who ring in to complain about TV shows inside and blast them into the heart of the sun.

2007-02-05 04:24:00

Penetrator: Certified Twat; +296|6955|Bournemouth, South England

Why have that paid for by the government? Offer to put the house of commons in there, and the general public will build it free of charge.

2007-02-05 04:25:15

The Magic Mullet: Member; +240|6871

Penetrator_01 wrote:
Why have that paid for by the government? Offer to put the house of commons in there, and the general public will build it free of charge.

They should build a biblical 'retro' wooden catapult and fling the House of Commons over to France.

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