To all husbands: If you hate to shop with your wife, here is one man's solution to the problem.
This is a letter from a Department Store to a customer:
Mrs. Fenton,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
MEMO
RE: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in "Housewares" to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the "Ladies" restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee in "Housewares" and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' ...
and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of cookies on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the Camping Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
if they'll bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the Hunting Department, asked the clerk if
he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the Auto Department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And, last, but not least!
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly,
"There is no toilet paper in here!"
This is a letter from a Department Store to a customer:
Mrs. Fenton,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
MEMO
RE: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in "Housewares" to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the "Ladies" restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee in "Housewares" and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' ...
and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of cookies on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the Camping Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
if they'll bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the Hunting Department, asked the clerk if
he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the Auto Department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the
fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And, last, but not least!
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly,
"There is no toilet paper in here!"