just stay away from them.
I bet if you turn filtering off thou ! an ace will show a woman in a bikini.. as per my theory post along time ago..
AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA!! Security measures for wiping your ass, HAHAHA!!!theDude5B wrote:
I believe that this is still classed as an "ace" because you wipe once, then the second wipe doesn't really count as it is more of a security measure rather than a proper wipe. People are too afraid to leave it at just the one wipe because even though they know it is an "ace", what if they just missed? what if they wiped the wrong area and really they can not just leave it at one wipe just to say they had "an ace" to their friends!
Well anyway, I was just bored and thought I would share this Myth with you. I also googled it to see if I could find any regional variations on the subject, foreign names for it, stories about famous "aces", but google did not return anything worth reading.
I can't believed you googled an ass wiping maneuver.
This thread is literaly full of it... cant say i didnt laugh though lol
You're not the only one whos talked about these "aces" before. I remember in like... Yeat 7 or 8 in geaography once we were talking about crapping...
I even think Xan ^^^^ was there with me.
I even think Xan ^^^^ was there with me.
@Cougar, yeah man, I googled it. Was wondering if there were other lads out there who talked about it when they were out drunk with their mates. Most guys always talk about this stuff at some point, and usually ends up with everyone laughing their asses off!
I have a story about an ace when I was very young, but I highly doubt it would be appropriate!
(lets just say it was about half the length of my height!)
(lets just say it was about half the length of my height!)
maybe it was the ace of spades?
With all the spices you Scots eat, I doubt you gguys get a lot of "Aces". Seriously. When I was in Czech a few years ago, I met a Scottish guy there and we ended up hanging out for about a week. He would use curry and pepper spices all the time. Every meal, no doubt.theDude5B wrote:
Ok, so usually when my friends are out having a few beers and a curry, we always end up on the subject of toilet humour and talking about one specific thing, "An Ace".
Now this may be called different things in different countries and is still sometimes seen by many of my friends as a complete myth. So here is where the debate lies.
"An Ace", one wiper, is when you go to the toilet and do a number 2, but it is very solid and leaves no matter behind, so you can grab one piece of toilet paper and wipe once and only once. After this one wipe you can tell that you have had "an ace" and then you do not need to wipe again.
But it this just a myth? I mean I have had many "aces" over my years, but do you really only wipe once? The shock that you have nothing there will always result in you wiping again just to make sure, so does this cancel out the "ace" even though the second wipe shows no signs of matter either. I believe that this is still classed as an "ace" because you wipe once, then the second wipe doesn't really count as it is more of a security measure rather than a proper wipe. People are too afraid to leave it at just the one wipe because even though they know it is an "ace", what if they just missed? what if they wiped the wrong area and really they can not just leave it at one wipe just to say they had "an ace" to their friends!
Well anyway, I was just bored and thought I would share this Myth with you. I also googled it to see if I could find any regional variations on the subject, foreign names for it, stories about famous "aces", but google did not return anything worth reading. So I want to hear your names for it? have you ever heard about it before? Be quick because this will probably be closed for wasting valuable time!
Sorry, I was bored.
I usually just wipe with my tongue or hair.
thats rather unlady-like hurriHurricane wrote:
I usually just wipe with my tongue or hair.
they are great. ive risked the not having the security wipe lol. i made it out in the end tho.
Curri not hurri smurgeonsurgeon_bond wrote:
thats rather unlady-like hurriHurricane wrote:
I usually just wipe with my tongue or hair.
Wait behind the line ..............................................................
sorry stigVaregg wrote:
Curri not hurri smurgeonsurgeon_bond wrote:
thats rather unlady-like hurriHurricane wrote:
I usually just wipe with my tongue or hair.
@KEN, this brings me onto another subject actually.
The subject of "Letting it brew"
For sure, we eat some spices up here in Bonnie Scotland, but mainly just when we are eating curries. But as a nation, now, we tend to eat a lot of take away food, curries, Chinese, fried, pizza, kebabs, etc... so in order to get into the right frame of body and soul in order to achieve the "ace", you need to "let it brew".
Letting one Brew:
Well this is when you start to feel the need to go to the toilet for a number 2 (a poo), but you know that you could actually hold it in for longer. Why would you want to hold it in for longer? Well this is to try and make it form well enough so that it comes out more solid, which helps with the ace.
It is almost like a fine wine. The longer you leave it, the better it will be in the end!
The subject of "Letting it brew"
For sure, we eat some spices up here in Bonnie Scotland, but mainly just when we are eating curries. But as a nation, now, we tend to eat a lot of take away food, curries, Chinese, fried, pizza, kebabs, etc... so in order to get into the right frame of body and soul in order to achieve the "ace", you need to "let it brew".
Letting one Brew:
Well this is when you start to feel the need to go to the toilet for a number 2 (a poo), but you know that you could actually hold it in for longer. Why would you want to hold it in for longer? Well this is to try and make it form well enough so that it comes out more solid, which helps with the ace.
It is almost like a fine wine. The longer you leave it, the better it will be in the end!
I've had many "perfect snakes" or "clean cuts", but I never go with just one wipe. I always do a security wipe. Once I thoroughly wipe and there's still nothing on the paper, then it's ok to leave. I just don't wanna have to itch my ass and then have a skid mark after doing so
hahahaha! I've let many a brew, mainly because I'm on the computer or doing some homework and I just want to finish whatever I'm doing before I go. This has actually led to what I call "internal farts". I can feel some gas and hear a loud noise within my stomach, almost like it's grumbling, but it goes from my anus and up into my intestines. It feels weird and sounds like a muffled fart, but that's the sign that I only have a few minutes before my body tries dumping it for good!theDude5B wrote:
Letting one Brew:
Well this is when you start to feel the need to go to the toilet for a number 2 (a poo), but you know that you could actually hold it in for longer. Why would you want to hold it in for longer? Well this is to try and make it form well enough so that it comes out more solid, which helps with the ace.
It is almost like a fine wine. The longer you leave it, the better it will be in the end!
Last edited by mtb0minime (2007-05-25 00:46:26)
haha yeah then you might end up running to the toilet and having a "photo finish" !mtb0minime wrote:
It feels weird and sounds like a muffled fart, but that's the sign that I only have a few minutes before my body tries dumping it for good!
Splashdown is a terrible thing, especially when the reflected toilet water makes its way into my assholetheDude5B wrote:
haha yeah then you might end up running to the toilet and having a "photo finish" !mtb0minime wrote:
It feels weird and sounds like a muffled fart, but that's the sign that I only have a few minutes before my body tries dumping it for good!
think that is what we here call "Splash Back"
you really need to stick a few sheets of paper down first before you go to avoid this from happening.
you really need to stick a few sheets of paper down first before you go to avoid this from happening.
I always do that.theDude5B wrote:
think that is what we here call "Splash Back"
you really need to stick a few sheets of paper down first before you go to avoid this from happening.
To prevent skidmarks!
would it just be rotting while you do that. i would assume that getting it out at first notice would be better?theDude5B wrote:
Well this is when you start to feel the need to go to the toilet for a number 2 (a poo), but you know that you could actually hold it in for longer. Why would you want to hold it in for longer? Well this is to try and make it form well enough so that it comes out more solid, which helps with the ace.
Tonight I took a really loud shit. It was quite memorable. It wasn't particularly powerful, it just had the right mix of gas and ... substance... in it. My friend was down the hall (I'm in a college dorm) and he started laughing and yelled at me that he could hear that a mile away. Twas awesome
This topic is going to turn into some sort of memorable crap/fart thread. So I might as well mention the most memorable fart I had. It was a few years ago and I was walking home from school (high school). I had a really nasty fart that I had been holding in for a while and hadn't got the chance to release, so I had to carefully walk at the optimum speed between going fast enough, but not too fast to prevent premature release. Eventually I made it a safe enough distance from other people who were walking home and knew that they'd be outside of audible range. I let it go and I could feel my entire stomach and intestines just compress. They had been stretched out and filled up with this massive fart and once I released, it felt like letting the air out of a huge balloon inside of me. There was so much release that I felt as if I just got a few inches shorter since it felt like my entire torso compressed. I'll never forget it *tear*
This topic is going to turn into some sort of memorable crap/fart thread. So I might as well mention the most memorable fart I had. It was a few years ago and I was walking home from school (high school). I had a really nasty fart that I had been holding in for a while and hadn't got the chance to release, so I had to carefully walk at the optimum speed between going fast enough, but not too fast to prevent premature release. Eventually I made it a safe enough distance from other people who were walking home and knew that they'd be outside of audible range. I let it go and I could feel my entire stomach and intestines just compress. They had been stretched out and filled up with this massive fart and once I released, it felt like letting the air out of a huge balloon inside of me. There was so much release that I felt as if I just got a few inches shorter since it felt like my entire torso compressed. I'll never forget it *tear*
reminds me of another thing which we always end up talking about when we are on this subject and drunk.
To fart or not to fart.
When you are out and about in town, or even on a night out, and you are bursting for a number 2 you find a public toilet. You know that what is about to come out of your bum is going to be the smelliest, noisiest, unwanted substance. But there is someone in the toilet next to you, or someone standing washing their hands.
What do you do?
If you let rip, then you know the other person is going to feel just as uncomfortable as you will.
If you try to hold it in, then you dont know how long you will have to hold until the person leaves.
One option is to maybe try to muffle the sound some how, but this might get messy.
But I think the best thing to do is just let rip then laugh about it while in the toilet!
To fart or not to fart.
When you are out and about in town, or even on a night out, and you are bursting for a number 2 you find a public toilet. You know that what is about to come out of your bum is going to be the smelliest, noisiest, unwanted substance. But there is someone in the toilet next to you, or someone standing washing their hands.
What do you do?
If you let rip, then you know the other person is going to feel just as uncomfortable as you will.
If you try to hold it in, then you dont know how long you will have to hold until the person leaves.
One option is to maybe try to muffle the sound some how, but this might get messy.
But I think the best thing to do is just let rip then laugh about it while in the toilet!
TubeRyan wrote:
Thanks, I know I dotheDude5B wrote:
I think you deserve to be "modded" up my man!
Last edited by John McClane (2007-05-25 04:00:48)
I think it's best to let it rip! Laughing about it is cool if you know the other person, but if you don't, it's best to let it rip and express your dominance of the bathroom. Just make sure you don't get outdone You should shit loudly and proudly! Take pride in your massive, loud, smelly crapfest and let all who enter know that you are king of this bathroom and rule it with an iron fist!theDude5B wrote:
reminds me of another thing which we always end up talking about when we are on this subject and drunk.
To fart or not to fart.
When you are out and about in town, or even on a night out, and you are bursting for a number 2 you find a public toilet. You know that what is about to come out of your bum is going to be the smelliest, noisiest, unwanted substance. But there is someone in the toilet next to you, or someone standing washing their hands.
What do you do?
If you let rip, then you know the other person is going to feel just as uncomfortable as you will.
If you try to hold it in, then you dont know how long you will have to hold until the person leaves.
One option is to maybe try to muffle the sound some how, but this might get messy.
But I think the best thing to do is just let rip then laugh about it while in the toilet!