There's absolutely no way to proove that you're not "hacking". There is however, lots of ways that you make yourself "suspicious". And there are some ways you can remove some suspicion (like making a vid of an entire round you play where you still own pretty good).
Thing is that if you focus on just ONE task then you score damned high at that. Like gettign kills, repairs, captures etc. etc. and anyone getting "caught" with 8 captures in a 10 min. round is susopicious, anyone with a 7-1 KDR in a round is suspicious etc. etc.
A good example: I have played for over 1000 hours now, and I know a thing or two about using the guns in this game. I needed a 27 kills round to get my next "good conduct" medal. So what do I do ? I get out the SVD go on an IO server, run around next to an ammo guy and spam about 5-10 shots in the direction of ANYTHING moving that's not on my minimap. Result a decent round and getting some attention from the other people on my team. Next round I'm US, so no SVD, but I find a good team to work with. lots of medics and two ammo guys. I become the teams sniper and we own the round pretty darned good. (again I miss my target of 27 kills, but I manage a 20-2 KDR because I keep getting revived by the medics and I keep running with the team. At this point in time the first accusations of "hacking" arrives. 20 kills with an M24 on an IO map is like nothing. Next round I'm back on the SVD with the team again. We get to within 200 feet of an enemy uncap an manage to stay there for more than half the round before all medics and the SL dies. We fight our way back and do it all over again. I end the round without my medal (because of a bad shot on a teammate who ran infront of me). The entire SQUAD ended up with 4 deaths max pr person, and I got over 30 kills (same as the support guys spamming nades). We rule for about 4-5 more rounds, and the "hacking" accusations the air all over the place because I rank top 3 almost every round. And all I'm doing is playing for a freggin' medal (still haven't gotten it btw).
Now anyone with a little knowledge of playing on a non-pub server can tell you that good teamplay and 5-6 officers (people with lots of skill and experience) can turn the tide of a battle on ANY pub server. We just happened to do exactly that.
When all else is said and done, it's actually fairly easy to proove/detect hacking, but extremely hard to DISPROOVE it. As a general rule though, I'd much rather have an admin that takes allegations seriously and kicks based on assumptions, than one who couldn't care less and leaves all the hackers in there (or worse, IS one of them).
So how do you defeat "hack'ism" ? Well, depends on the hack and your "status". More options are available to admins ofcourse:
1) Take allegations of hacking seriously. If someone is continually suspect, then kick him to be on the safe side, if he's innocent he'll return to proove his innocense, if he's guilty he'll stay away for the rest of the night (most likely). Ofcourse some morons DO come back, and some innocents willstay away because their feelings got hurt. Well, rather their feelings than the rest of the servers players. It's a game after all, juriceprudence and "innocent until prooven guilty" does not count here. Kick the MF even if your'e not certain. That goes for me too, aswell as clan members, friends, family, even your own mother. NOONE is above suspicion.
2) If battlerecorder is on, check the footage. Hackers will often be able to "look" at their target even through a wall, if they're following their target where he's out of sight, you KNOW he's hacking (or can be relatively certain of it). You can check this even if you're not admin.
3) If the hacker is using "coloring" turning soldiers red or blue like on the minimap, then a screenshot will often catch them. Unfortunately this requires the PBSS functionality of your server, and it requires an admin to take the shot and look at it. This is WORK... Admins like to play, so most servers dont HAVE this options, but it is a good one.
4) Minimap hack is also getting pretty common. Again, if there's no UAV and a guy who's NOT the commander can walk around a corner and KNOW you're there (or appear to know) every time, then he's likely using this hack. And again... it's easily spotted with the screenshot, as he'll have red dots and no UAV on his HUD. Unfortunately you again have to have an admin and PBSS. While you can be fairly certain the poor slob who gets out his shcok paddles to go revive the squad that just died around the corner is NOT using a hack, you can't proove it.. he may just be as stupid as he acts when running into an area the enemy is KNOWN to cover. However, if a medic WONT run there, it doesn't mean that he's got the minimap hack.. it may JUST aswell mean that he's not as brave (or dumb) as someone who WOULD ignore the bullets.
5) Nofog/viewscale hack. While I'm not entirely sure how this works on all maps, I have seen it in action on maps with LOTS of fog, and it's easily prooven with eg. a screenie of where you died. What this does is allow a person to view FURTHER than normal, and removes the fog so he can in theory see as far as his resolution will allow. It's pretty easy to spot if eg. on Karkand, a US APC is outside the city and shoots a guy going up the ladder on square repeatedly... One kill can be luck, but two or three ? That's cheating, because not even a sniper with SCOPE can see this far through the fog. The APC will have to be almost at the hotel flag to be able to see this far, even with 100% view distance. If you have a card that can handle 100% then simply make a note of where you died, and where the APC was (if you know, it helps if it's on your HUD) and get out a scoped rifle and see if it's even possible to see this distance. Your screenie of where you died with the APC on the HUD will be good proof. But remember... A single lucky kill MAY have been a stray shot, so have screenies of 2-3 kills to show that it's NOT a fluke. Most admins will be happy to ban a player based on this sort of evidence.
6) Aimbot: the EASIEST of all the hacks to discover. Thing is an aimbot always aims for the head (well, at least that's what the vids show, if this becomes public knowledge people will probably start programming them to aiming for your balls instead ). So if a guy immediately hits/oneshot-kills you while you're lying still, but can't hit you when you're moving, then he's VERY likely using an aimbot that just can't keep up with where your hitbox moves. Also he'll likely be unable to keep focus on ONE target if there's two or more people in his LOF, so if he keeps moving the fire from one guy to another and back again before one of the first target is dead... He's probably using aimbot. But even a screenie can't give exact PROOF, but his actions can look suspicious. Particularly, if two-three screenies have him ALWAYS aiming EXACTLY at people heads, even while he's doing a running jump and a backflip at the same time. And with aimbot, he WILL. Admin screenies are your best "proof", but close combat manuevers with the guy might help to show it, and you can get one of his teammates to follow him around, they'll notice when he starts to walk his fire before his targets are dead.
7) Commander hack, aka vehiclespam. You'll NOTICE this one.. but who's doing the hacking can be a tough one. Looking at the type of car will show you what side the guy is playing on. There's at least half the server safe from suspicion. Then later look at your battlerecorder. Anyone standing still looking at the spot where the cars start to spam PRIOR to the cars starting to spam... that's most likely the spammer. If he's done it ONE on your server, he'll likely do it again.... Save the recorder data for later evidence, and if it happens again, correlate the players on the server and the "suspects". if there's any overlap. Ban the MF.
8) Blue bug hack.... Easiest of ALL hacks to spot. Anyone who walks into your camp wearing the enemys uniform is using the bluebug hack (showing up as friendly to the enemy). If it was just a "bug", then the guy would either DC and rejoin to remove the issue, or change sides. Anyone who blantantly (and repeatedly) turns "blue" and uses it to his advantage is hacking. Again, proof is circumstantial, but IMO enough to be rewarded with a ban.
9) Spawn hack. As easy to spot as the blue bug. Any enemies spawning at YOUR spawnpoints are cheating. Pure and simple. Get a screenie or battlerecorder data and send to admin to have the guy banned.
10) TV missle hack. Removing the static and/or white noise (particularly on dragon valley) gives a HUGE advantage to a gunner. while there are good gunenrs out there, you can be fairly sure that the guy who consistently hits you (while you're being a bunny jumping inf) with the TV missle is likely cheating. Again... PBSS will catch him.
Also be aware of one thing: I TOO thought the cheaters were few and far between, but in reality they're not. I checked just ONE hacksite has more than 100000 users (!) And if you're paying to cheat then you're USING the cheat, AND you're not a casual user. There may be some that are cuasual cheaters, and there may be some that are "old" users, and the sites that sell hacks may inflate the actual user numbers (or offer cheats for other games besides BF2). But still the numbers are VERY high. That means anyone who plays a couple of times a month is not likely to be suspect, but of the 2-300.0000 "daily" players, you can now be certain at least 20% cheat (!) if not everytime they play, then at least some fo the time.
So in essence.... You can't proove or disproove "hacking" (usually), but you can make a damned good case for or against a guy. So play on servers where the admins take it seriously, and preferably on servers where admins are regularly present. Battlerecorder servers is also a good idea, but not a requirement, as it's not very efficient. The best best is PBSS servers. there's at least a few hundred of those, so go play on some of them.