i went to the rose bowl yesterday, as with any sporting event, there were some....characters. and by characters i mean douchebags.
Don't spill your goddamn beer:
you wanna know when you've had too much? when you spill beer on people BEFORE THE GAME FUCKING STARTS. yeah cunt, i'm talking to you. don't bother apologizing 50 times, i don't even fucking know who you are for christ's sake.
miss 35-going-on-20: yeah, you. your stretched, over-tanned skin is disgusting, and so are your nasty wrinkles you tried to hide. after 32, YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR MINI-SKIRTS. your youth is over, you're almost over the goddamn hill. grow up, bitch.
that guy who insists on giving the play-by-play:* what the fuck? hey asshole, i have eyes too, shut the fuck up. you're ruining the game.
*this is acceptable if you brought your blind friend or young child who doesn't know anything about the sport
the hawkers:
I know you're just trying to do your job, but KEEP MOVING. standing in one place (right in front of me) and screaming in my ear isn't going to help you sell lemonades or bear testicles or whatever.
couples:
you brought your girlfriend? awesome. i'm all for that. but please, nobody wants to watch your fatass makeout with hers, we want to watch the fucking sports. save that for at home or in the car or something.
if you're two hot lesbians, go for it. if you're ugly, shoot yourselves
mr. referee: you think you can do a better job? go fucking do it then. i don't want to hear you bitch and complain over every fucking call in the game. but hey, maybe you and mr. play by play can get together and argue sometime. should be fun for you.
that person who has no idea what the hell is going on and doesn't care: often married to mr. referee, he tells her everything. she's annoying, cheers at the wrong times, asks questions about everything (but only if it makes all the fans angry or happy, cause it might be cool), and is generally apathetic to the sport. stay home, bitch.
the "i love you man" guy:
you drink too much. if you want to get wasted, go to bar or stay home. not everybody is drunk, fuckface, so you're not funny, you're just a shithead. generally tells his buddies how cool they are and confesses love to everybody who makes him laugh.
...so remember, sports do not mean you can stop being a big boy. please don't.
edit: some colons.
Don't spill your goddamn beer:
you wanna know when you've had too much? when you spill beer on people BEFORE THE GAME FUCKING STARTS. yeah cunt, i'm talking to you. don't bother apologizing 50 times, i don't even fucking know who you are for christ's sake.
miss 35-going-on-20: yeah, you. your stretched, over-tanned skin is disgusting, and so are your nasty wrinkles you tried to hide. after 32, YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR MINI-SKIRTS. your youth is over, you're almost over the goddamn hill. grow up, bitch.
that guy who insists on giving the play-by-play:* what the fuck? hey asshole, i have eyes too, shut the fuck up. you're ruining the game.
*this is acceptable if you brought your blind friend or young child who doesn't know anything about the sport
the hawkers:
I know you're just trying to do your job, but KEEP MOVING. standing in one place (right in front of me) and screaming in my ear isn't going to help you sell lemonades or bear testicles or whatever.
couples:
you brought your girlfriend? awesome. i'm all for that. but please, nobody wants to watch your fatass makeout with hers, we want to watch the fucking sports. save that for at home or in the car or something.
if you're two hot lesbians, go for it. if you're ugly, shoot yourselves
mr. referee: you think you can do a better job? go fucking do it then. i don't want to hear you bitch and complain over every fucking call in the game. but hey, maybe you and mr. play by play can get together and argue sometime. should be fun for you.
that person who has no idea what the hell is going on and doesn't care: often married to mr. referee, he tells her everything. she's annoying, cheers at the wrong times, asks questions about everything (but only if it makes all the fans angry or happy, cause it might be cool), and is generally apathetic to the sport. stay home, bitch.
the "i love you man" guy:
you drink too much. if you want to get wasted, go to bar or stay home. not everybody is drunk, fuckface, so you're not funny, you're just a shithead. generally tells his buddies how cool they are and confesses love to everybody who makes him laugh.
...so remember, sports do not mean you can stop being a big boy. please don't.
edit: some colons.
Last edited by Ender2309 (2008-01-02 12:20:36)
