Background:
-I'm the only non-Catholic in this group, hate brother-in-law's girlfriend, confrontational.
-Brother-in-law - mid-30s, ultrareligious, hasn't had too many serious girlfriends, kind of sheltered in that he doesn't take too many chances
-His girlfriend - mid-30s, ultrareligious, divorced three years ago, has six year old daughter, opinionated and doesn't have the common sense to have a filter - so she's pushy and impolite.
-In-laws - many in town, ultrareligious, not confrontational, mostly hate girlfriend for expressing non-filtered topics at family & friends functions such as:
"Did you just get a big raise? How much?"
"Try to be a little more Christian...(and later)...doesn't she know being fat and lazy is a sin?"
"Why would you hold your son back in school?" (Answer is he's a year younger...dumbass).
And basically exuding an opinion on known facts which are indisputable....and we don't argue because we have a filter...
-Additional facts:
1) They are living together for about 8 months now, no sex
2) She wants to get married, but according to Catholic law (correct me if I'm wrong), her previous marriage hasn't been annuled, so she will go to hell if she remarries. Annulment is a two-year process.
3) He has told me he does not love her, and never has.
Situation:
My wife, her sister, the brother-in-law, and my mother-in-law have lunch. Brother-in-law told them he doesn't love her and isn't going to marry her. Later, when the Mom leaves, he says he's been trying to talk to me about it. Specifically, he wants to know how I knew I wanted to get married...aka how to get to the next step...or, he might need some advice on how to dump her. Unfortunately everytime I see him it's with family or friends, so it's not exactly a topic you discuss in the open.
So my wife calls and asks me to invite him out for a beer.
I cannot stand the girlfriend. My brother-in-law is a good guy, but a little inexperienced. I've been watching the relationship and waiting for them to get married. If that doesn't happen its really going to crush both of them. And since I'm the confrontational guy in the family, and he looks up to me a bit...I get to chat with him.
So here's the issues I get to deal with, any advice you can provide...
1) He many NEVER have been love before. So I get to talk about that, yay. Because it's possible he's in love and doesn't realize it.
2) If he dumps her...its a small town...and they are in the same church, were they give religious training in the area of: you guessed it - relationships (aka WTF? a divorcee and a noob?). So it's going to be publicly embarassing. Especially because I don't think anyone knows they live together.
3) He's been sort of acting like a pseudo-dad to the six-year-old girl. So if he dumps her, he's dumping the daughter too.
4) I hate her, but I will be forced to be impartial. And I also believe the brother-in-law pretty much laid his own bed.
Yippee
-I'm the only non-Catholic in this group, hate brother-in-law's girlfriend, confrontational.
-Brother-in-law - mid-30s, ultrareligious, hasn't had too many serious girlfriends, kind of sheltered in that he doesn't take too many chances
-His girlfriend - mid-30s, ultrareligious, divorced three years ago, has six year old daughter, opinionated and doesn't have the common sense to have a filter - so she's pushy and impolite.
-In-laws - many in town, ultrareligious, not confrontational, mostly hate girlfriend for expressing non-filtered topics at family & friends functions such as:
"Did you just get a big raise? How much?"
"Try to be a little more Christian...(and later)...doesn't she know being fat and lazy is a sin?"
"Why would you hold your son back in school?" (Answer is he's a year younger...dumbass).
And basically exuding an opinion on known facts which are indisputable....and we don't argue because we have a filter...
-Additional facts:
1) They are living together for about 8 months now, no sex
2) She wants to get married, but according to Catholic law (correct me if I'm wrong), her previous marriage hasn't been annuled, so she will go to hell if she remarries. Annulment is a two-year process.
3) He has told me he does not love her, and never has.
Situation:
My wife, her sister, the brother-in-law, and my mother-in-law have lunch. Brother-in-law told them he doesn't love her and isn't going to marry her. Later, when the Mom leaves, he says he's been trying to talk to me about it. Specifically, he wants to know how I knew I wanted to get married...aka how to get to the next step...or, he might need some advice on how to dump her. Unfortunately everytime I see him it's with family or friends, so it's not exactly a topic you discuss in the open.
So my wife calls and asks me to invite him out for a beer.
I cannot stand the girlfriend. My brother-in-law is a good guy, but a little inexperienced. I've been watching the relationship and waiting for them to get married. If that doesn't happen its really going to crush both of them. And since I'm the confrontational guy in the family, and he looks up to me a bit...I get to chat with him.
So here's the issues I get to deal with, any advice you can provide...
1) He many NEVER have been love before. So I get to talk about that, yay. Because it's possible he's in love and doesn't realize it.
2) If he dumps her...its a small town...and they are in the same church, were they give religious training in the area of: you guessed it - relationships (aka WTF? a divorcee and a noob?). So it's going to be publicly embarassing. Especially because I don't think anyone knows they live together.
3) He's been sort of acting like a pseudo-dad to the six-year-old girl. So if he dumps her, he's dumping the daughter too.
4) I hate her, but I will be forced to be impartial. And I also believe the brother-in-law pretty much laid his own bed.
Yippee
