So I pulled into the minimart parking lot and noticed the big sign advertising Monster's newest creation, Java Monster. Being an impressionable 16 year old, my thoughts changed from getting a Diet Pepsi Max to trying out this new creation. I popped into the store, got my bag of chips, then made a bee-line (what the fuck does that even mean?) for the fridge. I found it there. It had three varieties: Mean Bean, Big Black, and Loca Mocha.
I got into my car and opened the drink. I was fearing the worst: Another "Coke Blak", which was a hybrid of Coke and coffee. The French version is better; it has a better balance of sugar to drink. Regardless, I sniffed it and it smelled more like normal coffee. I took a sip and it reminded me of those glass Starbucks Frappucino drinks, the Coffee variety. I drank up, savoring the taste. The can also looks quite cool.
According to the bottle it has 1/2 the caffeine of normal coffee. I'd assume the "energy" comes from such scary-sounding additives such as "taurine" and "ginseng." Regardless, I have an immunity to energy drinks whereby I will stay awake longer, but not actually feel energized. I am willing to wager that not even PCP would get me pumped.
Overall I'd rate the drink 4.5/5. It's delicious, but does not really deliver on the promise of energy. If you see it, try it out. I will post a review of the other 2 versions here as well, if I remember.
Pros:
Tastes good
Supposedly energizing
You look more badass and it has more liquid than the Starbucks coffee (sorry Starbucks)
Cons:
It's probably pricey
You may mutate a third arm because of "taurine"
I got into my car and opened the drink. I was fearing the worst: Another "Coke Blak", which was a hybrid of Coke and coffee. The French version is better; it has a better balance of sugar to drink. Regardless, I sniffed it and it smelled more like normal coffee. I took a sip and it reminded me of those glass Starbucks Frappucino drinks, the Coffee variety. I drank up, savoring the taste. The can also looks quite cool.
According to the bottle it has 1/2 the caffeine of normal coffee. I'd assume the "energy" comes from such scary-sounding additives such as "taurine" and "ginseng." Regardless, I have an immunity to energy drinks whereby I will stay awake longer, but not actually feel energized. I am willing to wager that not even PCP would get me pumped.
Overall I'd rate the drink 4.5/5. It's delicious, but does not really deliver on the promise of energy. If you see it, try it out. I will post a review of the other 2 versions here as well, if I remember.
Pros:
Tastes good
Supposedly energizing
You look more badass and it has more liquid than the Starbucks coffee (sorry Starbucks)
Cons:
It's probably pricey
You may mutate a third arm because of "taurine"
