Relationships

2008-02-06 15:18:38

#1

2tuff: Positive Karma Here!; +357|7261

I need some help in deepening the relationships in my life. (I know, I know, internet forum not the place to be asking...blah blah blah. GTFO if thats your mentality.)

So here's me: I'm real outgoing, decently popular, have good people skills, and talk with lots of people every day. I have plenty of "friends" and know loads of people and have no problem making friends with new people...the thing I lack is the ability to deepen my relationships.

Whether it be with girls or just guy friends I cant seem to really elevate any of my relationships into anything more than just school/work buddies. Dont get me wrong, I do go out on weekends, but those I wanna chill with already have their "groups" and I often feel slighted and somewhat left out.

I have the ability to know and chat with many people, just its tough for me to get those "close friends" or that "special girlfriend".

Just looking for some tips or insight on how to strengthen/deepen my relationships.

And no, this is not a girly pussy post...im looking for serious answers

Last edited by 2tuff (2008-02-06 15:19:05)

2008-02-06 15:22:09

#2

dark110: Member; +37|7107|Chicagoland

have you ever considerd becoming bisexual like Elton John? It worked out pretty good for him.

2008-02-06 15:26:47

#3

Varegg: Support fanatic :-); +2,206|7295|Nårvei

I know the feeling ... have always been that way myself, i have tons of friends but only one really close one, i guess it's the way we are - really outgoing personalities but maybe a tad afraid of commitment ?

Wait behind the line ..............................................................

2008-02-06 15:30:49

#4

Microwave: _; +515|7140|Loughborough Uni / Leeds, UK

Try trusting one of your better friends with something - a secret, something physical (as examples). Gradually building it up so it becomes a mutual thing.

That way you get closer with people as they realise their importance to you and therefore give you more back.

2008-02-06 15:31:48

#5

bennisboy: Member; +829|7131|Poundland

Try jus finding someone you can have a good time with, if they spend time in a group, get to know the group as well, afterall you said you make friends easily. In time, you'll find someone who you trust with your secrets, and who will trust you with theirs.

As for girls, how old are you? I recommend steering clear for a while

2008-02-06 15:35:27

#6

SEREMAKER: BABYMAKIN EXPERT √; +2,187|7053|Mountains of NC

try ...................... mail order brides

https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/17445/carhartt.jpg

2008-02-06 15:46:17

#7

TC.Troy: Let the rough side drag; +111|7058

Man...I gotta chime in on this one.

In all seriousness, all you can do is be who you are, nothing more, nor less. You cant really try to elevate a relationship. It'll happen, or it wont...thats been my experience over 40 years anyway.

With friends of the same sex, it can be a bit easier to accomplish. Relationships with the opposite sex...thats gonna happen on its own, or not at all. I mean, sure, you can go all out to "get the girl" or whatever, but what have you done really? You've probably acted, or done things you wouldnt do in a day to day relationship, so truth and honesty within yourself and shown plainly to others is the only way imo. To find and maintain a relationship such as you are disscussing, you need truth, reality, and time...

Nothing in regard to human behavior is set in stone, and there are no "hard and fast" rules. People are squirrely animals.

Maybe you can gleen a bit of something from this, or you may think I'm nuts hehe, but either way, the above have been my experience in life.

hope it helps

2008-02-06 17:46:04

#8

2tuff: Positive Karma Here!; +357|7261

bennisboy wrote:
As for girls, how old are you? I recommend steering clear for a while

o.0

I'm 19, and probably get more action in a week than you do in a month. Thanks.
________________________

At the other posts, thanks, some quality replys

Last edited by 2tuff (2008-02-06 17:46:54)

2008-02-06 18:22:09

#9

sportsman11-2cool4u: We can be those mistakes!; +98|6812|USA Biznatch!

Hmm with popularity you gotta keep your rep. I've ruined my rep by stupid things before but got it back easily. Keeping rep is a lot of key things.

1. Friends - Don't hang out with "nerds" or "geeks" w/e. Keep with the medium to high popular kids.

2. Talking - Try and talk with people a lot in school but be careful what you say. Talk on the phone is also good.

3. Hangout places - Try and hang out with lots of people keep it mixed up. Like the movies, mall, or any other place is good.

4. Girls - Now this is KEY for boys. Me personally I have more girl friends then I have boys that are my friends (Hah, sorry for the wording but you should get my point). You have to learn to flirt--make girls laugh.

There are way more. But I'm too lazy. Now if you need player tips or girlfriend tips shoot me an email with $9.95 enclosed. Haha jk, but seriously if you need more info hit me up.

2008-02-06 18:26:11

#10

Flaming_Maniac: prince of insufficient light; +2,490|7192|67.222.138.85

sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:
Hmm with popularity you gotta keep your rep. I've ruined my rep by stupid things before but got it back easily. Keeping rep is a lot of key things.

1. Friends - Don't hang out with "nerds" or "geeks" w/e. Keep with the medium to high popular kids.

2. Talking - Try and talk with people a lot in school but be careful what you say. Talk on the phone is also good.

3. Hangout places - Try and hang out with lots of people keep it mixed up. Like the movies, mall, or any other place is good.

4. Girls - Now this is KEY for boys. Me personally I have more girl friends then I have boys that are my friends (Hah, sorry for the wording but you should get my point). You have to learn to flirt--make girls laugh.

There are way more. But I'm too lazy. Now if you need player tips or girlfriend tips shoot me an email with $9.95 enclosed. Haha jk, but seriously if you need more info hit me up.

Listen to this guy. He's freakin' smart.

2008-02-06 18:34:31

#11

HurricaИe: Banned; +877|6446|Washington DC

sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:
Hmm with popularity you gotta keep your rep. I've ruined my rep by stupid things before but got it back easily. Keeping rep is a lot of key things.

1. Friends - Don't hang out with "nerds" or "geeks" w/e. Keep with the medium to high popular kids.

...you do realize your "rep" doesn't mean shit because you'll never see most of the people in your high school ever again, right?

2008-02-06 18:35:41

#12

Miggle: FUCK UBISOFT; +1,411|7227|FUCK UBISOFT

HurricaИe wrote:
sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:
Hmm with popularity you gotta keep your rep. I've ruined my rep by stupid things before but got it back easily. Keeping rep is a lot of key things.

1. Friends - Don't hang out with "nerds" or "geeks" w/e. Keep with the medium to high popular kids.
...you do realize your "rep" doesn't mean shit because you'll never see most of the people in your high school ever again, right?

Listen to this guy. He's freakin' smart.

2008-02-06 18:39:56

#13

sportsman11-2cool4u: We can be those mistakes!; +98|6812|USA Biznatch!

Miguel Diaz wrote:
HurricaИe wrote:
sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:
Hmm with popularity you gotta keep your rep. I've ruined my rep by stupid things before but got it back easily. Keeping rep is a lot of key things.

1. Friends - Don't hang out with "nerds" or "geeks" w/e. Keep with the medium to high popular kids.
...you do realize your "rep" doesn't mean shit because you'll never see most of the people in your high school ever again, right?
Listen to this guy. He's freakin' smart.

I'm sorry. Ok your right I can't argue with you on that. But I personally would like to live life to the fullest. I mean sure you won't see them. But just looking back years after looking at once was a popular guy but now your older, not as great isn't that a great feeling? I mean you have one childhood live it dude. Make it fun not some boring life. I wouldn't like to look back knowing I could of done something to make my life worth it.

2008-02-06 18:44:16

#14

HurricaИe: Banned; +877|6446|Washington DC

sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:
Miguel Diaz wrote:
HurricaИe wrote:

...you do realize your "rep" doesn't mean shit because you'll never see most of the people in your high school ever again, right?
Listen to this guy. He's freakin' smart.
I'm sorry. Ok your right I can't argue with you on that. But I personally would like to live life to the fullest. I mean sure you won't see them. But just looking back years after looking at once was a popular guy but now your older, not as great isn't that a great feeling? I mean you have one childhood live it dude. Make it fun not some boring life. I wouldn't like to look back knowing I could of done something to make my life worth it.

Meh, I hang out with the "nerds" mainly because I AM a nerd (posting on a gaming forum adds a few nerd points already ). Sure I'd like to be more popular / chill with more girls but I still have fun and hey, it's good company.

2008-02-06 18:45:55

#15

Miggle: FUCK UBISOFT; +1,411|7227|FUCK UBISOFT

just hang out with everybody, cliques are for losers you dont need them.

2008-02-06 18:49:52

#16

sportsman11-2cool4u: We can be those mistakes!; +98|6812|USA Biznatch!

HurricaИe wrote:
Meh, I hang out with the "nerds" mainly because I AM a nerd (posting on a gaming forum adds a few nerd points already ). Sure I'd like to be more popular / chill with more girls but I still have fun and hey, it's good company.

I see. Just go by whatever you have fun there's no limit..Just shoot big and you might hit the target..hah.

Miguel Diaz wrote:
just hang out with everybody, cliques are for losers you dont need them.

Cliques are for people with limited friends. I hang out with different people as I like to keep it mixed.

2008-02-06 18:50:17

#17

HurricaИe: Banned; +877|6446|Washington DC

Also, sorry if I came off as hostile... I'm in a bad mood

2008-02-06 18:54:58

#18

sportsman11-2cool4u: We can be those mistakes!; +98|6812|USA Biznatch!

HurricaИe wrote:
Also, sorry if I came off as hostile... I'm in a bad mood

It's ok dude. Just vent it out .

2008-02-06 19:00:08

#19

RAVENMkXV: Member; +9|6701|Florida

Well, if you are looking for or trying to get a deep relationship, stop, because it will
not happen. Let things play out and don't try so hard to get a girlfriend. One thing I can
tell you is you will immediately notice when you think you are getting into a serious, deep
relationship, it will be totally different from the rest. Another thing is, communication is key
when in comes to forming a deep relationship. One of my good friends in school that I really
liked started liking me back and we literally spent hours each night talking on the phone about
things in life and just various things. But once again, don't rush looking for a deep relationship,
because if it comes along and you are not ready for it, it will suck losing it because it will take
its toll on you.

2008-02-06 19:36:23

#20

Des.Kmal: Member; +917|7103|Atlanta, Georgia, USA

Varegg wrote:
I know the feeling ... have always been that way myself, i have tons of friends but only one really close one, i guess it's the way we are - really outgoing personalities but maybe a tad afraid of commitment ?

yeah, i got a shit load of friends but like, 5 REAL friends.

Add me on Origin for Battlefield 4 fun: DesKmal

2008-02-06 19:42:11

#21

ThaReaper: Banned; +410|7125

I'm really popular and look at me... I talk to you losers on BF2s =P. Lol jk, I like this community.

2008-02-06 19:51:44

#22

trippy982: Member; +34|6883

You're 19 right? Don't worry, most people at that age are trying to figure out who they are and focusing on themselves to actually care about others, so finding meaningful people to really bond with will be really limited. Add in the mix of teenager hormones, the willingness to be cool and popular (aka "rep") and all fake, selfishness, etc.. will make forming any real relationship a lot harder. Good thing is, most people you see at your highschool, you'll never see them again. However, if you're having this issue later in college, then there's something wrong with you because by that time most people got life all figure out and instead of focusing inward, there actually focusing outward and looking for meaningful relationship. you just happen to be ahead of the curve me thinks. Just chill, be patient, those meaningful relationship you're talking about will come.

In highschool, the quickest way to form those "deep" relationship, would probably be joining a football team. Those jocks tend to have "meaningful" relationships...(although I think its pretty shallow, but its a good quick fix for now)

2008-02-07 01:54:20

#23

Varegg: Support fanatic :-); +2,206|7295|Nårvei

Flaming_Maniac wrote:
sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:
Hmm with popularity you gotta keep your rep. I've ruined my rep by stupid things before but got it back easily. Keeping rep is a lot of key things.

1. Friends - Don't hang out with "nerds" or "geeks" w/e. Keep with the medium to high popular kids.

2. Talking - Try and talk with people a lot in school but be careful what you say. Talk on the phone is also good.

3. Hangout places - Try and hang out with lots of people keep it mixed up. Like the movies, mall, or any other place is good.

4. Girls - Now this is KEY for boys. Me personally I have more girl friends then I have boys that are my friends (Hah, sorry for the wording but you should get my point). You have to learn to flirt--make girls laugh.

There are way more. But I'm too lazy. Now if you need player tips or girlfriend tips shoot me an email with $9.95 enclosed. Haha jk, but seriously if you need more info hit me up.
Listen to this guy. He's freakin' smart.

I hope you meant that ironic Flaming cause those statements was way too shallow.

You hang out with people you feel comfortable with aka having the same interests not how cool or popular they are, a common teenager misconception, like Hurricat said seldom does one evolve into a deeper relationship with friends from high school.

Wait behind the line ..............................................................

2008-02-07 01:59:44

#24

Mekstizzle: WALKER; +3,611|7106|London, England

Do what I do. Give up. Even if girls are actually going after you at clubs and shit.

Give up. Find a couple of mates in similar positions. And get drunk on a regular occasion and salute to the fact that all girls are bitches and are not even worth a one night stand anymore.

And I'm only fucking 18 - meaning I aint had many one night stands, but still.

Last edited by Mek-Izzle (2008-02-07 02:00:31)

2008-02-07 03:42:40

#25

bennisboy: Member; +829|7131|Poundland

2tuff wrote:
bennisboy wrote:
As for girls, how old are you? I recommend steering clear for a while
o.0

I'm 19, and probably get more action in a week than you do in a month. Thanks.
________________________

At the other posts, thanks, some quality replys

lol. talk about over-sensitive. I meant they cause more trouble than they're worth.

As for more action in a week than I do in a month, well I doubt that highly, I'm a fresher at uni and making the most of it when it comes to girls

BF2S Forums Relationships

bennisboy wrote:

sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:

sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:

HurricaИe wrote:

sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:

Miguel Diaz wrote:

HurricaИe wrote:

sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:

sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:

Miguel Diaz wrote:

HurricaИe wrote:

HurricaИe wrote:

Miguel Diaz wrote:

HurricaИe wrote:

Varegg wrote:

Flaming_Maniac wrote:

sportsman11-2cool4u wrote:

2tuff wrote:

bennisboy wrote:

Board footer