I leave the door wide open and cup my butthole with my hands so the sounds resonate better.
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We used to have a guy in our office who would laugh as he was dropping deuces (Humility was not his thing). It must have been something fierce too. Everyone could hear him launching his rouge asteroids. I swear to god they must have been pulling at least 2 G's before impact.
Xbone Stormsurgezz
Strange about the water, women in general are more modest about about things coming outta there ass.... or in sometimes. (drum roll).Bagel_Bites wrote:
but I already know what she's doing in there.
I never got why people are afraid to make a little noise in the bathroom. Kinda silly if you ask me. Everyone poops. Amiright?
Hell, I've even heard of people turning on the shower to mask the noise of their natural bodily functions. Anyone else the same way? If not, do you find it as ridiculous as I do?
I usually have a microphone hooked up I put near my toilet that goes up to a P.A. speaker on the roof to piss off the neighbors with the poop symphony of sounds...
I almost managed to fart out "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple after a particularly hard night of drinking followed by a late night Taco bell run.
Christ, Imagine the splash back, he would have to stick his arse up to the electric automatic dryer (if you had those) once he had finished.Kmarion wrote:
We used to have a guy in our office who would laugh as he was dropping deuces (Humility was not his thing). It must have been something fierce too. Everyone could hear him launching his rouge asteroids. I swear to god they must have been pulling at least 2 G's before impact.
Either that or use the freshly pressed hand towels provided, erggh
I already know what she's doing in there.....oh r you really sure about that?...maybe you're not good enough in bed with her and she has to do it her selfBagel_Bites wrote:
but I already know what she's doing in there.
I never got why people are afraid to make a little noise in the bathroom. Kinda silly if you ask me. Everyone poops. Amiright?
Hell, I've even heard of people turning on the shower to mask the noise of their natural bodily functions. Anyone else the same way? If not, do you find it as ridiculous as I do?
I so misinterpreted that title. I imagined her sitting on the sink n turnin around. Then read your ppost and was like "how the hell would that mask the sound? sShe's just weird"
I guess for women it is not very feminine to sound like a trumpet when they go #2. My GF turns on the radio when she goes.....I tell her I can still hear her go
Who's worse, the person turning on the radio and doing weird shit like that. Or the person listening in...
Personally, it aint none of my business what goes on in there. So I just don't even think about it
Personally, it aint none of my business what goes on in there. So I just don't even think about it
As long as once she finished it don't look like the starting grid of Silverstone I don't care.Mek-Izzle wrote:
Who's worse, the person turning on the radio and doing weird shit like that. Or the person listening in...
Personally, it aint none of my business what goes on in there. So I just don't even think about it
My habits are I have to take my t-shirt, shirt, jumper off.
I continually ask the kids if they will warm the seat up for me first but to no joy, they won't. I have locked my Nephew in the small, very small toilet we once had and made him cry due to the fumes I had left.
Thats not the case for everyone.Deadmonkiefart wrote:
If I am cold and I want to wash my hands with warm water, I turn the faucet on hot before I do my business. This is because my faucet takes up to five minuets for the water to warm up. By the time I am done the water is usually the perfect temperature.
never heard my girl poop, fart or burp....not in the almost four years we have been together.
she went to finishing school and all that shit....she just looks at me with disgust when i hang out with my hand in my pants, or let out a big ass burp while im eating. but i have never farted in front of her...we kinda have a deal.
she went to finishing school and all that shit....she just looks at me with disgust when i hang out with my hand in my pants, or let out a big ass burp while im eating. but i have never farted in front of her...we kinda have a deal.
How can you tell the difference between a Woman and a Lady?Parker wrote:
never heard my girl poop, fart or burp....not in the almost four years we have been together.
A Lady will always stand up to fart in the bath
Sounds like a joke but its true, whats also true is when you tell this to your Woman/Lady she will say "Well thats Ok I don't fart"......yeah right.
Poor Rizla in my house gets kicked and blame for everything, she does fart but Staff's are known for it.
Oh and a another thing, I now lock the bathroom door when having a soak, I never used to but the Mrs would barge her way in and squat on the bog, there would be no hissing watery sound, instead some gassy strained "parrrrrrp" sound and then the usual pebble dash noise, follwed by a "Buddncskkkshhh" noise.
Evil she I tell you, evil. I soon put a stop to that though.
Last edited by 1927 (2008-03-13 07:05:15)
When you get married, it is no big deal. I have, on occasions, sat by the door while my wife has done her business while we talked about issues or things we are doing or whatever. No big deal.
...Bagel_Bites wrote:
...
I never got why people are afraid to make a little noise in the bathroom.
...
Well I don't make any noise. No farts, no "squelchs", no "pffftts", etc etc. Just a long, smooth, quiet turd dropping down like a torpedo out of a submarine. Kind of like buttseks but in reverse.
Well either you been getting buttseks maybe or have the perfect diet?GraphicArtist J wrote:
...Bagel_Bites wrote:
...
I never got why people are afraid to make a little noise in the bathroom.
...
Well I don't make any noise. No farts, no "squelchs", no "pffftts", etc etc. Just a long, smooth, quiet turd dropping down like a torpedo out of a submarine. Kind of like buttseks but in reverse.
I bet you every so often your Torpedo turns into a "Phantom Poo"? Thats when you look down and to your shock and horror, its vanished.
it didn't want to leave,1927 wrote:
Well either you been getting buttseks maybe or have the perfect diet?GraphicArtist J wrote:
...Bagel_Bites wrote:
...
I never got why people are afraid to make a little noise in the bathroom.
...
Well I don't make any noise. No farts, no "squelchs", no "pffftts", etc etc. Just a long, smooth, quiet turd dropping down like a torpedo out of a submarine. Kind of like buttseks but in reverse.
I bet you every so often your Torpedo turns into a "Phantom Poo"? Thats when you look down and to your shock and horror, its vanished.
now maybe a bit noise can't hurt, but too much is too much < yeah great alf, anyway... we were in a Hotel once (long story) had to share a room, and my roommate was shitting on toilet like if a Hippo was screaming at you... trust me, you don't wanna use the toilet after that...
think men don't care, women do.
It's a normal thing, crapping, but you must understand how women feel about it with people hearing etc.
Just say to her you can steal hear her anyway, all she's doing is wasting water. Laugh with the shock of horror that's on her face.
Ditto.bennisboy wrote:
I so misinterpreted that title. I imagined her sitting on the sink n turnin around. Then read your ppost and was like "how the hell would that mask the sound? sShe's just weird"
Not that this thread can reach any lower but there was probably a blood trail from the bathroom back to his bed as if he'd been shot like a wounded deer.^*AlphA*^ wrote:
it didn't want to leave,1927 wrote:
Well either you been getting buttseks maybe or have the perfect diet?GraphicArtist J wrote:
...
Well I don't make any noise. No farts, no "squelchs", no "pffftts", etc etc. Just a long, smooth, quiet turd dropping down like a torpedo out of a submarine. Kind of like buttseks but in reverse.
I bet you every so often your Torpedo turns into a "Phantom Poo"? Thats when you look down and to your shock and horror, its vanished.
now maybe a bit noise can't hurt, but too much is too much < yeah great alf, anyway... we were in a Hotel once (long story) had to share a room, and my roommate was shitting on toilet like if a Hippo was screaming at you... trust me, you don't wanna use the toilet after that...
think men don't care, women do.
How do you explain his akward "John Wayne" walk and the noises to fellow guests over breakfast the next morning?
Apples poop??
I'm sure your girlfriend is happy to know you talk about what she does in the bathroom.
When I go to a public bathroom, I shout "BOMB BAY DOORS OPEN!!!!!", then I poop and say "BOMBS AWAY!!!!!!!" jk
When I go to a public bathroom, I shout "BOMB BAY DOORS OPEN!!!!!", then I poop and say "BOMBS AWAY!!!!!!!" jk
Last edited by Bradt3hleader (2008-03-13 09:11:22)
Public bathroom?? Public Bathroom?? You don't know how lucky you are fella.Bradt3hleader wrote:
I'm sure your girlfriend is happy to know you talk about what she does in the bathroom.
When I go to a public bathroom, I shout "BOMB BAY DOORS OPEN!!!!!", then I poop and say "BOMBS AWAY!!!!!!!" jk
I can go in only the following:
My Home
My Works
My Mums Old house (makes it akward the house is 2 hours away but very handy when Im up that way visiting my Sister or mates who live close by)
That was the Catholic version, actually.Mutantsteak wrote:
Everybody poops but you, or the more Christian friendly version Nobody Poops But You And That's Pure, Concentrated Evil Coming Out The Back of You.
I think it's funny as hell, I was using the bathroom at Barnes & Noble while I was christmas shopping and this guy was in the stall, when I turned on the sink to wash my hands, he took the opportunity to grunt it out.
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