well me and my friends were chillin and i was messin around and a kinda chubby girl i new was like "why don't u stop?" and i said "why don't u stop eating?". and after i felt bad.
I remembered another. Me and my mate always randomly shout "NIGGGGGGGERS" When no one else is around or we are in the house.
There was a picture of a black guy on some shop with a "OH LAWDS" face. It was 2am so I said it out loud and we laughed. Turned around and there was two massive black guys right there. I was shitting it.
There was a picture of a black guy on some shop with a "OH LAWDS" face. It was 2am so I said it out loud and we laughed. Turned around and there was two massive black guys right there. I was shitting it.
around blacks...White-Fusion wrote:
I remembered another. Me and my mate always randomly shout "NIGGGGGGGERS" When no one else is around or we are in the house.
There was a picture of a black guy on some shop with a "OH LAWDS" face. It was 2am so I said it out loud and we laughed. Turned around and there was two massive black guys right there. I was shitting it.
never relax?HurricaИe wrote:
around blacks...White-Fusion wrote:
I remembered another. Me and my mate always randomly shout "NIGGGGGGGERS" When no one else is around or we are in the house.
There was a picture of a black guy on some shop with a "OH LAWDS" face. It was 2am so I said it out loud and we laughed. Turned around and there was two massive black guys right there. I was shitting it.
I was in my homeroom during my senior year (that was over 10 years ago ... OH SHI I can't believe its been that long) but anyway I was sittin there in the back row ( I think it was May bc it was close to graduation ) then alll of sudden Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down and I liked to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel air
Oh shi- just got bel-aired!....Cleverly done my dear!SEREMAKER wrote:
I was in my homeroom during my senior year (that was over 10 years ago ... OH SHI I can't believe its been that long) but anyway I was sittin there in the back row ( I think it was May bc it was close to graduation ) then alll of sudden Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down and I liked to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel air
i told a joke that went something like, a couple are giving birth and the doctor picks the baby up and starts throwing it around at walls, the floor, and the ceiling, then turns to the horrified couple and says just kidding it was already dead. i didnt know this chick that was there had an abortion a few years ago and her mother recently gave birth to dead twins. instant crying...
ouchA12345 wrote:
i told a joke that went something like, a couple are giving birth and the doctor picks the baby up and starts throwing it around at walls, the floor, and the ceiling, then turns to the horrified couple and says just kidding it was already dead. i didnt know this chick that was there had an abortion a few years ago and her mother recently gave birth to dead twins. instant crying...
Back when I was a senior in high school, there was some assembly we went to and they were giving out awards to outstanding students and crap like that. Well the announcer says, "And now we'd like to award a few special people who got over 1000 hours of community service!" Then I leaned over to my friend and said, "You mean people who wasted over 1000 hours of their lives." He chuckles uneasily, and then they call his name and he's one of the few other people up there getting an award. I felt so bad. I said sorry when he sat back down and he said it was cool. I still felt guilty as hell though.
Oh and then one time I was at work (student TV station) and we were watching a video our boss (not a student) made. There was a shot that was slowly zooming out and showed some people on campus, including a very large man in a blue shirt. One person said emphatically, "Oh I'm in love with that shot!" Then I said sarcastically, "Oh I'm in love with that sexy beast in blue!" A few people laughed, but my boss just kind of gave me a passive-aggressive look. Then someone else said to me later, "Matt that guy is his good friend!" Once again, I felt so shitty
Oh and then one time I was at work (student TV station) and we were watching a video our boss (not a student) made. There was a shot that was slowly zooming out and showed some people on campus, including a very large man in a blue shirt. One person said emphatically, "Oh I'm in love with that shot!" Then I said sarcastically, "Oh I'm in love with that sexy beast in blue!" A few people laughed, but my boss just kind of gave me a passive-aggressive look. Then someone else said to me later, "Matt that guy is his good friend!" Once again, I felt so shitty
ahahahahhahahA12345 wrote:
i told a joke that went something like, a couple are giving birth and the doctor picks the baby up and starts throwing it around at walls, the floor, and the ceiling, then turns to the horrified couple and says just kidding it was already dead. i didnt know this chick that was there had an abortion a few years ago and her mother recently gave birth to dead twins. instant crying...
I had just gone to the store for some more beers, walked into my house party, and at the top of my lungs yelled...
"FUCK YOU COUCH NIGGER!"
not realising that my roomies four BIG, (NFL LINEBACKER SIZE), black friends had arrived while I was gone. the room went DEAD silent, and the biggest of 'em got in my face and said....
"CHARLIE MURPHY!"
they knew I wasn't being a racist, and we had joked about that episode b4. Everyone else thought I was "GOIN TO GET RAPED"
Edit: spelling
"FUCK YOU COUCH NIGGER!"
not realising that my roomies four BIG, (NFL LINEBACKER SIZE), black friends had arrived while I was gone. the room went DEAD silent, and the biggest of 'em got in my face and said....
"CHARLIE MURPHY!"
they knew I wasn't being a racist, and we had joked about that episode b4. Everyone else thought I was "GOIN TO GET RAPED"
Edit: spelling
Last edited by Zilla (2008-05-29 20:08:38)
Good oneZilla wrote:
I had just gone to the store for some more beers, walked into my house party, and at the top of my lungs yelled...
"FUCK YOU COUCH NIGGER!"
not realising that my roomies four BIG, (NFL LINEBACKER SIZE), black friends had arrived while I was gone. the room went DEAD silent, and the biggest of 'em got in my face and said....
"CHARLIE MURPHY!"
they knew I wasn't being a racist, and we had joke about that episode b4. Everyone else thought I was "GOIN TO GET RAPED"
Last edited by ebug9 (2008-05-29 19:01:45)
my friend's sister has a gay friend and he called looking for my friend's sister. so my friend answers and he asks if shes around, and he says that shes at work, and hes like aw damn, and my friend said "i know, gay isn't it?", then he looked at me like wooooops. idk, i don't think its that bad to say, but i wont go out of my way to say it when a gay person is around.
A female friend of mine was whinging to me about how every one in her netball team called her behemoth, to which I said 'fat jokes are really cruel' then she gives me this dirty look and icily informs me that they call her that beacause she is tall. Foot in mouth I think so.
DAYUMHooch Pandersnatch wrote:
A female friend of mine was whinging to me about how every one in her netball team called her behemoth, to which I said 'fat jokes are really cruel' then she gives me this dirty look and icily informs me that they call her that beacause she is tall. Foot in mouth I think so.
Victory.SEREMAKER wrote:
I was in my homeroom during my senior year (that was over 10 years ago ... OH SHI I can't believe its been that long) but anyway I was sittin there in the back row ( I think it was May bc it was close to graduation ) then alll of sudden Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down and I liked to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel air
I was in Spanish and this fat girl was bragging about something and i said " what do you want a cookie?" then i said "what am i saying of coarse you do.''
Kyle your original one isn't even funny or witty man, you coulda at least made a tense "your mum" comment at some time- you know, something casual that you say without realising that then creates tension and hideous awkwardness. "Yeah well, your mum's dead" is just ouch... not even below the belt man, it's below the earth.
I wish I hadn't told that hooker I loved her before contracting AIDS and having my wallet stolen. That was a raw deal.
I wish I hadn't told that hooker I loved her before contracting AIDS and having my wallet stolen. That was a raw deal.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
about a month back i met this chick at a bar, and we hit it off pretty well...
we were sitting in my car talking after the bar closed and i asked, "so how many of those guys in the bar have been inside you?".
nothing but class right here, gentlemen
we were sitting in my car talking after the bar closed and i asked, "so how many of those guys in the bar have been inside you?".
nothing but class right here, gentlemen
"Things you just wish you hadn't said.."Uzique wrote:
Kyle your original one isn't even funny or witty man, you coulda at least made a tense "your mum" comment at some time- you know, something casual that you say without realising that then creates tension and hideous awkwardness. "Yeah well, your mum's dead" is just ouch... not even below the belt man, it's below the earth.
I wish I hadn't told that hooker I loved her before contracting AIDS and having my wallet stolen. That was a raw deal.
lol'dMAGUIRE93 wrote:
I was in Spanish and this fat girl was bragging about something and i said " what do you want a cookie?" then i said "what am i saying of coarse you do.''
i said my mom was dead on xbox and a friend of mines mother had died a couple of months back and i didnt know. i felt really bad after when he told me.Uzique wrote:
Kyle your original one isn't even funny or witty man, you coulda at least made a tense "your mum" comment at some time- you know, something casual that you say without realising that then creates tension and hideous awkwardness. "Yeah well, your mum's dead" is just ouch... not even below the belt man, it's below the earth.
I wish I hadn't told that hooker I loved her before contracting AIDS and having my wallet stolen. That was a raw deal.
The mom died without realising it? Neat trick.Poseidon wrote:
"Hey, Jamie. Nice tits".
"-gasp-".
No, that never happened...I'm not ballsy enough to say that. Worst thing I've ever said was probably along the lines of what you said...but not "your mom's dead", just "your mom -insert insult here-" to a kid who's mom died without realizing it.
Besides, that girl's a skankassbitchwhore in reality so
incorrectly reading a post from over half a year ago = true failSirSchloppy wrote:
The mom died without realising it? Neat trick.Poseidon wrote:
"Hey, Jamie. Nice tits".
"-gasp-".
No, that never happened...I'm not ballsy enough to say that. Worst thing I've ever said was probably along the lines of what you said...but not "your mom's dead", just "your mom -insert insult here-" to a kid who's mom died without realizing it.
Besides, that girl's a skankassbitchwhore in reality so
Poseidon wrote:
incorrectly reading a post from over half a year ago = true failSirSchloppy wrote:
The mom died without realising it? Neat trick.Poseidon wrote:
"Hey, Jamie. Nice tits".
"-gasp-".
No, that never happened...I'm not ballsy enough to say that. Worst thing I've ever said was probably along the lines of what you said...but not "your mom's dead", just "your mom -insert insult here-" to a kid who's mom died without realizing it.
Besides, that girl's a skankassbitchwhore in reality so
o.O And why have you done that?!?! Still is pretty funnyParker wrote:
about a month back i met this chick at a bar, and we hit it off pretty well...
we were sitting in my car talking after the bar closed and i asked, "so how many of those guys in the bar have been inside you?".
nothing but class right here, gentlemen