Poll

Has Mack's unl33tness increased?

Yes59%59% - 13
No18%18% - 4
Not significantly; starting values remain undiscussed0%0% - 0
I'm not particularly psychologically gifted22%22% - 5
Total: 22
Lai
Member
+186|6617
Yesterday aired the long announced new season of 'Future Weapons' in Holland. Though I consider Mack to be a prick and though the way in which the show is presented - 100% positive, praising attributes that one should take for granted by now (ZOMG it's ambidextrous), contradicting everything in the next episode - always makes me feel like I'm watching a militarized version of 'Tell Sell'; I settled on the couch hoping to at least pick up some new details. After all, even though the show could be so much better without the Hollywood clichés, I know of no other show with covers the subject and provides so much footage.

Mack was in Israel discussing two new doorbreachers (great,.. we haven't had those on the show yet) and yet again interupted one of the designers to repeat what he just said in simplified language for people that have a <99 words vocabulary, as he proceeded to repeat what he himself had just repeated. So far nothing new to the formula. Too bad, because it couldn't possibly get any worse, could it?

Since all weapons and tools were Israeli made, why not braid it into a small story? Not one of Mack's infamous explanatory re-enactments this time, but one that spanned the whole episode. Mack and 'his' SF team in full armour, though of course without helmets, since that would mess up Mack's beautifull hair,.. oh wait,.. he hasn't got any! In any case they stormed the compound of certainly-not-Palestine terrorists where, beneath a improvised corrugated iron roof,  some cheap local prostitutes diplomats were held with splashes of tomato ketchup applied carefully on their brow, as they sat huddled together on a matras, screaming like Maria Callas, but without the vocal quality. After Mack tediously plied appart some Western style (Western with a capital W, like with Clint Eastwood, not geographically) jailbars, the SF team entered the cardboard building. One of Mack's teammates took out a guard with a kitten disguised cornershot. Obviously this variant of the cornershot had not left the testfase as they hadn't yet cut a hole for the barrel, resulting in the poor kitten's polyester brains being splashed to the four wind of heaven. The prostitutes diplomats were loaded in one of the terrorists APC's (note taht since it can be really hot in the Levant, the APC was of the Chevvy Convertable type) and our heroes sped away, Mack vigourously spraying his 9mm Tavor on full auto at some of the corrugated iron roofs. They drove up a sand dune, fully exposing the open top of the APC and the prostitutes diplomats to 7,62x39 M43 fire, but like a katana glittering in the sun, Mack's magnificently absent hair reflected the sunlight in the threefold holy land, dazzling the Palestinians terrorists, who gripped their AK's firmly at the magazine and sent some rounds in the direction of Mack's ally, the pagan God Helios. Concluding, Mack commented that there was nothing as good as rescueing some prostitutes diplomats damsels in distress,.. he truly was the knight in rusty playskool armour on his albino chihuahua.



I was liek WTF???

Last edited by liquidat0r (2008-06-23 07:16:15)

GateKeeper{NL}
Member
+142|6836
"always makes me feel like I'm watching a militarized version of 'Tell Sell';"

"faling of his chair"
Bernadictus
Moderator
+1,055|7203

I watched FW too. And I always enjoyed the show. Could not really care if it were Mac hosting the show or Richard Hammond.
I prefer to watch the weapons, and what they are capable of. It's not a blockbuster movie. I could care less about mack.
Just bring me the bigger guns!
Doctor Strangelove
Real Battlefield Veterinarian.
+1,758|6935

Bernadictus wrote:

I watched FW too. And I always enjoyed the show. Could not really care if it were Mac hosting the show or Richard Hammond.
I prefer to watch the weapons, and what they are capable of. It's not a blockbuster movie. I could care less about mack.
Just bring me the bigger guns!
I think that FutureWeapons would be pure if hosted by the TopGear guys.
kptk92
u
+972|6875|tc_london
Yes
Mekstizzle
WALKER
+3,611|7087|London, England
I think I know what episode you're talking about, fucking hilarious. Fuck that show man.
Lynx14
Member
+41|6437
God I hate mack. Enough with the whispering speak the fuck up >_>.
Poseidon
Fudgepack DeQueef
+3,253|7004|Long Island, New York

DoctaStrangelove wrote:

Bernadictus wrote:

I watched FW too. And I always enjoyed the show. Could not really care if it were Mac hosting the show or Richard Hammond.
I prefer to watch the weapons, and what they are capable of. It's not a blockbuster movie. I could care less about mack.
Just bring me the bigger guns!
I think that FutureWeapons would be pure if hosted by the TopGear guys.
YES!
Zombie_Affair
Amputee's...BOOP
+78|6282|Fattest Country in the world.

DoctaStrangelove wrote:

Bernadictus wrote:

I watched FW too. And I always enjoyed the show. Could not really care if it were Mac hosting the show or Richard Hammond.
I prefer to watch the weapons, and what they are capable of. It's not a blockbuster movie. I could care less about mack.
Just bring me the bigger guns!
I think that FutureWeapons would be pure if hosted by the TopGear guys.
Richard Hammond: "This is the L96A1, capable of taking out a target at 1 mile, and my weapon of choice for this challenge"

James May: "I have searched historically for the best weapon of choice that these morons wern't smart enough to do. I'm going to be using the 1932 M1 Garand rifle, capable of *magazine falls out*... "oh cock"

Jeremy Clarkson: While these 2 fumble with their sticks, I'll be taking the Barrett M82, the Lamborghini Gallardo of weapons. Just LOOK at this weapon. If it were a creature, it would be a lion or a praying mantis or even a rhino, Economical, Pratical and capable of blowing your head right off your shoulders"

rofl.

Last edited by Zombie_Affair (2008-06-23 18:55:00)

argo4
Stand and Deliver
+86|6399|United States

Zombie_Affair wrote:

DoctaStrangelove wrote:

Bernadictus wrote:

I watched FW too. And I always enjoyed the show. Could not really care if it were Mac hosting the show or Richard Hammond.
I prefer to watch the weapons, and what they are capable of. It's not a blockbuster movie. I could care less about mack.
Just bring me the bigger guns!
I think that FutureWeapons would be pure if hosted by the TopGear guys.
Richard Hammond: "This is the L96A1, capable of taking out a target at 1 mile, and my weapon of choice for this challenge"

James May: "I have searched historically for the best weapon of choice that these morons wern't smart enough to do. I'm going to be using the 1932 M1 Garand rifle, capable of *magazine falls out*... "oh cock"

Jeremy Clarkson: While these 2 fumble with their sticks, I'll be taking the Barrett M82, the Lamborghini Gallardo of weapons. Just LOOK at this weapon. If it were a creature, it would be a lion or a praying mantis or even a rhino, Economical, Pratical and capable of blowing your head right off your shoulders"

rofl.
Oh. God. Yes. The awesomeness of that show would probably explode the earth
Zombie_Affair
Amputee's...BOOP
+78|6282|Fattest Country in the world.

argo4 wrote:

Oh. God. Yes. The awesomeness of that show would probably explode the earth
Indeed. I hope they do more shows together in future as well as Top Gear.
Doctor Strangelove
Real Battlefield Veterinarian.
+1,758|6935

Zombie_Affair wrote:

DoctaStrangelove wrote:

Bernadictus wrote:

I watched FW too. And I always enjoyed the show. Could not really care if it were Mac hosting the show or Richard Hammond.
I prefer to watch the weapons, and what they are capable of. It's not a blockbuster movie. I could care less about mack.
Just bring me the bigger guns!
I think that FutureWeapons would be pure if hosted by the TopGear guys.
Richard Hammond: "This is the L96A1, capable of taking out a target at 1 mile, and my weapon of choice for this challenge"

James May: "I have searched historically for the best weapon of choice that these morons wern't smart enough to do. I'm going to be using the 1932 M1 Garand rifle, capable of *magazine falls out*... "oh cock"

Jeremy Clarkson: While these 2 fumble with their sticks, I'll be taking the Barrett M82, the Lamborghini Gallardo of weapons. Just LOOK at this weapon. If it were a creature, it would be a lion or a praying mantis or even a rhino, Economical, Pratical and capable of blowing your head right off your shoulders"

rofl.
I think May would be more likely to go for the M1903 Springfield, for no other reason that it's older.
Zombie_Affair
Amputee's...BOOP
+78|6282|Fattest Country in the world.

DoctaStrangelove wrote:

Zombie_Affair wrote:

DoctaStrangelove wrote:


I think that FutureWeapons would be pure if hosted by the TopGear guys.
Richard Hammond: "This is the L96A1, capable of taking out a target at 1 mile, and my weapon of choice for this challenge"

James May: "I have searched historically for the best weapon of choice that these morons wern't smart enough to do. I'm going to be using the 1932 M1 Garand rifle, capable of *magazine falls out*... "oh cock"

Jeremy Clarkson: While these 2 fumble with their sticks, I'll be taking the Barrett M82, the Lamborghini Gallardo of weapons. Just LOOK at this weapon. If it were a creature, it would be a lion or a praying mantis or even a rhino, Economical, Pratical and capable of blowing your head right off your shoulders"

rofl.
I think May would be more likely to go for the M1903 Springfield, for no other reason that it's older.
Heh. Had to go all technical on me Docta .

Board footer

Privacy Policy - © 2025 Jeff Minard