Interviwer: Mr. DICEman, thank you for joining us today.
DICEman:You're welcome, I like to talk about.
Interviewer: About what?
DICEman: You know, these games
Interviewer: Ok, first question is about the 1.2 patch, it seems that it has created a lot more bugs than it fixed.
DICEman: Depends on how you define "bugs"
Interviewer: Well, fatal errors in the game
DICEman: What fatal errors?
Interviewer: Well, like game crashes sometimes
DICEman: So?
Interviewer: You don't see that as a "serious issue"?
DICEman: No, sometimes the game just needs to relax a bit.
Interviewer: Relax? You mean
DICEman: I mean, take a nap or something.
Interviewer: I see... You mean the player needs to relax, or?
DICEman: No, (our) games have feelings, they get tired and need a nap, that's all.
Interviewer: Ok, moving on.
DICEman: Where? Outside? I don't like leaving my office.
Interviewer: Nono, just to another topic.
DICEman: What topic?
Interviewer: Well, a lot of players feel like there is no real BF2 "community".
DICEman: C-o-m-m... what?
Interviewer: Community, players and developers getting together to try and create a better product.
DICEman: Depends on what product we're talking about.
Interviewer: Ehm, Battlefield 2.
DICEman: I haven't heard of any "community" in existence.
Interviewer: So you're saying that DICE doesn't take any input from the players?
DICEman: No I didn't.
Interviewer: You just stated that there is no "Community" in existence?
DICEman: No I didn't
Interviewer: Ahaaa... Well, do you plan on paying attention to the players.
DICEman: I don't have anything to say there, talk to EA.
Interviewer: I see. Well, moving on.
Interviewer: Do you plan including other game modes in Battlefield 2?
DICEman: Yes, in fact, we just got a new coffeee maker at the office, it's quite...
Interviewer: I'm sorry, I was talking about the game.
DICEman: Yes? Oh, game modes. Well that depends on how you define "game mode".
Interviewer: Well, for instance "Capture the flag".
DICEman: Why would you capture the flag?
Interviewer: Well, so there's some variation in the game.
DICEman: You can't capture the flag, it's on a pole bolted to the ground.
Interviewer: I ment
DICEman: I know what you ment, but how would you loose the bolts? The screwdriver isn't big enought for that.
Interviewer: Nono, I ment if you could.
DICEman: I know what you mean. It's not possible. I tried. You cannot take the flag with you, it's stuck on the string on the pole, you can only raise it and lower it. That's all.
Interviewer: Thank you, one final question.
DICEman: Are we going outside now?
Interviewer: Nono.
Interviewer: This regards teh booster packs. Some people feel that a few maps shouldn't cost $10, when other developers release free content all the time.
DICEman: Well, we talked about that and concluded that it's the best financial strategy. With the extra revenue from those maps, we can get decent things for the office, new coffee makers for instance.
Interviewer: So it's more about greed than giving people actual value for money?
DICEman: No. It's about the coffee. You don't know how much the coffee sucked before the new Espresso3000. Also, Boots needs a new chair.
Interviewer: "Boots" Who is Boots?
It's our chimp from Bangladesh. He is our main patch tester here. He's really good.
Interviewer: Wait, are you saying a "monkey" is testing the patches for you?
DICEman: No, not monkey, Chimp, you don't have get all racist now.
Interviewer: I'm sorry, it's just amazing that a "chimp" is testing the patches.
DICEman: He's not alone anymore, we have just got greencards for his brothers, they're quite good as well. Now we have a team, to ensure a quality patch released to the public.
Interviewer: So only monkeys, sorry, chimps are testing the patches.
DICEman: Of course not, we have a group og people testing the patch in Guantanamo Base. These guys have first hand knowledge with...
Interviewer: Ok, I believe that's enough for this time, thank you very much Mr. DICEman, on behalf of the BF2 community, I thank you for your time.
DICEman: Comm-u--uuu, what was that word again?
Interviewer: Nevermind...
*To fully understand and enjoy this interview, you need a sense of humor
DICEman:You're welcome, I like to talk about.
Interviewer: About what?
DICEman: You know, these games
Interviewer: Ok, first question is about the 1.2 patch, it seems that it has created a lot more bugs than it fixed.
DICEman: Depends on how you define "bugs"
Interviewer: Well, fatal errors in the game
DICEman: What fatal errors?
Interviewer: Well, like game crashes sometimes
DICEman: So?
Interviewer: You don't see that as a "serious issue"?
DICEman: No, sometimes the game just needs to relax a bit.
Interviewer: Relax? You mean
DICEman: I mean, take a nap or something.
Interviewer: I see... You mean the player needs to relax, or?
DICEman: No, (our) games have feelings, they get tired and need a nap, that's all.
Interviewer: Ok, moving on.
DICEman: Where? Outside? I don't like leaving my office.
Interviewer: Nono, just to another topic.
DICEman: What topic?
Interviewer: Well, a lot of players feel like there is no real BF2 "community".
DICEman: C-o-m-m... what?
Interviewer: Community, players and developers getting together to try and create a better product.
DICEman: Depends on what product we're talking about.
Interviewer: Ehm, Battlefield 2.
DICEman: I haven't heard of any "community" in existence.
Interviewer: So you're saying that DICE doesn't take any input from the players?
DICEman: No I didn't.
Interviewer: You just stated that there is no "Community" in existence?
DICEman: No I didn't
Interviewer: Ahaaa... Well, do you plan on paying attention to the players.
DICEman: I don't have anything to say there, talk to EA.
Interviewer: I see. Well, moving on.
Interviewer: Do you plan including other game modes in Battlefield 2?
DICEman: Yes, in fact, we just got a new coffeee maker at the office, it's quite...
Interviewer: I'm sorry, I was talking about the game.
DICEman: Yes? Oh, game modes. Well that depends on how you define "game mode".
Interviewer: Well, for instance "Capture the flag".
DICEman: Why would you capture the flag?
Interviewer: Well, so there's some variation in the game.
DICEman: You can't capture the flag, it's on a pole bolted to the ground.
Interviewer: I ment
DICEman: I know what you ment, but how would you loose the bolts? The screwdriver isn't big enought for that.
Interviewer: Nono, I ment if you could.
DICEman: I know what you mean. It's not possible. I tried. You cannot take the flag with you, it's stuck on the string on the pole, you can only raise it and lower it. That's all.
Interviewer: Thank you, one final question.
DICEman: Are we going outside now?
Interviewer: Nono.
Interviewer: This regards teh booster packs. Some people feel that a few maps shouldn't cost $10, when other developers release free content all the time.
DICEman: Well, we talked about that and concluded that it's the best financial strategy. With the extra revenue from those maps, we can get decent things for the office, new coffee makers for instance.
Interviewer: So it's more about greed than giving people actual value for money?
DICEman: No. It's about the coffee. You don't know how much the coffee sucked before the new Espresso3000. Also, Boots needs a new chair.
Interviewer: "Boots" Who is Boots?
It's our chimp from Bangladesh. He is our main patch tester here. He's really good.
Interviewer: Wait, are you saying a "monkey" is testing the patches for you?
DICEman: No, not monkey, Chimp, you don't have get all racist now.
Interviewer: I'm sorry, it's just amazing that a "chimp" is testing the patches.
DICEman: He's not alone anymore, we have just got greencards for his brothers, they're quite good as well. Now we have a team, to ensure a quality patch released to the public.
Interviewer: So only monkeys, sorry, chimps are testing the patches.
DICEman: Of course not, we have a group og people testing the patch in Guantanamo Base. These guys have first hand knowledge with...
Interviewer: Ok, I believe that's enough for this time, thank you very much Mr. DICEman, on behalf of the BF2 community, I thank you for your time.
DICEman: Comm-u--uuu, what was that word again?
Interviewer: Nevermind...
*To fully understand and enjoy this interview, you need a sense of humor
