So recently I tried to open a new bank account.
I have one already with Lloyds, but Halifax's superior overdraft convinced me to try them for a while as well.
All seems to go well, I apply online, get the forms through and send them off without a hitch. That done, I sit down to relax in front of my evening entertainment of pitting mild mannered rottweilers against rabid monkeys and feasting on the loser while taunting the winner with a flaming electric poker.
By the fourth round my house was getting messy and my arm tired, I take a rest - just a small nap.
One week later I get up, go downstairs and pick through the mountain of junk mail piled up behind my front door, among it the response from Halifax. Great. Right? Right...? No.
The little cunts have denied me claiming I failed their credit score checks. Infuriated I fling aside the pile of dead monkeys resting on my keyboard, log on to Experion and check my credit rating. My score? A perfect 999. No negative factors, I'm completely low risk.
So why, why the fuck would Halifax deny my application?
My only solution is they've somehow got tempted over to the dark side and their business practise now involves mocking applications by bending over new applicants and raping them up the ass with ambiguous letters not really explaining why they wish you'd died rather than giving you an account.
I have one already with Lloyds, but Halifax's superior overdraft convinced me to try them for a while as well.
All seems to go well, I apply online, get the forms through and send them off without a hitch. That done, I sit down to relax in front of my evening entertainment of pitting mild mannered rottweilers against rabid monkeys and feasting on the loser while taunting the winner with a flaming electric poker.
By the fourth round my house was getting messy and my arm tired, I take a rest - just a small nap.
One week later I get up, go downstairs and pick through the mountain of junk mail piled up behind my front door, among it the response from Halifax. Great. Right? Right...? No.
The little cunts have denied me claiming I failed their credit score checks. Infuriated I fling aside the pile of dead monkeys resting on my keyboard, log on to Experion and check my credit rating. My score? A perfect 999. No negative factors, I'm completely low risk.
So why, why the fuck would Halifax deny my application?
My only solution is they've somehow got tempted over to the dark side and their business practise now involves mocking applications by bending over new applicants and raping them up the ass with ambiguous letters not really explaining why they wish you'd died rather than giving you an account.
