BF2S Forums Overdue (Can I have my spider back?)

Last edited by War Man (2008-11-10 16:33:13)

From: Richard Matthews
Date: Thursday 8 Nov 2007 9.27am
To: David Thorne
Subject: your a wanker

You must be fat and ugly and sad!


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 8 Nov 2007 4.11pm
To: Richard Matthews
Subject: Re: your a wanker

Thankyou Dick, I am touched by your concern for my health, social acceptance and happiness. I actually am not fat and would usually be described as a bit too skinny. I have been contemplating reverse liposuction, a technique where they basically transfer liquified body fat from one patient to another. Having looked on your profile and seen your photo, I was hoping we could help each other out here - I figure some of the fat from just one of your cheeks could help add many kilograms to my current body weight. I realise this would leave you a tad lopsided so if we take the fat from your other cheek we could sell it to the japanese. This commercial venture would effectively pay for the initial operation and save several whales in the process. I think you will have to agree this is a socially responsible course of action.

In regards to being sad, aren't we all from time to time? As I am sitting writing this on my laptop in bed while my girlfriend watches 'Family Guy' on the 52" plasma screen in her underwear, I cant help but think how much happier I would be if she was Brooke Satchwell, was wearing latex and we were in Bora Bora so i guess happiness being relative and on a comparative scale, you are correct.

As for being ugly, I am actually extremely attractive, with god like features and the body of a Calvin Klein underwear model, due to being born with what is termed the 'drop dead gorgeous gene' but I cant help feeling life would be much easier if I was indeed ugly. Hows it working out for you?

From: Richard Matthews
Date: Monday 12 Nov 2007 10.28am
To: David Thorne
Subject: faggot!

you are a fucken idiot!!! I dont have time to read you stupid shit. What are you even wriing to me for ? I think you are doing it just to annoy me fuckhead


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 12 Nov 2007 10.51am
To: Richard Matthews
Subject: Re: faggot!

I confess. You have caught me out Dick, alternative motives may have included 'using dick as entertainment', 'playing with dick' or even 'lets get dick heated ' but your super sleuth detective skills have once again outwitted me and centred in on the fundamental reason. Please find attached a cheque made out to you for a copy of your book 'Detective Dick's Deduction Dictionary".

I would also like to sign up to receive your monthly newsletter and please book me in for your course 'Deducing Dick'. If I use my credit card to purchase the full two half hour lessons will I receive the Sherlock Holmes style cap and curved wooden pipe at no added cost? I have my own magnifying glass. Sometimes I use it on ants. Not to cook them, just to warm them on cold days or get a little fire going for them.