post anything thats funny, it could be a video, an image or a joke or anything related to those three as long as its funny.
lolright
belldawg wrote:
My dad sent this to me in an email, i thought it was good haha
> Geoffrey the Aboriginal
>
>
> A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and
> invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Geoffrey, the
> only aboriginal in the neighbourhood.
>
> He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
> Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns,
> oysters and BBQ and flirting. At the height of the party, the host said,
> 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give million
> dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in. 'The words were barely
> out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around
> and saw Geoffrey in the pool!
>
> Geoffrey was fighting the croc and kicking its ass! Geoffrey was jabbing
> the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds
> of shit, like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and
> flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
> The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Geoffrey and the
> croc were screaming and raising hell.
>
> Finally Geoffrey strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a
> K-mart goldfish. Geoffrey then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody
> was just staring at him in disbelief.
>
> Finally the host says, 'Well, Geoffrey, I reckon I owe you a million
> dollars.'
>
> Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Geoffrey.
>
> The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet.'
> 'How about half a million bucks then?'
>
> 'No thanks. I don't want it,' answered Geoffrey.
>
> The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was
> amazing.
>
> How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?
>
> 'Again, Geoffrey said no.
>
> Confused,the rich man asked, 'Well Geoffrey, then what do you want?'
>
> Geoffrey said,
'I want the name of the fucker who pushed me in the pool.
WATER WOULD BE NICE!
LOL OMG
and..spongebob reference? ._.
Just. WHY?
Looks like will ferrel's brother tbh.
Chelsea lost to Burnley, THATS FUNNY HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHA
After the recent teetering-on-the-edge-of-total-economic-and-financial-meltdown couple of weeks, it seems the economic systems and their workings have pushed their way into the need-to-know-category.
However, we can now simplify it all down to what makes sense, and explain 21 economic models using cows.
It is remarkable how much sense it all makes.
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image
called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
However, we can now simplify it all down to what makes sense, and explain 21 economic models using cows.
It is remarkable how much sense it all makes.
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by
the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image
called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
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