As your Supreme Overlord, I here by decree:
1. At the age of 18 everyone is awarded one free kill. This kill can be utilized at any time in ones life, however, all other unlawful kills will be treated as crimes. You must tag your human with appropriate documentation and submit the kill to a local game warden within 24 hours. The human must be over 18 years of age and must be 48" or greater in height. Midgets are excluded as they have now deemed an endangered species and thus are protected; besides, killing midgets just isn't cool.
This act is put into place to eliminate punk-asses from our society. You never know if someone hasn't used up their kill, so it will detour punkasses from asshatery in society.
2. We're gonna nuke the middle-east, and give the land to Israel. We've all had enough of your terrorist shit by now. We get it: your women hating cave people that despise progression who love nothing more than God. Now you can meet him.
3. Legal, non-taxed marijuana. You're welcome.
