The following is NOT COPY PASTED FROM ANOTHER SITE OR ANYTHING AND DOES NOT CONTAIN A BELL-AIR
So last night I had the most bizarre dream imaginable. It started out in an area that kinda looked like the parts of Connecticut I've been to. I hoped on a sleigh and by using my hands I was able to slide it onto the highway and was keeping up with cars and shit. I then went off the highway on an exit that looks exactly like the exit that goes from the highway to the town that I live in, yet some how I end up crashing the sleigh into a steel mill. The guys at the steel mill tell me that I am in Detroit, and when I look out of the mill into the city, it resembles Berlin from CoD5, all burning and shit. So next I see one of my RL friends at the mill, and then we talk for a while about how Detroit sucks and is fun of black people. I then walk through the mill (and seem to know exactly where I am going) before I end up dropping down a hole in the floor and then I'm in my house. At this point the my friend was out of the dream and doesn't come back or any of that shit. So I'm in my house (which apparently is in Detroit) and there is this Mormon guy in house who says he discovered something important in my house. So I'm like "Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me" and I grab my towel to go take a shower, then the Mormon guy says that my towel is some sacred relic and shit (as sacred relics are made in Taiwan), grabs it and runs off to Cuba. So then I walk to the door thinking "wat" and then that's when some guys in the Brotherhood of Nod show up. They tell me that the ancient runes in my house (ancient runes are often aspects of houses built in the mid 80's) combined with my towel will allow the Mormons to locate the place that will enable the Mormons to summon Mormon Jesus, who will defeat normal Jesus and enslave the world. So we hop in my mom's car (which now has a sticker that says "DO NOT EXPOSE TO 9001 DEGREE HEAT" ) and drive through the woods and end up in Cuba. We then pull out M4s and kill the Mormons we find there. However it was too late as the Mormons had already done what they needed to do in Cuba. Then Richard Nixon, who is somehow still the president, showed up riding on a seg-way scooter, announced himself as the leader of the Mormons (despite actually being an excommunicated Quaker) and expelled us from Cuba. So we are back at my house, which now has the interior of a studio apartment, and we find some more Mormon guys there and we kill them with throwing knives. Then Jack Bauer shows up, shoots one of the Brothers, as he is working for the Mormons. We then return fire, then he traps himself in my closet, grabs yet another Mormon relic that was there and after a stand off, escapes through a conveniently located hole in my closet. Then we don't know what to do, as we have no clue where Jack Bauer and Richard Nixon need to go to summon Mormon Jesus. However as we go the watch some TV the captain of the squad of Nod soldiers that I was with rips up my dry-wall and finds more Mormon runes. The Brotherhood somehow figures out that the Mormons are in Africa. Then Supreme Allied Command contacts us and tells us that the Mormons are in Africa (which at this point we already know) and that Richard Nixon will prevent us from leaving the country but if we can get to New York Harbor soon enough (remember we are in the part of Detroit that is only a few miles away from Cuba) he will be able to get us to Africa. So then the Brotherhood and myself all get on our Attack Bikes (straight out of Tiberian Sun) and get ready to ride to New York City.
Then my mom comes in and wakes me up to go to school and I 'd as I will never know if the Brotherhood manages to defeat Richard Nixon and stop Mormon Jesus from enslaving the world.
