King_County_Downy
shitfaced
+2,791|7022|Seattle

http://www.tothepointnews.com/content/view/3617/85/

Written by To The Point News   
Thursday, 07 May 2009

To The Point is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia!

We board our luxury cruise ship in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Mombassa, Kenya seven adrenaline-charged days later.

https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali1923.jpg

https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali2412.jpg

Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.

https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali2b700.jpg

That's because you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you.  If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!

But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.

For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates.  The weapons rental costs are as follows.

Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:

https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali3187.jpg

On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:

https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali4475.jpg

Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 .50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.

https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali5594.jpg

Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not.)

Want to make a real impact?  Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included!

https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali7767.jpg

Also included:  Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.

Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.

But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!

https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali9891.jpg

We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombassa.

How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".

We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast.  At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.

https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali10714.jpg

Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:

"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D., Cincinnati, OH

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda, MD

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J. - Denver, CO

Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates!  But cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly.  Reserve your package before May 31st and get a great bonus - 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice.  So sign up for the Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!
Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it
elite.mafia
Banned
+122|6878|USA
im in
Rohirm
Fear is a Leash
+85|6596|New Austin, Not
Do-fucking-want.
DefCon-17
Maple Syrup Faggot
+362|6581|Vancouver | Canada
Can I get a deal if I rent all weapons?
elite.mafia
Banned
+122|6878|USA

DefCon-17 wrote:

Can I get a deal if I rent all weapons?
I'm just going to bring a knife and steal all the pirates weapons after I slice their brains up...
FatherTed
xD
+3,936|6925|so randum
is this fucking real?!?
Small hourglass island
Always raining and foggy
Use an umbrella
Rohirm
Fear is a Leash
+85|6596|New Austin, Not
So uhh, as this is bring your own weapons and all, how am I gonna get my Kimber through customs?
Metal-Eater-GR
I can haz titanium paancakez?
+490|6697
imagine if that was true... wicked!
Bradt3hleader
Care [ ] - Don't care [x]
+121|6361

FatherTed wrote:

is this fucking real?!?
Dude I fucking hope so!

*Gets out dad's credit card*

Count me in

Can we bring our own arsenal?

Dude this is fucking awesome, but the weapons part has to be fake, the cruise might not be, but the weapons part is 100% fake


GET SOME!!!
Finray
Hup! Dos, Tres, Cuatro
+2,629|6213|Catherine Black
AK-47 ACOG? Noob.
https://i.imgur.com/qwWEP9F.png
Bradt3hleader
Care [ ] - Don't care [x]
+121|6361

Finray wrote:

AK-47 ACOG? Noob.
/facepalm

Look closer
Finray
Hup! Dos, Tres, Cuatro
+2,629|6213|Catherine Black
I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two
Bahahahahaha she did what now
https://i.imgur.com/qwWEP9F.png
elite.mafia
Banned
+122|6878|USA

Bradt3hleader wrote:

Finray wrote:

AK-47 ACOG? Noob.
/facepalm

Look closer
im confused
The_Sniper_NM
Official EVGA Fanboy
+94|6538|SC | USA |
If this was true and it wasn't so fucking hard to fly a weapon some where, I'm sure my family and I would bring our arsenal. My gun was made to shoot mk262.
hawaythelads
We are PREMIER LEAGUE!
+84|6911|Newcastle Upon Tyne.
BF2S Vacation?
Bradt3hleader
Care [ ] - Don't care [x]
+121|6361

elite.mafia wrote:

Bradt3hleader wrote:

Finray wrote:

AK-47 ACOG? Noob.
/facepalm

Look closer
im confused
Well Finray stated that mounting an ACOG on an AK is noobish, when it's not noobish, and worse yet it's not an ACOG, he's a good friend of mine and that's why I did the facepalm thing to bug him.

ACOG:

https://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u176/Swiss-Brad/USMCowns.jpg

https://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u176/Swiss-Brad/USMarine2.jpg

This looks like what is mounted on the AK, though I didn't look very hard lol. Airsoft tbh...

https://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u176/Swiss-Brad/AwesomeAK.jpg


Now for you Finray my bud

https://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u176/Swiss-Brad/60474_Tactical_facepalm.jpg
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7098|Cardiff, Capital of Wales
https://xs139.xs.to/xs139/09204/somali2b700.jpg

I could shag in there for hours whilst watching the mrs riding it like Frankie Dettori rides his 7th winner in a single day.  Go out for an after shag spliff and shoot some Somalian's, fucking great, get me in on it.
Ultrafunkula
Hector: Ding, ding, ding, ding...
+1,975|6898|6 6 4 oh, I forget

Can I bring my own Somalian's? We have plenty of those locust here.
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7098|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Ultrafunkula wrote:

Can I bring my own Somalian's? We have plenty of those locust here.
Serious? You got them too.  Cardiff is over run by the lil greasey's.  They hunt in packs like wild dogs knicking wallet's and phones off teenagers, one on one they are fuck all, but they stick together like shit and cause fuck loads of crime, fucking greasy's I hate em.
Bradt3hleader
Care [ ] - Don't care [x]
+121|6361

1927 wrote:

Ultrafunkula wrote:

Can I bring my own Somalian's? We have plenty of those locust here.
Serious? You got them too.  Cardiff is over run by the lil greasey's.  They hunt in packs like wild dogs knicking wallet's and phones off teenagers, one on one they are fuck all, but they stick together like shit and cause fuck loads of crime, fucking greasy's I hate em.
https://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u176/Swiss-Brad/Para-Ordnance_P16-40.jpg

Problem solved
Ultrafunkula
Hector: Ding, ding, ding, ding...
+1,975|6898|6 6 4 oh, I forget

1927 wrote:

Ultrafunkula wrote:

Can I bring my own Somalian's? We have plenty of those locust here.
Serious? You got them too.  Cardiff is over run by the lil greasey's.  They hunt in packs like wild dogs knicking wallet's and phones off teenagers, one on one they are fuck all, but they stick together like shit and cause fuck loads of crime, fucking greasy's I hate em.
Same shit going on here. Plenty of the teenagers think this is Rapland and they can do whatever the fuck they want. Heard once this guy was at a ATM and three of the skins (thank you BHD ) were standing behind him whilst one was demanding for his card and the pin. The dude turned around and smashed his fist straight into the face of the closest one and the two got quick feet after that. The third collected his gear and ran away too. There were two cops around the corner who they dragged to the guy walking away and were crying that he tried to kill them. The cops were smiling for a while until a Securitas guard came from his monitor hideout and told the cops what really happened. Prolly no need to tell who the cops hauled away in their car.

Got one of my own too. Years ago I was walking towards a bus at the Helsinki bus station and from the corner of my I see one of these idiots running straight at me from right. Think fast worked this time and I used some bullet time by turning around as he got near me and I gave him a good boost on his back. The view was something utterly funny as he was sliding and tripping on the snowy ground as he was trying to get up. Eventually he got up and started walking towards me looking pissed off. I decided the best way to get backup if things get ugly is to start making noise myself. So I yelled at the skinny thing something like "don't you start with anything asshole, you tried to jump me!". At that point I saw that he had two buddies with me and thought I was gonna get to play penalty kill. The boy probably got some sense into him at the point I was screaming at him since he started smiling and was all "aa sorry maan, yeah yo you know aight see ya" and vanished. I was plenty pumped with adrenaline in the night bus after that. No worries about passing out
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7098|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Ultrafunkula wrote:

1927 wrote:

Ultrafunkula wrote:

Can I bring my own Somalian's? We have plenty of those locust here.
Serious? You got them too.  Cardiff is over run by the lil greasey's.  They hunt in packs like wild dogs knicking wallet's and phones off teenagers, one on one they are fuck all, but they stick together like shit and cause fuck loads of crime, fucking greasy's I hate em.
Same shit going on here. Plenty of the teenagers think this is Rapland and they can do whatever the fuck they want. Heard once this guy was at a ATM and three of the skins (thank you BHD ) were standing behind him whilst one was demanding for his card and the pin. The dude turned around and smashed his fist straight into the face of the closest one and the two got quick feet after that. The third collected his gear and ran away too. There were two cops around the corner who they dragged to the guy walking away and were crying that he tried to kill them. The cops were smiling for a while until a Securitas guard came from his monitor hideout and told the cops what really happened. Prolly no need to tell who the cops hauled away in their car.

Got one of my own too. Years ago I was walking towards a bus at the Helsinki bus station and from the corner of my I see one of these idiots running straight at me from right. Think fast worked this time and I used some bullet time by turning around as he got near me and I gave him a good boost on his back. The view was something utterly funny as he was sliding and tripping on the snowy ground as he was trying to get up. Eventually he got up and started walking towards me looking pissed off. I decided the best way to get backup if things get ugly is to start making noise myself. So I yelled at the skinny thing something like "don't you start with anything asshole, you tried to jump me!". At that point I saw that he had two buddies with me and thought I was gonna get to play penalty kill. The boy probably got some sense into him at the point I was screaming at him since he started smiling and was all "aa sorry maan, yeah yo you know aight see ya" and vanished. I was plenty pumped with adrenaline in the night bus after that. No worries about passing out
Two happy endings Funky, nice one.  They got their own rules, or at least thats what they think.
Ty
Mass Media Casualty
+2,398|7199|Noizyland

Finally, a safari where you hunt humans.
[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
Ultrafunkula
Hector: Ding, ding, ding, ding...
+1,975|6898|6 6 4 oh, I forget

1927 wrote:

Ultrafunkula wrote:

1927 wrote:


Serious? You got them too.  Cardiff is over run by the lil greasey's.  They hunt in packs like wild dogs knicking wallet's and phones off teenagers, one on one they are fuck all, but they stick together like shit and cause fuck loads of crime, fucking greasy's I hate em.
Same shit going on here. Plenty of the teenagers think this is Rapland and they can do whatever the fuck they want. Heard once this guy was at a ATM and three of the skins (thank you BHD ) were standing behind him whilst one was demanding for his card and the pin. The dude turned around and smashed his fist straight into the face of the closest one and the two got quick feet after that. The third collected his gear and ran away too. There were two cops around the corner who they dragged to the guy walking away and were crying that he tried to kill them. The cops were smiling for a while until a Securitas guard came from his monitor hideout and told the cops what really happened. Prolly no need to tell who the cops hauled away in their car.

Got one of my own too. Years ago I was walking towards a bus at the Helsinki bus station and from the corner of my I see one of these idiots running straight at me from right. Think fast worked this time and I used some bullet time by turning around as he got near me and I gave him a good boost on his back. The view was something utterly funny as he was sliding and tripping on the snowy ground as he was trying to get up. Eventually he got up and started walking towards me looking pissed off. I decided the best way to get backup if things get ugly is to start making noise myself. So I yelled at the skinny thing something like "don't you start with anything asshole, you tried to jump me!". At that point I saw that he had two buddies with me and thought I was gonna get to play penalty kill. The boy probably got some sense into him at the point I was screaming at him since he started smiling and was all "aa sorry maan, yeah yo you know aight see ya" and vanished. I was plenty pumped with adrenaline in the night bus after that. No worries about passing out
Two happy endings Funky, nice one.  They got their own rules, or at least thats what they think.
They don't get it that they're not in their shanty town anymore. Luckily most of them have jobs and know how to adapt. Hope they're getting the message since a couple were banished from Finland. Some Unicef hippies were all pissy about it but thank Jebus the officials had balls and basically told them to fuck off. A third one wasn't banished since he hasn't taken part in "that much" criminal activities. I say when their home village is up and running, send them packing.
1927
The oldest chav in the world
+2,423|7098|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Ultrafunkula wrote:

1927 wrote:

Ultrafunkula wrote:


Same shit going on here. Plenty of the teenagers think this is Rapland and they can do whatever the fuck they want. Heard once this guy was at a ATM and three of the skins (thank you BHD ) were standing behind him whilst one was demanding for his card and the pin. The dude turned around and smashed his fist straight into the face of the closest one and the two got quick feet after that. The third collected his gear and ran away too. There were two cops around the corner who they dragged to the guy walking away and were crying that he tried to kill them. The cops were smiling for a while until a Securitas guard came from his monitor hideout and told the cops what really happened. Prolly no need to tell who the cops hauled away in their car.

Got one of my own too. Years ago I was walking towards a bus at the Helsinki bus station and from the corner of my I see one of these idiots running straight at me from right. Think fast worked this time and I used some bullet time by turning around as he got near me and I gave him a good boost on his back. The view was something utterly funny as he was sliding and tripping on the snowy ground as he was trying to get up. Eventually he got up and started walking towards me looking pissed off. I decided the best way to get backup if things get ugly is to start making noise myself. So I yelled at the skinny thing something like "don't you start with anything asshole, you tried to jump me!". At that point I saw that he had two buddies with me and thought I was gonna get to play penalty kill. The boy probably got some sense into him at the point I was screaming at him since he started smiling and was all "aa sorry maan, yeah yo you know aight see ya" and vanished. I was plenty pumped with adrenaline in the night bus after that. No worries about passing out
Two happy endings Funky, nice one.  They got their own rules, or at least thats what they think.
They don't get it that they're not in their shanty town anymore. Luckily most of them have jobs and know how to adapt. Hope they're getting the message since a couple were banished from Finland. Some Unicef hippies were all pissy about it but thank Jebus the officials had balls and basically told them to fuck off. A third one wasn't banished since he hasn't taken part in "that much" criminal activities. I say when their home village is up and running, send them packing.
Im not a racist.  Colour don't bother me or where your from.  But if you wanna come over here and bring ya own rules and ignore the ones the rest of us have to obide by then you can fuck off where you come from.  Colour got fuck all to do with that.  Bring some respect or don't come.

Ok our economy is fucked, housing, benefits etc etc but thats all too deep for me.  The BNP are wrong in what the say but they are getting more and more popular.

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