ATG
Banned
+5,233|6947|Global Command
I once crashed my motorcycle and got a broken collar bone, torn knee ligaments and a concussion.
I tore ligaments around my sternum trying to prevent a tall ladder from crashing down. That hurt bad.
Rohirm
Fear is a Leash
+85|6589|New Austin, Not
I accidentally touched metal that hadn't been cooled after welding.

I can still remember the smell of burning flesh...should have never ever ever taken off those gloves
FatherTed
xD
+3,936|6918|so randum

Flecco wrote:

@ Ted, lol'd @ the morphine etc. Must make a great party story now.
yeah like i woke up an then this nurse walked over and put the morphine button in my hand, before injecting me with some. then it was a bit like getting gettin a niccy rush. then shit started to change shape and colour and everything just went... amazing. i can see why people get hooked on it, it's unreal fun
Small hourglass island
Always raining and foggy
Use an umbrella
Amdi Peter
peut-ĂȘtre
+111|5966|paris
I broke my arm from falling when I was 9 or 10 years old.
I had this disease once that kinda paralyzed my legs. They still had feeling, but I couldn't move them.
Noobpatty
ʎʇʇɐdqoou
+194|6771|West NY

Amdi Peter wrote:

I broke my arm from falling when I was 9 or 10 years old.
I had this disease once that kinda paralyzed my legs. They still had feeling, but I couldn't move them.
Oh gee that sucks.
Vilham
Say wat!?
+580|7184|UK

Gooners wrote:

Vilham wrote:

put a garden fork through my foot.
easier to do than you would think.
Noobpatty
ʎʇʇɐdqoou
+194|6771|West NY

Vilham wrote:

Gooners wrote:

Vilham wrote:

put a garden fork through my foot.
easier to do than you would think.
:x
+1
mtb0minime
minimember
+2,418|7072

One time I was walking around in a friend's backyard, we were scavenging through a big pile of wood (many pieces of which had rusty nails in them). I stepped on a nail and it went right through my shoe and into my left big toe. Didn't hurt too bad, but I needed to get it cleaned up (yay, rusty nails!). I started walking towards his house and stepped on another nail Went through my shoe and hit my right heel. I had to hobble the rest of the way up, then get a tetanus shot at the doctor's office.
Noobpatty
ʎʇʇɐdqoou
+194|6771|West NY

mtb0minime wrote:

One time I was walking around in a friend's backyard, we were scavenging through a big pile of wood (many pieces of which had rusty nails in them). I stepped on a nail and it went right through my shoe and into my left big toe. Didn't hurt too bad, but I needed to get it cleaned up (yay, rusty nails!). I started walking towards his house and stepped on another nail Went through my shoe and hit my right heel. I had to hobble the rest of the way up, then get a tetanus shot at the doctor's office.
ouch
that would be a total FML short right there
mtb0minime
minimember
+2,418|7072

Noobpatty wrote:

mtb0minime wrote:

One time I was walking around in a friend's backyard, we were scavenging through a big pile of wood (many pieces of which had rusty nails in them). I stepped on a nail and it went right through my shoe and into my left big toe. Didn't hurt too bad, but I needed to get it cleaned up (yay, rusty nails!). I started walking towards his house and stepped on another nail Went through my shoe and hit my right heel. I had to hobble the rest of the way up, then get a tetanus shot at the doctor's office.
ouch
that would be a total FML short right there
Hah, yeah it would. Thankfully it wasn't hurting too bad. And all me and my friend could do was laugh about how unlucky it was
Noobpatty
ʎʇʇɐdqoou
+194|6771|West NY
What a dick!
Brasso
member
+1,549|7048

haffeysucks wrote:

i just cut my finger with my balisong.  i guess it was so sharp cause i didn't feel it until a little later...when it bled on my mouse
update: just did it again, same finger   but it hurt this time.
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
Noobpatty
ʎʇʇɐdqoou
+194|6771|West NY

haffeysucks wrote:

haffeysucks wrote:

i just cut my finger with my balisong.  i guess it was so sharp cause i didn't feel it until a little later...when it bled on my mouse
update: just did it again, same finger   but it hurt this time.
-_-
WienerBreath
Hai guys
+14|5919|Fort Hood, Texas
I was acting like an idiot today and landed wrong on my feet, so now my ankle hurts and my knee hurts. For some reason when I move my jaw around it hurts between my ear and mouth. Don't understand why.
Mutantbear
Semi Constructive Criticism
+1,431|6382|London, England

haffeysucks wrote:

haffeysucks wrote:

i just cut my finger with my balisong.  i guess it was so sharp cause i didn't feel it until a little later...when it bled on my mouse
update: just did it again, same finger   but it hurt this time.
Dumbass
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ https://i.imgur.com/Xj4f2.png
eskimo_sammyjoe
Did someone say tea?
+112|6652|S.A. Australia
Got viciously attacked by a gate when I was younger, caught the bolt right in the top lip.  Still have a scar there although its not hugely visible.
Serious Flex
Kmar
Truth is my Bitch
+5,695|7018|132 and Bush

Ultrafunkula wrote:

I have a fractured L4-L5 disc in my spine which has been operated twice. Fucked it up when making electronic deliveries ten years ago. 96 kilo 36" Panasonic didn't fit in the shitty small lift so we had to carry it a few floors up. Besides that, I have twisted my left ankle two times. First time was 14 years ago when a car hit me when I was driving my moped. The second time was playing floorball and some idiot on a tryout tried to reach for the ball and managed to slide his stick under my shoe while we were running full at speed. I was sliding on the stick for a split second until my sneaker got in touch with the floor and then came the quick stop. Hurt like hell. The doctor went apeshit because I didn't go to the hospital before next morning. Like hell I would've gone to wait for several hours on a night. Few painkillers and off to bed. What else. A broken nose due to a small battle outside a bar in 2005. Broke something in my shoulder also but nothing shows on x-ray.
My l4-l5 are screwed up too... bulging/ruptured and otherwise leaking spinal fluid. Did it making deliveries too..
Xbone Stormsurgezz
Ultrafunkula
Hector: Ding, ding, ding, ding...
+1,975|6891|6 6 4 oh, I forget

O right just remembered when the doctors were still investigating my back problems they had me go through a funny little thing called electromyogram aka EMG. Afterwards a buddy of mine told he had to go through the same thing with his arm when he broke it and he said it was no biggie, just some odd tingling here and there, kinda like the arm going numb. But this shit in your back, oooo boi... If any of you ever get back problems and the doctor starts talking about EMG, run away screaming exorcism mantra at your local Mengele. I had no clue what the hell was going on until I was pierced in 5 places (not simultaneously thank god) with needle almost classified as a nice screwdriver for its size. If that wasn't enough, hey, let's bring the pain. Put on the power and give the kid some electric current while were at it. "Now, this may hurt a bit..." A bit??? Fuck you man. Worst pain inflicted by a human being so far! I so bad wanted to break the docs face after those tests. I had a thick damn piece of metal in my ankle, calf, thigh, buttock and lower back. I was completely ballistic after he examined the results that said "nerves seem to be ok". So kids, if you ain't a masochist or otherwise enjoy pain, stay away from this little device.


https://www.drbezner.com/emg.jpg

Last edited by Ultrafunkula (2009-06-08 21:39:24)

Kmar
Truth is my Bitch
+5,695|7018|132 and Bush

Did you ever have a discogram? That shit was incredibly painful.

It feels like your spine is going to explode from the inside out. They inject dye into your spine and replicate the pain. I couldn't walk for a while after it.. unreal. The first time I had it done they gave me NOTHING. I had to have it done again and they gave me a local. I was like are you kidding me? I could have had this the first time. Of course the whole reason I had to have it done twice was that the first doctor screwed up... sucked so bad.. my kidney stones didn't have jack on that pain.
Xbone Stormsurgezz
Little BaBy JESUS
m8
+394|6566|'straya
Now this wasn't me but its pretty funny so ill post it.

My brother was jumping a jump on his motorbike (he was like 5-6 at the time) and he fell off, landed and somehow his ring finger ended up between the sprocket and chain. Took half his finger clean off. then the whole way to the hospital he was giving people the finger with his bloody stub

Hilarious (for me )
Ultrafunkula
Hector: Ding, ding, ding, ding...
+1,975|6891|6 6 4 oh, I forget

Kmarion wrote:

Did you ever have a discogram? That shit was incredibly painful.

It feels like your spine is going to explode from the inside out. They inject dye into your spine and replicate the pain. I couldn't walk for a while after it.. unreal. The first time I had it done they gave me NOTHING. I had to have it done again and they gave me a local. I was like are you kidding me? I could have had this the first time. Of course the whole reason I had to have it done twice was that the first doctor screwed up... sucked so bad.. my kidney stones didn't have jack on that pain.
Oh hell. No that I haven't had. I really need to find out what that is in Finnish if I ever go for a spinal surgery hattrick I had the dye injected in me and took another MRI tho, but that didn't cause any pain and the docs didn't say it was even going to. Did the dye start to taste for you too after a while it was injected?
Kmar
Truth is my Bitch
+5,695|7018|132 and Bush

Ultrafunkula wrote:

Kmarion wrote:

Did you ever have a discogram? That shit was incredibly painful.

It feels like your spine is going to explode from the inside out. They inject dye into your spine and replicate the pain. I couldn't walk for a while after it.. unreal. The first time I had it done they gave me NOTHING. I had to have it done again and they gave me a local. I was like are you kidding me? I could have had this the first time. Of course the whole reason I had to have it done twice was that the first doctor screwed up... sucked so bad.. my kidney stones didn't have jack on that pain.
Oh hell. No that I haven't had. I really need to find out what that is in Finnish if I ever go for a spinal surgery hattrick I had the dye injected in me and took another MRI tho, but that didn't cause any pain and the docs didn't say it was even going to. Did the dye start to taste for you too after a while it was injected?
I don't think so. Did they open you up in the front? They told me they were going to have to open my stomach up, move me organs around, and put a cage in there to hold it in place. Then the nurse told me I could have problems ejaculating... as in I might not sometimes.. iwazlike wtf..lol. I didn't have the surgery and tbh I've been doing well with alternative treatments.
Xbone Stormsurgezz
Ultrafunkula
Hector: Ding, ding, ding, ding...
+1,975|6891|6 6 4 oh, I forget

Kmarion wrote:

Ultrafunkula wrote:

Kmarion wrote:

Did you ever have a discogram? That shit was incredibly painful.

It feels like your spine is going to explode from the inside out. They inject dye into your spine and replicate the pain. I couldn't walk for a while after it.. unreal. The first time I had it done they gave me NOTHING. I had to have it done again and they gave me a local. I was like are you kidding me? I could have had this the first time. Of course the whole reason I had to have it done twice was that the first doctor screwed up... sucked so bad.. my kidney stones didn't have jack on that pain.
Oh hell. No that I haven't had. I really need to find out what that is in Finnish if I ever go for a spinal surgery hattrick I had the dye injected in me and took another MRI tho, but that didn't cause any pain and the docs didn't say it was even going to. Did the dye start to taste for you too after a while it was injected?
I don't think so. Did they open you up in the front? They told me they were going to have to open my stomach up, move me organs around, and put a cage in there to hold it in place. Then the nurse told me I could have problems ejaculating... as in I might not sometimes.. iwazlike wtf..lol. I didn't have the surgery and tbh I've been doing well with alternative treatments.
They what?! What kind of experimental Mengele did you have for a doctor?? I was injected the dye straight in the vein and told to go lie on the table and in the MRI machine I went. They new immediately what to look for and what to do in order to fix me once again.
Kmar
Truth is my Bitch
+5,695|7018|132 and Bush

I was talking about surgery. Didn't you say you had it?
Xbone Stormsurgezz
Defiance
Member
+438|7089

Only stories, not even decent ones, I have total 2. First one; I walk in to my backyard and one of my dogs (smaller one) and the neighbors cats were fighting. I was young, not very quick, but I've always liked cats more so I walk over, grab the cat and separate them. The cat's safe but it still feels like going batshit so it wriggles out of my arms, jumps on my face and eventually jumps back off. Alright, whatever, they're done fighting I though so all was well. I start walking back in the house and my mom gives me this look like I was about to die. I look in a mirror and my entire face is covered in blood. Turns out the cat left two gashes across my forehead (which, for a time increased the similarity of myself and Harry Potter; going back to elementary school like that was the worst pain of all this); 2 puncture wounds on each side of my face and a handful of other small scratches.

Next: I was riding my bike home on a rainy day, not a year and a half ago or so, and after incorrectly choosing a line around someone down the sidewalk, I find myself in a little planting area off to either side of the sidewalk. Alright, I'll just ride back on to the sidewalk, no big deal. Fuck that, says water, who (in combination with the position of my center of mass) kept the sidewalk and my tire slippery enough to keep my rear tire in the planter box. Again, in combination with my body position, my front tire decided to not go straight down the sidewalk but in to the planter box on the other side of the sidewalk. I was now going with some speed skidding horizontally down the sidewalk whilst still vertical on the bike. It is at this point that friction says no, fuck you! and I fly forward. Fortunately, I landed well enough to avoid broken wrists or any obvious fractures (and from the sound of the impact, it was very fortunate I was wearing a helmet; much to the mockery of my peers). I ride home and eventually realize that I can only extend my elbow about 2/3 of the range it ought to go. I did the completely logical thing and put some ice on it and went to sleep. Being that it didn't feel too nice after I woke up, I went to the doctor and they found a hairline fracture in my elbow.

/breathe

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