Your cat intelligence is no match for my human intelligence!

2009-09-10 17:33:57

#1

GravyDan: Back from the Grave(y); +768|6352|CA

I really have to say that very few things in life grant me as much pleasure as screwing with a cat. My girlfriend recently acquired a rambunctious Siamese cat from her mother, and the entertainment value of the feline can not be disputed. In order to correct the cats misbehavior, we were given a squirt bottle. Now I walk around around the house like a Nazi gunslinger, just waiting for a Jew to step out of line.

My Girl lives in an apartment (that's a "flat" for you Brits, or a "palatial estate" for you Somalians) where cats are not permitted. In order to keep the cat out of the windows, I get to hose her down. Good times. Screw with Touchie, my ipod? That's a squirtin'! Eat my food? That's a squirtin'! Walk on my face in the middle of the night? You guessed it...she's getting the bukkake treatment with the H2O.

The other day she was walking along the rim of the tub after my girl had taken a bath. In order to teach her the dangers of such activities, I had to give her a little nudge. I'd like to think God had rewarded me for my gluttony and selfishness. High 5, Jesus.

I really must say, I am not a cruel person, especially toward animals. I just can't help myself. I can't be the only one, amirite?

Please, share your "screw with the pet" stories.

2009-09-10 17:39:45

#2

-MetaL*: Sup guies; +157|6053|Southern California

Hahahahaha

This is the funniest post in a while.

2009-09-10 17:43:08

#3

AussieReaper: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°); +5,761|6572|what

Pleasure. Rambunctious. Screwing. Squirtin'. Bukkake. Rim.

These words should not be used when speaking of animals.

2009-09-10 17:47:23

#4

GravyDan: Back from the Grave(y); +768|6352|CA

I see you have deciphered my riddle. I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you pesky Aussies. You up for some furry chatz?

2009-09-10 17:47:27

#5

S3v3N: lolwut?; +685|6938|Montucky

I used to put Duct Tape on the bottoms of my EX-Wife's Cat. Epic LuLz.

One time I caught "Princess" the cat drinking out of the toilet, using my ninja skills I slammed the lid down on poor princess. I flushed the toilet acouple times just for good measure.

And no matter how hard you fling a cat against the wall, it will still try to climb into bed with you.

Also Cats don't always land on their feet. My fellow scientists and I proved this in our laboratory back when we were just young and starting out in science. The actual experiment was to see if cats actually do defy gravity. Well they don't.

2009-09-10 17:57:12

#6

Sydney: 2λчиэλ; +783|7263|Reykjavík, Iceland.

AussieReaper wrote:
Pleasure. Rambunctious. Screwing. Squirtin'. Bukkake. Rim.

These words should not be used when speaking of animals.

I disagree.

2009-09-10 18:04:50

#7

ICCULUS: Free Sam, Ban Finray.; +418|5844|Athens, GA

fuck you kitty youre gonna spend the night

2009-09-10 18:11:28

#8

FatherTed: xD; +3,936|6920|so randum

make it official, gravydan is the best poster on bf2s.

Small hourglass island
Always raining and foggy
Use an umbrella

2009-09-10 18:17:28

#9

Gooners: Wiki Contributor; +2,700|7052

GravyDan wrote:
she's getting the bukkake treatment with the H2O.

Lol'd

2009-09-10 18:25:19

#10

Ryan: Member; +1,230|7263|Alberta, Canada

Why does your member title say you're a "mod" when you are clearly not?

2009-09-10 18:42:11

#11

GravyDan: Back from the Grave(y); +768|6352|CA

You're right Ryan, it was a devious and malicious attempt on my part to inject sand into your vagina and to fool all the feline members of bf2s into believing I had power over them. For this I am deeply sorry.

2009-09-10 18:51:22

#12

Ryan: Member; +1,230|7263|Alberta, Canada

GravyDan wrote:
You're right Ryan, it was a devious and malicious attempt on my part to inject sand into your vagina and to fool all the feline members of bf2s into believing I had power over them. For this I am deeply sorry.

Apology accepted. I was just thinking that it broke the rules, but then I realized that was the minimoddar side of me.
And for that, I apologize to you.

2009-09-10 18:55:09

#13

13urnzz: Banned; +5,830|6917

happy 1500 days, ryan ~ you and Sydney on the same day.

i like GravyDan's new title better anyways . . .

2009-09-10 18:56:21

#14

Kmar: Truth is my Bitch; +5,695|7020|132 and Bush

This is not spam.. I made the gif from this

Is relevant.

Xbone Stormsurgezz

2009-09-10 19:17:10

#15

Kmar: Truth is my Bitch; +5,695|7020|132 and Bush

S3v3N wrote:
And no matter how hard you fling a cat against the wall, it will still try to climb into bed with you.

Not true.. I paralyzed a kitten that jumped on my face and clawed me in my sleep.

Xbone Stormsurgezz

2009-09-10 19:26:47

#16

Adams_BJ: Russian warship, go fuck yourself; +2,055|7042|Little Bentcock

Kmarion wrote:
S3v3N wrote:
And no matter how hard you fling a cat against the wall, it will still try to climb into bed with you.
Not true.. I paralyzed a kitten that jumped on my face and clawed me in my sleep.

I'm calling PETA.

2009-09-10 20:00:09