"I believe that my generosity will help the university and I achieve many great things."
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
I have achieved great things
this is in the futureSEREMAKER wrote:
I have achieved great things
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
Will achieve?haffeysucks wrote:
this is in the futureSEREMAKER wrote:
I have achieved great things
I'd type my pc specs out all fancy again but teh mods would remove it. Again.
fixedhaffeysucks wrote:
"I believe that my generosity will help the university, and I, achieve many great things."
Ye its ok but sounds silly. Your generosity? Don't you have anything better to offer? Donald Trump is generous but he's a billionaire. What can you offer?
its better to push what you have done in the past then what you could or can't do in the future
you don't see ppl listing potential achievements in their resumes
you don't see ppl listing potential achievements in their resumes
The ideas are wildly divided. I would suggest making two separate sentences instead of first talking about how generous you are and then about how much you achieve for yourself.
Actually, on second thought, if you reverse the order of the two there will be at least some small logical step: you are good at things, so you help others be good at things. Although that is rather pretentious.
What's the context and goal of the piece to which this sentence belongs?
Actually, on second thought, if you reverse the order of the two there will be at least some small logical step: you are good at things, so you help others be good at things. Although that is rather pretentious.
What's the context and goal of the piece to which this sentence belongs?
Last edited by Pochsy (2009-09-17 13:41:23)
The shape of an eye in front of the ocean, digging for stones and throwing them against its window pane. Take it down dreamer, take it down deep. - Other Families
is it past or present tense.
it's a fairly ambigious sentance tbh, it'll raise a few eyebrows.
it's a fairly ambigious sentance tbh, it'll raise a few eyebrows.
Blackbelts are just whitebelts who have never quit.
need context
FFS ....... just put in one of my many pics from girl thread and you'll get a A+ or raise or the job ............. don't know what you're using this for
You shouldn't really use "I believe..." in a formal letter/essay/resume/job application.
It sounds like complete bullshit, but unlike the complete bullshit my personal statement was full of, they'll never buy that in a million years.
It's two sentences for two different ideas.
If this is for an entrance essay to a uni don't say anything like that. It's shallow and pretentious.
Hahaha no.JessyCar wrote:
fixedhaffeysucks wrote:
"I believe that my generosity will help the university, and I, achieve many great things."
Yes.Pochsy wrote:
The ideas are wildly divided. I would suggest making two separate sentences instead of first talking about how generous you are and then about how much you achieve for yourself.
If this is for an entrance essay to a uni don't say anything like that. It's shallow and pretentious.
It's grammatically incorrect. If you're trying to convey that your contribution will help both you and the university achieve great things, then it should be "I believe that my generosity will help the university and me achieve many great things."
It's an easy mistake to make, but also pretty easy to correct. Whenever you say something about "Person X and I," just remove "Person X" and see if the sentence still sounds natural. Example: "This solution works for Bob and I". Would you say "This solution works for I"? No, you wouldn't. So you should say "This solution works for Bob and me." Apply that to your sentence: "My generosity will help I".
It's an easy mistake to make, but also pretty easy to correct. Whenever you say something about "Person X and I," just remove "Person X" and see if the sentence still sounds natural. Example: "This solution works for Bob and I". Would you say "This solution works for I"? No, you wouldn't. So you should say "This solution works for Bob and me." Apply that to your sentence: "My generosity will help I".
Actually, in your example it would be "I believe that my generosity will help the university and myself achieve many great things."Shimakaze wrote:
It's grammatically incorrect. If you're trying to convey that your contribution will help both you and the university achieve great things, then it should be "I believe that my generosity will help the university and me achieve many great things."
It's an easy mistake to make, but also pretty easy to correct. Whenever you say something about "Person X and I," just remove "Person X" and see if the sentence still sounds natural. Example: "This solution works for Bob and I". Would you say "This solution works for I"? No, you wouldn't. So you should say "This solution works for Bob and me." Apply that to your sentence: "My generosity will help I".
EDIT- sorry that's not your example, it was the fix.
Either way, don't use the sentence. Toss it completely and attempt a more coherent letter/essay by dividing the ideas.
Last edited by Pochsy (2009-09-17 14:01:10)
The shape of an eye in front of the ocean, digging for stones and throwing them against its window pane. Take it down dreamer, take it down deep. - Other Families
_______ is the place where I felt most at home at during my college visits. Despite its huge population, there is always a thriving community of similarly-minded students, no matter what one is interested in. In attending _______, I will be able to propel other students, as well as myself, into the professional world with all the proficiency needed.
better?
better?
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
KEN-JENNINGS wrote:
Hahaha no.JessyCar wrote:
fixedhaffeysucks wrote:
"I believe ^ _ ^ that my; generosity will help! the university, & I, achieve (many :great: things.)"
That last sentence is complete shit.haffeysucks wrote:
_______ is the place where I felt most at home at during my college visits. Despite its huge population, there is always a thriving community of similarly-minded students, no matter what one is interested in. In attending _______, I will be able to propel other students, as well as myself, into the professional world with all the proficiency needed.
better?
"I am getting raped for an overpriced piece of paper that the elite say I need."
Last edited by Red Forman (2009-09-17 14:04:44)
An article I read in the Economist the other week says graduates earn something like 40% more. Suck on that.Red Forman wrote:
"I am getting raped for an overpriced piece of paper that the elite say I need."
it's easier to disprove than to proveghettoperson wrote:
That last sentence is complete shit.haffeysucks wrote:
_______ is the place where I felt most at home at during my college visits. Despite its huge population, there is always a thriving community of similarly-minded students, no matter what one is interested in. In attending _______, I will be able to propel other students, as well as myself, into the professional world with all the proficiency needed.
better?
why dont YOU suggest a better ending sentence?
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
Don't try to suck up to the uni staff. Realize that there is a human being reading your entrance essay. Use real examples and your true ideas instead of some canned response that comes across as you suckling the uni's balls. In your example you could literally insert 4 different schools and send virtually the same letter to all four...you think that goes over well?haffeysucks wrote:
_______ is the place where I felt most at home at during my college visits. Despite its huge population, there is always a thriving community of similarly-minded students, no matter what one is interested in. In attending _______, I will be able to propel other students, as well as myself, into the professional world with all the proficiency needed.
better?
ja. my point.ghettoperson wrote:
An article I read in the Economist the other week says graduates earn something like 40% more. Suck on that.Red Forman wrote:
"I am getting raped for an overpriced piece of paper that the elite say I need."
Did you read the last sentence? It doesn't make any sense. It sounds like you pulled out a dictionary, looked up a few fancy sounding words and threw them in a sentence, with only a vague idea of what they mean/how they should be used.haffeysucks wrote:
it's easier to disprove than to proveghettoperson wrote:
That last sentence is complete shit.haffeysucks wrote:
_______ is the place where I felt most at home at during my college visits. Despite its huge population, there is always a thriving community of similarly-minded students, no matter what one is interested in. In attending _______, I will be able to propel other students, as well as myself, into the professional world with all the proficiency needed.
better?
why dont YOU suggest a better ending sentence?