SEREMAKER wrote:
http://twistedsifter.com/wp-content/upl … oversy.gif
Taylor "Suzuki" Swift
wat?
Last edited by Ultrafunkula (2009-09-24 21:36:21)
wazzup, Ultra?
Only Skynyrd song I like is Tuesday's Gone, and that's only because it's on Happy Gilmore and I laugh, and laugh, and laugh... oh boy.
So again I had the weirdest dream.
This time I'm in a church talking to my pastor and a fat acolyte on the pews near the front of the church. Its after mass and the bright afternoon sun turns dark and the temperature in the room drops by about 20 degrees; we each look at each other trying to figure out what's happening.
The pew under the acolyte starts glowing at the edges touching the floor. He jumps off the pew and we are all staring at it amazed. From behind the pulpit the walls turns jet black. Metallic gray writting appears with all these symbols and arcane writing. For some reason I can read or understand them and warn the others that they are coming and using this church as a portal - we need to defend ourselves.
The pastor pulls our a mace from under his robes and I pull out a two-handed sword from a scabbard on my back. The pew that was glowing falls though the floor, the edges burnt. We look over the edges and see a birds-eye view of a multitude of demons, thousands if not hundreds of thousands below us.
The symbols above the pulpit begin to glow and the temperature starts rising rapidly. I yell out stand back and I ready my sword.
The arcane markings part and a large hole opens, from it a brights firely light and blistinging winds. From it flys what is a demon some 7-8 feet tall. It glides to the center of the church, in its hands a large doubled-ended quarterstaff with two flaming swirling metallic blades at its end - it turns to me.
Without care both the pastor and I charge the beast.
While we fight the acolyte runs to the back of the church and gets the bowl of holy water.
The fight goes back and forth with some near misses and close calls. When the timing was right the acolyte throws the holy water on the demon, his skin sizzling he rears back giving me an opening to run my sword though his chest.
With a surprised look on his face he bashes me on with his left hand and his wings...I go flying between two broken pews.
He then reaches for the blade and it shocks him. The blade begins to glow white hot and he reals back in agony - he drops to his knees.
Flames start shooting out of his back where the sword pierced though - he falls to his side in a fetal position.
His body then turns into ash. The portal closes immedialy, sucking all the air in the room and the ash with it. The hole in the front pew is no longer there.
I say, "Did we win?" as I stand up and brush the wooden splinters off me.
The pastor says, "There could be more, you never know."
I grab my sword and go to the entrance of the church. The darkness over the church begins to fade and the temperature returns to normal - I open the door.
It sunny and bright outside. An elderly couple and a family of four move past me. We had mass just minutes ago, but looking outside it appears to be as if a week past.
A small girl comes to me and pulls at my tunic. I look down and her innocent eyes grow larger and completely black, her teeth turn into fangs as she says, "Don't sleep, we'll be watching." And then instantly turns back to normal and scampers into the church.
I wake up. Its about 2 am and I'm in a cold sweat. I go to the bathroom, wash my face, then put on the radio as I go back to bed. 2:18 was the time as I shut my eyes.
Now I'm running down a path, though a fields towards a lake with a large island with large trees in the middle. On my back is a small monkey in a power-blue tunic with white trim clinging to my pony tail with one hand and my shoulder pad with the other.
He says, "We are almost there. Go there."
He points off to the right and I tilt in that direction. A few moments go by and I slow down near the edge of the lake.
"Ok wait here, I will take care of the tenticles. If I don't come in half-a-hour go back to my master. Wish me luck." as he jumps off my shoulder and bounds into the water towards the large island.
I look around and notice a broken skiff to my right. To my left I see a small stream feeding into the lake. I turn around and go a little up the hill to sit under a fig tree, a rock there to accompany me.
A few moments later I can see the trees swaying, not with the wind, but erratically. I can't make out what's happening on the island, so I sit an wait under the bright sun, shielded barely by the fig tree.
Almost like clockwork the I see a monkey swimming towards me. I run up and go into the water about waist deep and grab him by his arm and pull him, but instead of climbing on my back he relaxes his body.
I pull him to shore and battered a bruised. A large cut still bleeding above his right brow, is right eye shut and black. Cuts along his entire body, patches of hair missing...a toe broken is seems. He's a complete mess except for his power blue tunic with white trim, its untouched and in pristine condition.
"What happened in there?" I say.
He pauses and says softely, "It was easy, but I got them all tangled. You can now go to the center of the island."
"There will be a small hill in the middle of the corpse of trees. Go to the top of it and there will be an open cage with metal bars."
"Enter the cage and break though the floor with your sword. Stab at what you find there and whatever you do, do not stop."
I say, "Are you going to be alright?"
He says, "Its only a flesh wound, I'll be alright," as he coughs.
I take the edge of my tunic and rub the blood from his face. I take a potion from my belt, unstopper it, feed it to him.
I say, "now if I don't come back you tell your master I did my best," as I smirk. He painfully chuckles and I turn and dive into the lake.
For whatever reason I had no problem swimming to the large island. As I approach the shoreline I see into the large growth trees and its dark under the canopy. Many broken branches and leaves are on the beach.
As I get a footing I draw my sword. Water up to my shoulders I slowly waddle to the shoreline, the sound of creaking, not from wind, but as if the trees are being slowly torn apart.
I land and carefully move up the beach to the edge of the trees. I look up and I notice a lattice of thick rubbery tenticles that the monkey described earlier, all in knots over and under and though the branches of the trees - I enter the corpse.
Fallen branches everywhere, large roots hindering my every step.
I travel for a ways til the trees open up and I see a small hill as described with an iron cage at its top. From the base of the hill though are these the base of these tenticals going in all directions. I circle around until I see an opening and I climb the hill, lift myself over the cage wall and am now in the center of a large open cage.
I raise my sword over my head and cleave into the center of the floor splitting the board and I fall down as the sword easily goes though up to the hilt; the entire island seems to lurche to the right.
Hanging on the to sword I slide clockwise with me face down with both hands on the sword.
Surprised I stand up and pull my sword half covered is black tar ooze, the stench purtrid and I start to gag for a moment.
I kneel down and pull back the plank to see what looks like a large gelatinous cauliflower with black veins, a gash where my sword was oozing.
I pull back another plank with my hands and it continues.
I take a deep breath of clean air and plunge my sword into the mess again. The entire island lurches this time to the left. I continue plunging my sword into the muck over and over again. Each time the lurches are larger and longer.
The trees with the lattice of tenticales start breaking and tearing.
This goes on for what could had been hours. A rubbling from below my feet and large plume of ooze comes gushing from below throwing the cage and I hundreds of feet into the air.
As I arc down I think to myself, this is the end, I hope it was all worth it.
I start falling though the top most branches of the trees, grabbing for whatever I could to stop my fall.
I must have hit every branch on the way down but I hit with a loud thud facing skyward.
6:38, my alarm goes off, I turn to turn it off. Time to go to work.
This time I'm in a church talking to my pastor and a fat acolyte on the pews near the front of the church. Its after mass and the bright afternoon sun turns dark and the temperature in the room drops by about 20 degrees; we each look at each other trying to figure out what's happening.
The pew under the acolyte starts glowing at the edges touching the floor. He jumps off the pew and we are all staring at it amazed. From behind the pulpit the walls turns jet black. Metallic gray writting appears with all these symbols and arcane writing. For some reason I can read or understand them and warn the others that they are coming and using this church as a portal - we need to defend ourselves.
The pastor pulls our a mace from under his robes and I pull out a two-handed sword from a scabbard on my back. The pew that was glowing falls though the floor, the edges burnt. We look over the edges and see a birds-eye view of a multitude of demons, thousands if not hundreds of thousands below us.
The symbols above the pulpit begin to glow and the temperature starts rising rapidly. I yell out stand back and I ready my sword.
The arcane markings part and a large hole opens, from it a brights firely light and blistinging winds. From it flys what is a demon some 7-8 feet tall. It glides to the center of the church, in its hands a large doubled-ended quarterstaff with two flaming swirling metallic blades at its end - it turns to me.
Without care both the pastor and I charge the beast.
While we fight the acolyte runs to the back of the church and gets the bowl of holy water.
The fight goes back and forth with some near misses and close calls. When the timing was right the acolyte throws the holy water on the demon, his skin sizzling he rears back giving me an opening to run my sword though his chest.
With a surprised look on his face he bashes me on with his left hand and his wings...I go flying between two broken pews.
He then reaches for the blade and it shocks him. The blade begins to glow white hot and he reals back in agony - he drops to his knees.
Flames start shooting out of his back where the sword pierced though - he falls to his side in a fetal position.
His body then turns into ash. The portal closes immedialy, sucking all the air in the room and the ash with it. The hole in the front pew is no longer there.
I say, "Did we win?" as I stand up and brush the wooden splinters off me.
The pastor says, "There could be more, you never know."
I grab my sword and go to the entrance of the church. The darkness over the church begins to fade and the temperature returns to normal - I open the door.
It sunny and bright outside. An elderly couple and a family of four move past me. We had mass just minutes ago, but looking outside it appears to be as if a week past.
A small girl comes to me and pulls at my tunic. I look down and her innocent eyes grow larger and completely black, her teeth turn into fangs as she says, "Don't sleep, we'll be watching." And then instantly turns back to normal and scampers into the church.
I wake up. Its about 2 am and I'm in a cold sweat. I go to the bathroom, wash my face, then put on the radio as I go back to bed. 2:18 was the time as I shut my eyes.
Now I'm running down a path, though a fields towards a lake with a large island with large trees in the middle. On my back is a small monkey in a power-blue tunic with white trim clinging to my pony tail with one hand and my shoulder pad with the other.
He says, "We are almost there. Go there."
He points off to the right and I tilt in that direction. A few moments go by and I slow down near the edge of the lake.
"Ok wait here, I will take care of the tenticles. If I don't come in half-a-hour go back to my master. Wish me luck." as he jumps off my shoulder and bounds into the water towards the large island.
I look around and notice a broken skiff to my right. To my left I see a small stream feeding into the lake. I turn around and go a little up the hill to sit under a fig tree, a rock there to accompany me.
A few moments later I can see the trees swaying, not with the wind, but erratically. I can't make out what's happening on the island, so I sit an wait under the bright sun, shielded barely by the fig tree.
Almost like clockwork the I see a monkey swimming towards me. I run up and go into the water about waist deep and grab him by his arm and pull him, but instead of climbing on my back he relaxes his body.
I pull him to shore and battered a bruised. A large cut still bleeding above his right brow, is right eye shut and black. Cuts along his entire body, patches of hair missing...a toe broken is seems. He's a complete mess except for his power blue tunic with white trim, its untouched and in pristine condition.
"What happened in there?" I say.
He pauses and says softely, "It was easy, but I got them all tangled. You can now go to the center of the island."
"There will be a small hill in the middle of the corpse of trees. Go to the top of it and there will be an open cage with metal bars."
"Enter the cage and break though the floor with your sword. Stab at what you find there and whatever you do, do not stop."
I say, "Are you going to be alright?"
He says, "Its only a flesh wound, I'll be alright," as he coughs.
I take the edge of my tunic and rub the blood from his face. I take a potion from my belt, unstopper it, feed it to him.
I say, "now if I don't come back you tell your master I did my best," as I smirk. He painfully chuckles and I turn and dive into the lake.
For whatever reason I had no problem swimming to the large island. As I approach the shoreline I see into the large growth trees and its dark under the canopy. Many broken branches and leaves are on the beach.
As I get a footing I draw my sword. Water up to my shoulders I slowly waddle to the shoreline, the sound of creaking, not from wind, but as if the trees are being slowly torn apart.
I land and carefully move up the beach to the edge of the trees. I look up and I notice a lattice of thick rubbery tenticles that the monkey described earlier, all in knots over and under and though the branches of the trees - I enter the corpse.
Fallen branches everywhere, large roots hindering my every step.
I travel for a ways til the trees open up and I see a small hill as described with an iron cage at its top. From the base of the hill though are these the base of these tenticals going in all directions. I circle around until I see an opening and I climb the hill, lift myself over the cage wall and am now in the center of a large open cage.
I raise my sword over my head and cleave into the center of the floor splitting the board and I fall down as the sword easily goes though up to the hilt; the entire island seems to lurche to the right.
Hanging on the to sword I slide clockwise with me face down with both hands on the sword.
Surprised I stand up and pull my sword half covered is black tar ooze, the stench purtrid and I start to gag for a moment.
I kneel down and pull back the plank to see what looks like a large gelatinous cauliflower with black veins, a gash where my sword was oozing.
I pull back another plank with my hands and it continues.
I take a deep breath of clean air and plunge my sword into the mess again. The entire island lurches this time to the left. I continue plunging my sword into the muck over and over again. Each time the lurches are larger and longer.
The trees with the lattice of tenticales start breaking and tearing.
This goes on for what could had been hours. A rubbling from below my feet and large plume of ooze comes gushing from below throwing the cage and I hundreds of feet into the air.
As I arc down I think to myself, this is the end, I hope it was all worth it.
I start falling though the top most branches of the trees, grabbing for whatever I could to stop my fall.
I must have hit every branch on the way down but I hit with a loud thud facing skyward.
6:38, my alarm goes off, I turn to turn it off. Time to go to work.
Wazaaap, grumpy ol' Torino?burnzz wrote:
wazzup, Ultra?
wat
tl;dr
and prolly copy+pastaAussieReaper wrote:
tl;dr
*You're
no, you're a towel!Ultrafunkula wrote:
*You're
Moocowami wrote:
no, you're a towel!Ultrafunkula wrote:
*You're
How's the Ozzie sandbox project doing?
Well, there's a layer of red over most cars, but everything else is normal.Ultrafunkula wrote:
How's the Ozzie sandbox project doing?
You looking forward to South Park as much as I?
Hadn't even thought of that. Now I can't waitAussieReaper wrote:
Well, there's a layer of red over most cars, but everything else is normal.Ultrafunkula wrote:
How's the Ozzie sandbox project doing?
You looking forward to South Park as much as I?
Pff, it was in your sig!Ultrafunkula wrote:
Hadn't even thought of that. Now I can't waitAussieReaper wrote:
You looking forward to South Park as much as I?
I'm hoping for some more "conspiracy" type episodes, like the Towel, Alien contact that Stans dad ruined, Government conspiracy theory is a government conspiracy, etc. They always make me laugh.
Your sig avatar! <3 <3 <3 <3
eds.
eds.
Last edited by Ultrafunkula (2009-09-24 23:06:11)
Oh, I thought you meant that SP guys are gonna take a go on you guys about the sandstormAussieReaper wrote:
Pff, it was in your sig!Ultrafunkula wrote:
Hadn't even thought of that. Now I can't waitAussieReaper wrote:
You looking forward to South Park as much as I?
I'm hoping for some more "conspiracy" type episodes, like the Towel, Alien contact that Stans dad ruined, Government conspiracy theory is a government conspiracy, etc. They always make me laugh.
I keep seeing hulu when I glance at it. Clearly I need to cut back.Ultrafunkula wrote:
Your sig avatar! <3 <3 <3 <3
eds.
Xbone Stormsurgezz
Thou must go read stuff from H.P. Lovecraft. Cthulhu mythos isKmarion wrote:
I keep seeing hulu when I glance at it. Clearly I need to cut back.Ultrafunkula wrote:
Your sig avatar! <3 <3 <3 <3
eds.
Sadly the game Call of Cthulhu wasn't so well made. Was raging with various puzzles here and there.
herro
spamalamadingdong
SHA NA NA GINS? what
Ey ShaNayNay, dont be givin me dat lip ya hurr?
u shuld wtch dat 1 vid on utube wre dez blk ppl do 50 ghettoest blk nmes evaRRR!!