Hi miggle x x
To be honest, it all sounds pretty normal to me. I certainly wouldn't divorce my wife because of it, unless I didn't love her anymore but that would be a whole other problem than the one you seem to describe. Just the other day you were bragging about how you managed to marry the girl that lived 500 miles away (which IS an accomplishment I must say).Iconic Irony wrote:
You haven't a clue of the stupidity and general fucked-up-ness I deal with a on a day to day basis. I guarantee it would drive any of you people into a state of blind homicidal rage in a shopping mall, which I would've probably done already if I wasn't so lazy.
If it frustrates you that badly, find a way (with her) to work it out. People often regard marriage as a seal on an already succesfull relationship, thus expecting little more trouble than when they weren't married. Marriages on the long term, like most relationships you intend (emphasize intend) to indefinitely commit to, require work though.
I am not.Mitch wrote:
I am so doing thiswest-phoenix-az wrote:
For those of you who are not married yet:
Even if you don't own shit you should draft a premarital agreement, have it reviewed by at least one lawyer and notarized. You can determine how things will be split up during a divorce. Not only could it save you a lot of money and hassle, but you will both probably end up happier. Many marriages are ended over money. Keeping separate accounts and agreeing on which bills will be paid by each party should eliminate many problems during marriage and divorce.
I look at it this way. If you can't figure out how to split things fairly before you are married, how in the hell do you think you'll do it during a divorce? Plus drafting a prenup and getting a lawyer will cost less than paying lawyers to argue everything during a divorce. If you never get divorce, great! If you do, well you have some protection to fall back on.
Though I agree with the general idea of being real, deliberately keeping seperate accounts would go to far for me. I don't even split the bill when going out with platonic girlfriends, let alone I'd do so with my wife.
prenups are like asking for a divorce.
You don't have to keep separate accounts. In the prenup you can specify how a joint account will be split upon divorce. Your prenup doesn't have to specify who or how bills will be paid. The great thing about a prenup is you get to specify how things will be divided and not let someone else make the decision for you.Lai wrote:
I am not.
Though I agree with the general idea of being real, deliberately keeping seperate accounts would go to far for me. I don't even split the bill when going out with platonic girlfriends, let alone I'd do so with my wife.
There are benefits to separate accounts though. It's easier for both of you to keep track of your money. If one account is compromised you still have the other account without issue. If you have a tax problem, they may only freeze the one account, leaving you with the other to cash checks and pay bills. During a divorce you don't have to worry about the money being spent by the other party. A lot of people look at agreements as unromantic or not trusting of the other person, but I think they are just responsible planning and protect both of you if the worse does happen, which it often does.
I think its the opposite. If you can both draft a prenup together and agree on things thats a very good sign that the marriage should work. I'm sure many people find out their fiancee isn't the person they thought they were once they start determining how major situations will be decided. I'm sure most divorced people wish they had a prenup that would have protected their interested more than the court did.Miggle wrote:
prenups are like asking for a divorce.
Whether you go with one or not, it's worth your time and money to look into a pernup and what can and can't be covered. The fact is, during a divorce, the decisions will be made by someone. It's a gamble whether you come out on top or not.
I wonder about the "relationships" you've been in if you say something like this...Bull3t wrote:
That's the typical woman.
Theres no getting around.
Post of the week right here. Well done.west-phoenix-az wrote:
Depending on the laws where you live:ghettoperson wrote:
Also, how do you divide your shit up? I don't want her to get my stuff, but is she entitled to it anyway?
Anything owned before marriage is yours.
Anything obtained during marriage is both of yours, equally.
With a pernup, premarital agreement, etc. you can:
You can waive your right to spousal maintenance/alimony. Some states have laws regarding this and you must follow them.
With a prenup you can specify categories of items to belong to one person only. For example: computer equipment, entertainment center, vehicles, tools, firearms, jewelry, furniture, collections, appliances, animals, etc.
You can specify that each party will be solely responsible for debt from their own accounts. Credit cards, medical, loans, etc.
You can waive your right to the other parties retirement benefits, investments, etc.
You can specify how vehicles will be distributed. Each keep their daily driver, any other vehicles are sold and split, etc.
You can specify how houses and land will be split. Positive equity can be split 50/50, one has to buy the other out. You can specify a formula for splitting negative equity in properties, etc.
You can specify how a business will be split.
You don't have to own items you list. They can be future items.
You can specify a "no fault" divorce. In some places the person at fault will get less out of the divorce. Fault can be many things including: criminal, drug abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, cheating, financial, etc. Things that are hard to prove... and during a divorce don't need to be proven to fuck you.
The list of things you can cover and separate are almost endless.
You can't specify child support and child custody in a prenup.
To do it on a budget. You can buy a guide, like this one, to draft your own agreement. You can add in your own paragraphs and cover items that may not be included in the guide. Then take it to a lawyer for review. Many states don't require that you file the prenup with a recorder. You can make, sign and notarize multiple copies. The lawyer(s) will usually want a copy of the final agreement. You can also amend the agreement later on, to add or remove items. How the amendments will be made (signed, notarized, etc.) should be specified in the original agreement.
It's really not that big of a deal and if you and your expected spouse are somewhat intelligent you should be able to draft a fair and legal prenup using a guide like the one I linked above. A court always has the option of tossing out a pernup, but that is usually done if it is completely unfair, illegal or signed too close (less than 30-days) to the marriage ceremony. Usually just the paragraphs or sections that are unfair or illegal will be removed and determined by the court. The key to drafting a good prenup is making it fair, legal and agreeable.
To the court your marriage is a contract. So why not set as many of the terms yourself and remove the government/courts from your life as much a possible? I know I don't want someone I've never met making decisions about my property or money. Usually someone gets screwed in a divorce. A prenup can make it more fair and pleasant for both parties. I don't understand why you wouldn't have a prenup, even if you don't own shit the judgements against you can last forever! Yeah, thats right, forever! Some states can require lifetime spousal maintenance/alimony. Fuck that!
My girlfriend and I have talked about a prenup if/when we get married. We're both perfectly fine with it. You buy insurance for a diamond ring, car, house, etc. Why can't you have an insurance policy for a marriage? Again, most marriages are ended over money and/or the divorce just turns into a fight over money. Set fighting rules first. Just because you're laying down ground rules doesn't mean you have to ever use them. It's a fall back. Sure it's weird to think about, but it's perfectly normal.
I think you have some rather odd anecdotes there - but have you actually tried talking with your wife about it? How long have you been married?Iconic Irony wrote:
You haven't a clue of the stupidity and general fucked-up-ness I deal with a on a day to day basis. I guarantee it would drive any of you people into a state of blind homicidal rage in a shopping mall, which I would've probably done already if I wasn't so lazy.
Why?Miggle wrote:
prenups are like asking for a divorce.
because you're saying that you haven't got much faith in the marriage.CapnNismo wrote:
Why?Miggle wrote:
prenups are like asking for a divorce.
I wasn't even giving advice, why would I with something I have no experience with?Miggle wrote:
ITT: Brad and War Man have no idea what they're talking about but do anyways.
The irony of guns, is that they can save lives.
Miggle wrote:
because you're saying that you haven't got much faith in the marriage.
Phoenix said it best. Try it and see what your fiancee, the person you love, thinks of it.west-phoenix-az wrote:
I think its the opposite. If you can both draft a prenup together and agree on things thats a very good sign that the marriage should work. I'm sure many people find out their fiancee isn't the person they thought they were once they start determining how major situations will be decided.
It has nothing to do with not having faith. It has everything to do with realizing that in 10-20 years or longer that both people MAY feel differently about the other and want out. That's fine. It's human. Rather set ground rules you both can agree on now rather than let a judge and a lawyer fuck you.
Iconic Irony wrote:
Lucien wrote:
[x] Make wife "disappear"
[ ] Don't make wife "disappear"
do it
Baba Booey
My supervisor is just beginning the process of divorce.Agent_Dung_Bomb wrote:
Much of the complexity will be determined by whether or not you have children. If you do, it will be much more complex. If there are no children, then it is much easier, especially if the divorce is amicable.
He has 4 children.
He has asked around about advice. Some of his best mates have previously been divorced. There is no such thing as an amicable divorce in the courts point of view.
Whoa... Can't believe these forums are still kicking.
You do not know me or my life.Gooners wrote:
because you're an idiotWar Man wrote:
I wasn't even giving advice, why would I with something I have no experience with?Miggle wrote:
ITT: Brad and War Man have no idea what they're talking about but do anyways.
The irony of guns, is that they can save lives.
reportedGooners wrote:
because you're an idiotWar Man wrote:
I wasn't even giving advice, why would I with something I have no experience with?Miggle wrote:
ITT: Brad and War Man have no idea what they're talking about but do anyways.
/winWar Man wrote:
You do not know me or my life.Gooners wrote:
because you're an idiotWar Man wrote:
I wasn't even giving advice, why would I with something I have no experience with?
And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.
er. how?-Sh1fty- wrote:
/winWar Man wrote:
You do not know me or my life.Gooners wrote:
because you're an idiot
I smell butt buddies
BF2 1 on 1. Whoever wins...
I know your real name ain't Melvin...War Man wrote:
You do not know me or my life.Gooners wrote:
because you're an idiotWar Man wrote:
I wasn't even giving advice, why would I with something I have no experience with?
Why so rude goon?Gooners wrote:
because you're an idiotWar Man wrote:
I wasn't even giving advice, why would I with something I have no experience with?
Because that dude doesn't know shit about that person, and until somebody actually talks (voice) or instant stuff like xfire or msn you can't really get to know a person just because you've read a couple of their posts.Adams_BJ wrote:
er. how?-Sh1fty- wrote:
/winWar Man wrote:
You do not know me or my life.
I smell butt buddies
And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.
People have.-Sh1fty- wrote:
Because that dude doesn't know shit about that person, and until somebody actually talks (voice) or instant stuff like xfire or msn you can't really get to know a person just because you've read a couple of their posts.Adams_BJ wrote:
er. how?-Sh1fty- wrote:
/win
I smell butt buddies
Johnny Cochran is dead, so I wouldn't risk it.1stSFOD-Delta wrote:
http://www.opinion-site.com/poll-tool/p … impson.jpgIconic Irony wrote:
Lucien wrote:
[x] Make wife "disappear"
[ ] Don't make wife "disappear"
do it
Also, if she was a dumb bitch with a shitty job, why'd you marry her in the first place.
Spoiler (highlight to read):
lemme guess, tits?
Giving advice =/= talkingWar Man wrote:
I wasn't even giving advice, why would I with something I have no experience with?Miggle wrote:
ITT: Brad and War Man have no idea what they're talking about but do anyways.
-Sh1fty- wrote:
I thought that's what most chicks at bars were for.War Man wrote:
Probably to have sex with her while the lights are on.-Sh1fty- wrote:
Why would you marry somebody you wouldn't spend you life with? I thought that's what GFs were for, temporary...
Man the fuck up and talk to her before coming to your decision. Whatever you choose, dont regret it after.
My advice anyway, anything to do with divorce... take the other guys' advice.
My advice anyway, anything to do with divorce... take the other guys' advice.
while this is true for the most part, you CAN (with a bit of background on the person) build a fairly accurate profile based on what they say and how they say it-Sh1fty- wrote:
Because that dude doesn't know shit about that person, and until somebody actually talks (voice) or instant stuff like xfire or msn you can't really get to know a person just because you've read a couple of their posts.Adams_BJ wrote:
er. how?-Sh1fty- wrote:
/win
I smell butt buddies
OT:
im sorry cougs
but not to be a douche or anything.... but after that post you made on trackr that time i'm surprised you got married to her tbh
even one of the things out of that original list would have made me kick her to the curb
love blinds
ahem.-Sh1fty- wrote:
Because that dude doesn't know shit about that person, and until somebody actually talks (voice) or instant stuff like xfire or msn you can't really get to know a person just because you've read a couple of their posts.Adams_BJ wrote:
er. how?-Sh1fty- wrote:
/win
I smell butt buddies
Could someone please explain to me what is unusual or unique about the above?Has your girlfriend ever tried to cook on the stove with a bottle of high octane gas treatment sitting next to the burner?
Has your girlfriend gone to college for 5 years to obtain a B.A. in science only to work at a Starbucks and a Target?
Has your girlfriend's stupidity ever caused you to have to drive 500 miles through ice and snow after working a nine hour shift to fix a fuckup that would've never happened in the first place if she would have done what you said?
Has your girlfriend ever set YOU up on a threesome and then made you feel terrible for it like....every other fucking day, forever?
Has your girlfriend ever swerved across three lanes of rush hour highway traffic and slammed into the side of a car. With you in it?
Is your girlfriend a hypochondriac?
Is your girlfriend incredibly stupid? Like I mean.....REALLY DENSE?
Women are 'crazy', which is to say they have a different psychology which we don't understand.
Upto you if you want to persevere or find yourself a different neurotic trainwreck to spend your life with.
Protip: Sell off all your important stuff quietly to friends and relatives for a fraction of what its worth. Hope you can buy it back after its all over.
House etc, you're screwed.
Fuck Israel