This is the message that changed my life today. You see, I had it all planned out. I was gonna get off of work, buy a sandwich, beat the piss outta Grandma, then buy some crack. But wouldn't you know it, the I-80 to the home was awash with traffic after I got my toasted philly with extra onions. I deviated, and scored some rocks on Martin Luther King Blvd. off some friendly black fellows with creative nick names. As I returned to the freeway, eager to put the beat down on Grandma, there it was. Posted on the back of some maintenance truck, a bumper sticker called out for my attention. It read, of course:
Stop elderly abuse!
Fucking deep, man. How I had longed to work Grandma over with a couple of swift jabs to her droopy neck. Now here was a shining beacon, suggesting that my actions may somehow be...wrong. Now, I already know what you're thinking - But Gravy! Old people suck! They stink, they bitch, they talk nonstop about the war, their wrinkly faces make me what to vomit, and they shit all over themselves. If we can't beat their asses, what good are they to society? The answer - I have no fucking idea. But, read the bumper sticker. They wouldn't make bumper sticker if it wasn't the truth. The next time you're gonna beat the shit outta Grampy for burning your poptart, think back to this post.
In light of this nothing short of brilliant bumper sticker idea, I've come up with a few of my own:
Don't molest retarded infants!
Your dog is NOT for fucking!
Racial cleansing is probably a bad idea!
Don't store food in your anus!
One day we shall have a bumper sticker to cure all of societies ills. Until that day, I'm gonna fuck my dog.
Thank you.
Stop elderly abuse!
Fucking deep, man. How I had longed to work Grandma over with a couple of swift jabs to her droopy neck. Now here was a shining beacon, suggesting that my actions may somehow be...wrong. Now, I already know what you're thinking - But Gravy! Old people suck! They stink, they bitch, they talk nonstop about the war, their wrinkly faces make me what to vomit, and they shit all over themselves. If we can't beat their asses, what good are they to society? The answer - I have no fucking idea. But, read the bumper sticker. They wouldn't make bumper sticker if it wasn't the truth. The next time you're gonna beat the shit outta Grampy for burning your poptart, think back to this post.
In light of this nothing short of brilliant bumper sticker idea, I've come up with a few of my own:
Don't molest retarded infants!
Your dog is NOT for fucking!
Racial cleansing is probably a bad idea!
Don't store food in your anus!
One day we shall have a bumper sticker to cure all of societies ills. Until that day, I'm gonna fuck my dog.
Thank you.
