Sex with a tree?

2010-01-29 12:12:46

#1

Eifa: Never regret anything that ever made you smile.; +923|6285|00770

what the fuck?

A MAN has been banned from a public park - after he allegedly tried to have sex with a TREE.

William Shaw, 21, has been ordered by a court not to enter Central Park in Airdrie after claims he attempted to bonk the plant.

It is alleged he dropped his trousers and underpants and exposed himself while in the visitor attraction in September last year.

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol … -bonk.html

No, I don't need an attitude adjustment. You just need to fuck off.

2010-01-29 12:13:37

#2

ghettoperson: Member; +1,943|7063

As long as I don't get caught for another 6 months, I won't be the youngest person ever caught fucking a tree.

2010-01-29 12:17:18

#3

jay_courage: Alive in a sea of mediocre; +131|6373|Carnoustie

That's nothing, dude in japan got wasted and thought he'd stick it in a metal bench, started grinding and his softie changed to a stiffy. Unfortunetly he could no longer remove his dong from the bench and had to be cut free and taken to hospital

I Friggin Love The Nhs

2010-01-29 12:17:54

#4

13urnzz: Banned; +5,830|6911

inb4ATG

2010-01-29 12:18:21

#5

1stSFOD-Delta: Mike "The Spooge Gobbler" Morales; +376|6392|Blue Mountain State

big deal. i've done that before.

https://www.itwirx.com/other/hksignature.jpg

Baba Booey

2010-01-29 12:18:43

#6

Eifa: Never regret anything that ever made you smile.; +923|6285|00770

jay_courage wrote:
That's nothing, dude in japan got wasted and thought he'd stick it in a metal bench, started grinding and his softie changed to a stiffy. Unfortunetly he could no longer remove his dong from the bench and had to be cut free and taken to hospital

I understand if you haven't got laid in a while.. but a tree? a metal bench?

No, I don't need an attitude adjustment. You just need to fuck off.

2010-01-29 12:20:41

#7

KEN-JENNINGS: I am all that is MOD!; +2,991|7046|949

To be completely honest if the guy wants to fuck a tree, let him. As long as he doesn't expose himself in public (which is what the guy did in this instance) it doesn't bother me.

2010-01-29 12:21:16

#8

Macbeth: Banned; +2,444|5999

Attempted to rape a tree. Tragic.

2010-01-29 12:22:52

#9

13urnzz: Banned; +5,830|6911

lel, William Shaw got a woodie . . .

2010-01-29 12:23:52

#10

Eifa: Never regret anything that ever made you smile.; +923|6285|00770

burnzz wrote:
lel, William Shaw got a woodie . . .

lol

No, I don't need an attitude adjustment. You just need to fuck off.

2010-01-29 12:32:38

#11

El Beardo: steel woolly mammoth; +150|6134|Gulf Coast

Eifa wrote:
I understand if you haven't got laid in a while.. but a tree? a metal bench?

The article mentioned two other incidents...

In 2007 Steven Marshall, 19, admitted simulating sex with the pavement in Galashiels, Selkirkshire.
In the same year Robert Stewart, 53, was caught by two cleaners having sex with a bicycle in his hostel room.

The next time you're riding your bike on the sidewalk you may be closer to a threesome than you think.

Important

2010-01-29 12:33:52

#12

whaaaaaaaaaat: ><>; +215|5664

https://i339.photobucket.com/albums/n474/ohaiwat/wat/0731081545.jpg

2010-01-29 12:34:20

#13

.Sup: be nice; +2,646|6867|The Twilight Zone

treesome

https://www.shrani.si/f/3H/7h/45GTw71U/untitled-1.png

2010-01-29 12:34:40

#14

Mekstizzle: WALKER; +3,611|7035|London, England

.Sup wrote:
treesome

aha

2010-01-29 12:43:36

#15

JahManRed: wank; +646|7042|IRELAND

I seen a hippy fucking a tree at a festival. Grim...........he was well into it to. Fair play to him.

2010-01-29 12:45:46

#16

.Sup: be nice; +2,646|6867|The Twilight Zone

JahManRed wrote:
I seen a hippy fucking a tree at a festival. Grim...........he was well into it to. Fair play to him.

so basically he raped the tree. I'm pretty sure tree said NO

2010-01-29 12:51:24

#17

CanadianLoser: Meow :3 :3; +1,148|6922

burnzz wrote:
inb4ATG

good call

https://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c398/FFLink13/ATG-1.jpg

2010-01-29 12:51:40

#18

Bertster7: Confused Pothead; +1,101|6995|SE London

Pics of the tree!

2010-01-29 13:02:38

#19

FatherTed: xD; +3,936|6914|so randum

if it was a pretty tree...

Small hourglass island
Always raining and foggy
Use an umbrella

2010-01-29 13:02:52

#20

Ryan: Member; +1,230|7257|Alberta, Canada

Of course it's in Alberta

edit: Oh, must be some European city named Airdrie.

Last edited by Ryan (2010-01-29 13:03:42)

2010-01-29 13:09:10

#21

coke: Aye up duck!; +440|7123|England. Stoke

Ryan wrote:
Of course it's in Alberta

edit: Oh, must be some European city named Airdrie.

Yeah the original one...
In Scotland which does explain a lot, me thinks there were probably some empty bottles of Buckfast to be found in the area.

2010-01-29 13:16:22

#22

King_County_Downy: shitfaced; +2,791|7011|Seattle

jay_courage wrote:
That's nothing, dude in japan got wasted and thought he'd stick it in a metal bench, started grinding and his softie changed to a stiffy. Unfortunetly he could no longer remove his dong from the bench and had to be cut free and taken to hospital

I've heard that in the midevil days of way back, when a man was to be sentenced for rape, they would tie a string around the base of his limp member and have women come in and arouse him.

This would not only cut off circulation but in some cases cut his penis completely off.

Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

"baseball baseball baeball.... oh god....."

Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it

2010-01-29 13:37:36