BF2S Forums EE Chats March

Might stick a film on, well stream off internet, maybe 9th company, but the subtitles will be hard to read on a pc screen, so yeah, maybe the Jacket, unless in the next 5 mins someone gives a super swell recommendation

morning muff munchers

Jord is going to kill Somalians.


True stori guise.

you like

to watch jord kill somalians.


I mean mudkeips

And get ££££ compensation in 18-24 months.


But yeah, quiet, I'm rewatching 9th company

cue the pancake rabbit

jord wrote:

if you can't be bothered copy and pasting the link then i cant be bothered posting coherant and relevant sentances

im at work and my boss sits right behind me.  so piss off.

jord wrote:

and yet your boss has no qualms about you browsing a videogame site?


get me a job there

it looks just like a typical webpage with all the pics and shit turned off.  looking at pancake bunny is too obvious.

Let's see if his boss notices this

MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT
MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT
MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT
MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT
MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT
MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT
MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT
MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT
MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT
MY BOSS IS A FAGGOT

hey jord you never told us about the breech asplosion *sits on the floor cross legged*

It's like twice as long but it's just bone shit, start reading at 30 to tdlr





STATEMENT OF WITNESS




Name:                        Mcawesome

Address:                    The batcave

Profession/Occupation:         Cigar smoker

Age and Date of Birth:          4000 BC


1.    I am awesome and I live at the above address with my mother mrs awesome. We have lived at this address since 2008.
2.
3.   
4.    This statement refers to an accident that occurred whilst training in the army at the Catterick Garrison in North Yorkshire.
5.     On Sunday 23rd August 2009 I joined the army after physically training myself for several months to ensure I passed Army selection. This was a life long ambition and all I have ever wanted to do since being at school.
6.    I joined the Duke of Lancaster’s regiment and was assigned to the Kings 3 Platoon stationed at Catterick for my basic training.
7.    The training involved basic ‘skills at arms’ training, including rifle lessons, rifle practice and physical training.
8.    Every morning we got up at 5.30 am and every training day was different. Although the days always included physical fitness training and some rifle training and practice.
9.    There were also classroom-based lessons for subjects that included equality and diversity training, core values and first aid.
10.    There were about forty soldiers in each platoon and we shared four rooms with ten to each room.
11.    Living so close together we all became good friends and during the training I enjoyed every single aspect of the training and thoroughly enjoyed the job as a whole. I was really looking forward to my future career in the army.
12.     On Tuesday 29th September 2009 I got up at 5.30 am as usual and went for a shower, I got into my uniform and went for my breakfast. We marched to breakfast as a platoon.
13.    After breakfast we returned to the barracks where the section commander, Corporal mclovin, would normally brief us on the day’s itinerary and which kit to take and what to wear.
14.    However on this occasion Corporal mcloving was away at a funeral so Corporal yorkshire PRICK gave the morning briefing.
15.    After the briefing I gathered my ‘skill at arms’ kit, which included body armour, helmet, webbing, live magazines and day sacks.
16.    I was really looking forward to this training day, as it was to be the first training session where we would use live rounds at the live firing range.
17.    We marched down to the live firing range. We were based at the Vimy barracks and we had to march about half a mile to the Helles barracks where the live firing range was situated, arriving at about 9.30 am.
18.    On arrival we were split into details, being sorted into groups alphabetically. I was in the second detail.
19.    Prior to cleaning the rifles we did our NSP’s, these are the ‘Normal Safety Procedures’. This is where we stand in a line and show the breach of the rifle to ensure there is no ammo in the rifle.
20.    The breaches are also checked by two corporals, when you are passed they tap you on the shoulder and then you release the working parts to the front and fire off the action.
21.    After the NSP’s we all sat down together to prepare our weapons. I got out my cleaning kit, stripped down my rifle and cleaned all the parts.
22.    This procedure was not supervised thoroughly as there was one less Corporal than usual and no Platoon Sergeant.
23.    The temporary platoon commander, Captain austrlian MONG,  and the other corporals were in the range administration office doing some paperwork. This is a three-sided building with the open side facing the range.
24.    There were two or three staff doing the administration and sorting out the live ammunition and only one corporal was supervising the cleaning of the rifles.
25.    The order was then made for us to get our magazines out for inspection, we have four each. The corporals then inspected the magazines and the pouches for any ammo.
26.    We were then ordered back behind the range to where we had cleaned our rifles.
27.    After the first detail had fired off and completed their NSP safety checks they dressed off the range and I dressed onto the firing point with my detail. I was wearing my headphone type ear defence at this stage.
28.    I was to fire five rounds in the prone position. Whilst in the prone position I went through the NSP.
29.    I loaded the magazine and the order ‘make ready’ was given.
30.    At this point I checked my safety catch, change lever and then I cocked my weapon and forward assisted, checking that the bolt went into the chamber.
31.    After we heard ‘made ready’ the order was made ‘targets to the front in your own time’.
32.    I took the safety catch off, lined up the shot and pulled the trigger, but nothing happened.
33.    There was a stoppage in the rifle. I cleared the stoppage by pulling the cocking handle back to let me see the breach, as I did that a round ejected.
34.    I attempted to clear the stoppage and it looked all clear. I then resumed the firing position and attempted to fire again.
35.    I then had another stoppage so I signalled for Captain Austrlian mong to assist by raising my right hand as trained
36.    Captain mongo then came over and took my rifle off me and cleared the stoppage. He then handed the rifle back to me.
37.    I resumed the firing position, lined up the shot, looking through the sights and pulled the trigger
38.    As I pulled the trigger the breach of the rifle exploded and the cocking handle flew out, the rifle was buckled and destroyed.
39.    As the breach exploded I felt a sharp pain and burning sensation to my right brow and temple.
40.    I noticed that as I fired there was excessive smoke coming from the rifle and it was a very loud bang. As this was my very first live shot I was not sure what had happened.
41.    Captain mongo shouted ‘stop stop stop’, which is the call to cease-fire, put on the safety catch and lay the weapon down.
42.    I was told to stand up, it was then that I saw that the weapon was in bits, it was buckled and parts were missing.
43.    The corporals came over to join Captain mongo to see what had happened.
44.    Corporal dingle saw that I had visible injuries so he took me to the medical centre in his own car.